I always pick DS up, from nursery, with a wet nappy...

[GreyGraveyard]

DS is 3, he has been going to this nursery (since September) and things have been going well. However, he always seems to come home in a wet nappy... Maybe twice a month he doesn't. I think it's more than a coincidence.

I spoke to his Key Worker, who said that she wasn't aware, so he must be peeing just as he leaves. I really don't believe that, DS shows obvious signs when he is peeing...

I know it sounds like I'm jumping to conclusions, but I feel like they just don't bother changing him (he only goes for a few hours in the mornings, 3 times a week) but there is no way to prove this, is there?

What can I do? Thanks!

[Originalfoogirl]

Will also say the "provided they are toilet trained" that many nurseries have allegedly put in place is usually not actually a local authority ruling. It has been challenged in court in Scotland and is very much against the rules.

[Obliviated]

Hi OP

I have a 3.5yr old. We've just turned down a school nursery place for him as they wouldn't have changed his nappy. They would have called me to come into school to change a soiled nappy which meant he would have been dirty for 30 minutes or so before I could get there, which is totally unacceptable. They would have ignored wet nappies. Thing is though, being 3 and being aware of being wet means my DC hates not being changed after a wee. So he should be changed because he wants to be and because he's uncomfortable. He knows he is walking around in a wee filled nappy and wants it off, so they should be checking him and changing him when he's wet. Is he able to tell them he's done a wee?

[popperdoodles]

Op, you have said there are other issues and that you are delaying toilet training for particular reasons. That is absolutely fine. You need to discuss his exact needs with nursery so they are fully informed and a care plan can be drawn up. If they will not meet his medical needs then you must look elsewhere. Maybe your health visitor could call nursery and explain?
Their general practice sounds pretty standard for children of that age who really ought to be thinking about toilet training.

[hazeyjane]

Then he needs a plan drawn up with the preschool, that states either that he will be changed at xxx time or that he will let a member of staff know in a designated way (vocally, a sign, a card).

If this is going to mean delaying longer term, then it would be good to have support of the preschool, his future school and outside professionals (continence services may be able to help advise on best ways to toilet train).

Schools and preschools re not allowed to refuse a child in nappies, but they do need a clear plan in place and clear nn the parents and staff, so that so that everything can be dealt with in the best interests of the child, whilst following school/preschool policies.

At our preschool there has been a child who would only wee in nappies, they would come to one of us and sign toilet and then someone would change their pullup, it took less time than changing the nappy of a younger child and would happen at most twice in a session.

[EmmelineW]

How have things been OP? Just read this and was going to write a reply but thought I'd ask first.