to leave council home and go back to private renting to be near mother with cancer :(

[user1468485204]

Very long story short, we did 10 years worth of private renting ( 6 moves ) before getting a social house on the new affordable market rent scheme.
Our rent is 80% of market rent but obviously it came with the security we never had in private rentals.
We don't love where we live, it's 60 miles from anyone we know and although I am making the best of it, well have been before this last shock, I haven't been happy being this far away from my mother.
We are very close even though I'm in my 30s, she was a single mother until I was 20 and I am an only child.
She adores my children and would love to see more of them.
She can't leave where she is, Bognor Regis as my elderly nan lives there.
My mum has just found out she has skin cancer :(
I want to leave this house and private rent to be near her.
Logically it will be a nightmare, my husband will have to try and transfer, I will have no job, and to top it off my children would have to leave their current school so I would need a year 2 place and a reception place for September.
Am I being unreasonable to do this? My head says yes but my heart says go.

[user1468485204]

Thanks for more replies
My nan is strange and very much of the " have it when I die " ethos
It is in the will to be left to my mum and as an only child my mum has always agreed we will buy together and my husband is fine with that as always been the plan
There is no partner so it would just need to be a 4 bedroom property and she would inherit enough to do that.
It is what I want, I just feel very selfish taking away the first " home " the children have had.
To those saying speak to council etc, this isn't council property, it is a housing trust on the affordable rent scheme so no transfers and no properties in other areas.
The 20% difference isn't noticeable as where we are it still means our rent is £1000 a month, which would be about the same in Bognor Regis now prices seem to have risen dramatically.

[BombadierFritz]

I would absolutely not make any big changes based on a diagnosis of basal cell. If you would move to live near her if she needed a small cyst removed, then fair enough, plan this move, but in all practical ways this is pretty much the same. I know it might sound scary 'carcinoma' and of course if it was left to grow forever it might cause problems but it really is in no way the same as another cancer diagnosis. Thinking of it as something more similar in terms of treatment/outcome like a mole or wart removal migt help. Of course, if you still want to move nearer then that is fine, but dont do it because of a 'cancer' diagnosis

[BombadierFritz]

I hope that doesnt sound callous btw. I am trying to sound reassuring but sometimes it doesnt quite sound right when i read it back.

[MissMargie]

Assuming you will inherit from DGM is wrong. If she develops dementia or something she could be moved to a home and fees use up the money. Or she could, for her own reasons give the money elsewhere, or she could outlive you.
If you think You will be much happier moving do it as DCs need a happy mum.

[user1468485204]

No nothing sounded callous - thankyou for your opinion
I do think I would be much happier overall near my mum and I miss her terribly regardless of this latest shock but I know I would also worry about the instability of housing and the worst case scenario happening whereby we are given notice and physically can't find anywhere and end up having to go homeless

[user1468485204]

Maybe I am being selfish.
I thought u was being quite selfless ;(

[user1468485204]

I not u obviously

[BombadierFritz]

Perhaps you were looking for a reason to move closer? This time it is not serious but it makes you realise parents will not be there forever and if anything bad happened you would want to be close. That makes perfect sense. Maybe you can plan a move in the next few years instead?

[WorldsBiggestGrotbag]

I wouldn't say you're being selfish as such, but certainly not selfless. Your overriding reason is that you want to be closer to your mum. You said that even before the cancer. You miss her and want to be close to her.

[user1468485204]

And that is true.
Before the cancer scare I missed her terribly and wanted to be closer to her.
I just feel very torn as this decision doesn't affect just me, it will affect the children possibly if we have to move again and again.