I really dislike listening to next doors parenting!

[DingBatDay]

Next door have a lovely DS same age as my oldest (5yrs). I have 2ds (5 & 3). Both mine are wonderful boys but my goodness do they try my patience. They are very energetic, very boisterous and very full on. I listen to next door talking to their ds and its is constantly wonderful, encouraging, supportive, praise, etc. they can both him him full attention and he thrives on it - he really is a lovely lad. I listen to me and I sound like a screaming banshee. I try so hard to be positive, encouraging, divert around conflict, etc but sometimes they just need the firm boundaries and sometimes that needs to be through my voice. I just think they must think I am awful. This evening we were all playing football in the garden, inevitably DS1 gets over excited kicks it too hard at DS2, Ds2 is a stroppy little lad at the best of times and marches up and punches DS1. DS1 retaliates and this all happens in the 2 seconds I turn around to collet ball. I tried talking it through with them i.e. what happened, how do we make it better - both refused to apologise and so I sent them in to calm down before we resumed playing. all the time I could this idealistic conversation next door as dad and son played football and mum cheered from the side. I am not at all criticising my neighbours, they are a lovely family and I admire their parenting - I just don't know how to maintain that sense of calm with my boys - they'll play wonderfully 90% of the time but there will inevitably be a fight and it is impossible to know when or what! Makes me constantly reflect on myself and find my parenting wanting!

[geekymommy]

The difficulty of dealing with kids goes up faster than linear. I think it goes at least as fast as n^2, possibly exponentially.

[BeMorePanda]

My DC play together like angels. Until they start winding each other, and then they bicker whine and fight till the tears come of course.

[SatsukiKusakabe]

happy2bhomely you sound lovely. I'm not surprised you get compliments on your children. You must be one of those apparitions

isitmeor definitely has it - zen and the art of child maintenance.

[NatureCreatesFreaks]

Ah, I'm so glad I have read this thread well just page 1 actually, it's past midnight and brain hurts
I'm am feeling like a very shit mother at the moment and have been wondering recently why on earth I didn't just stick to 1 child!
I have dc 6&3. They fight & bicker so much. My ds(6) is a lovely kid, so calm & chilled but for some reason loves to wind up his sister, who has the most deafening screech and whinge. She is driving me to despair!
I used to be calm, patient, playful with ds. But now I'm ragged, short fused & tired of the same old thing day in day out. It's genuinelly shit!

[NatureCreatesFreaks]

I've now read thread
I'm going to ignore happy2bhomely's post. Even her username makes me feel shit!

[DingBatDay]

Thanks all, I feel much more normal now. And yes we do have lots of happy moments and there are times when for a brief moment we may even look idealistic!
All three boys do regularly play together which is nice and their son definitely has the ability to hype up. I shall stop feeling rubbish and continuing parenting to the very best of my abilities!

[Highlandfling80]

Op I am you. I have 3 DC and next door have 2. They always seem so together.

[MrsDallowaySaid]

Not sure what my excuse is then, since I only have one, but still am not calm, Zen and devoted...

[MoonlightMedicine]

Thank you for starting this thread OP. Just what I needed at the start of the long summer holidays. 5 year old and 2 year old here so I'm just at the start of the squabbling phase, but they are already expert at it.

[SatsukiKusakabe]

Can I be really boring though and say that Siblings Without Rivalry is a very useful book for dealing with squabbles. It's an easy read and sometimes when I find myself drawn in I remember some of the stuff suggested and it has been helpful. Lots of good advice about how to effectively stay out of their relationship and while still fostering a good relationship between them.

[captainfarrell]

Chin up OP, you sound like you're doing all the right things. I reckon I'm known as the fish wife in my road especially with all the windows open in summer! We laugh, love, shout and make-up, it's life with teenagers for me!

[PersianCatLady]

5 boys here
You must be a special type of person to cope with 5 boys and have such a bright personality (that is how your post comes across).
How old are your boys?