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AIBU?

Being induced tomorrow and husband in pub

61 replies

NorthernMonkey01 · 22/07/2016 22:35

So after 8 years of trying inc ivf, ops, miscarriages you name it we finally had some amazing luck and fell pregnant. For various reasons I'm due to be induced tomorrow and dh has gone to the pub to meet a group of guys in a longstanding arrangement. I don't mind him going for a bit (he said he'd only be a couple of hours) so we'd still have our 'last night ' together. He left at 5:30 and has just bounced in pretty much pissed. (No thought about what we'd do to get to the hospital if I actually started labour which is a distinct possibility given what's been happening the past couple of days)
I'm sodding livid and he can't see what the problem is. He said I could have come to the pub.... Yes I could apart from the fact that I can hardly walk and am in agony so the last thing I want to do is be in a bloody pub. So having a rant here, aibu or should I just suck it up?

OP posts:

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TheBouquets · 22/07/2016 23:15

OOft I would not be allowed to write what I am thinking of saying to your DH tonight.
Tomorrow morning with the nerves of going in to be induced you could make a lot of use of the pots pans and metal oven trays with fingers that don't seem to be able to hold things and then hoover for as long as possible.
He should not even have left you in the house alone never mind go out and get incapable
Good luck for tomorrow.

GinandJazzHands · 22/07/2016 23:16

YANBU. Totally agree and I'd be nothing short of livid too. Badger may have a point though, esp. as you say if this is totally out of character, maybe either he's nervous or just excited he's going to be a dad and incredibly misguidedly chose this evening to celebrate. All the very best for tomorrow!

geekymommy · 22/07/2016 23:16

He did what?

villainousbroodmare · 22/07/2016 23:17

YANBU but I'd definitely let it go. Tomorrow is a day for solidarity. You can certainly tease the hell out of him, laugh at his hangover and break his fingers with your ferocious grip when the contractions start!
Be graceful and don't start the happiest day of your lives with a row.
Huge congratulations, excited for you!

BlackSwan · 22/07/2016 23:20

Tomorrow, (or perhaps the day after...) you will meet the most important person you will ever know in your life. Your DH will run a very distant second, if that. He's being selfish, but he's really not that important in the scheme of things.

WaitrosePigeon · 22/07/2016 23:22

I don't see the problem personally..

HooseRice · 22/07/2016 23:25

All the best for tomorrow OP.

PovertyPain · 22/07/2016 23:26

It's very selfish of him, especially if you're struggling with your mental health, OP.

Mrskeats · 22/07/2016 23:30

Awful behaviour he should have been at home with you. It's a big thing you are about to go through tomorrow and he should be excited for it and not bloody hungover.

Mrskeats · 22/07/2016 23:31

Oh and good luck tomorrow

Daisygarden · 22/07/2016 23:32

I sympathise totally. I would be livid too and it's really inconsiderate.

However you have a big and beautiful job ahead of you tomorrow. I don't think you should "suck it up" as such, and certainly not for his benefit but this is probably one of those times you have to focus on the bigger picture for your own sanity and strength. I don't know what else you can do. You are going to have to work together with him tomorrow and beyond so not speaking to him (or similar) isn't a long term strategy.

Having an argument with him is likely very tempting, but if he's drunk it's unlikely to reach any kind of satisfactory conclusion. I once read that you should never pick a row with a drunk person, because it is just pointless, they are at that point incapable of meaningful resolution.

In terms of practical solutions, I would just go to bed and try to go to sleep. Dream up all the childish and funny ways you could pay him back! All the best for tomorrow x

blinkowl · 22/07/2016 23:34

DH is a pretty heavy drinker usually but even so he stopped going out to drink about 2 weeks before my due date.

YANBU.

Normandy144 · 22/07/2016 23:35

There's not much you or he can do about it now. Get a good nights kip and focus on tomorrow. Sounds like he doesn't have form for this behaviour so I'd register my annoyance and then move on. Don't let it linger, it's not worth it. You'll have a newborn soon and that's when you both need to be really nice to each other.

blinkowl · 22/07/2016 23:35

But - like others say you have bigger fish to fry tomorrow.

Put this away for another time, and focus on practical steps to make your induction go smoothly.

foursillybeans · 22/07/2016 23:54

No, that's a horrid thing to do to you the night before the baby is coming. A possibility could be that he is extremely nervous himself and is panicking? That's not a great reason though. But don't let it ruin your own evening and steal your much needed rest. Hope all goes well and speedily for you tomorrow and your LO is in your arms very soon.

mathanxiety · 22/07/2016 23:57

nice to know I'm not being a mentalist for once

Is this just an off the cuff remark or does someone consider you a mentalist/overreacting, etc?

Wishing you all the best for tomorrow

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 23/07/2016 00:10

I'd be pissed. Yanbu.

But Baby's First Pub Crawl will be EPIC.

Best wishes

maras2 · 23/07/2016 05:40

Best wishes from me too. and lots of . Hope that pisshead DH steps up and makes himself useful today.

SurfBored73 · 23/07/2016 06:06

BlackSwan

"Your DH will run a very distant second, if that. He's being selfish, but he's really not that important in the scheme of things."

Really? The baby's father isn't that important? Wow, bet you make your partner feel like a valued member of the family.

Good luck OP.

blinkowl · 23/07/2016 07:05

Good luck for today :)

Racheyg · 23/07/2016 07:07

Wow some harsh words I don't feel the name cunt justifies it. He just didn't think how special last night was for you.

Look at the bigger picture, you are going to have a beautiful baby and a amazing family life.

I hope all goes well today op. Just make dh do the first nappy

MollyTwo · 23/07/2016 07:08

Yanbu what a selfish arsehole! Anyway hope all goes well with you today and congrats

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orangebird69 · 23/07/2016 07:12

Me neither waitrose...

cdtaylornats · 23/07/2016 07:27

If he told his mates they would all have bought him drinks. He would be the centre of attention. Peer pressure would have kept him there.

blueskyinmarch · 23/07/2016 07:31

I can absolutely see why you are angry and pissed off with your DH.

On the other hand i can see how it has happened. DH is in the pub thinking ‘Shit, tomorrow DW will be in labour, we will have a baby, our life will change’ then someone says ‘another drink’ and he thinks ’I probably shouldn’t but, fuck it, yes, i may not get out for a another drink for a very long time’.

I think in the cold light of day he will probably realise his mistake. I hope you can both put it behind you.

Good luck for today. Report back later once your squidgy bundle has arrived!

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