Cofree shop etiquette

[Turtlemeter]

Firstly I know I'm probably being unreasonable.
Little turtle is a 5 month old nap dodger. I've got him to sleep in the pram and escaped to Costa. This usually works well as the hum of conversation acts like white noise. Snag the last table and get started on toasty ~and chocolate shortbread~ and family sit next to me. The little boy starts hanging over, rattling and kicking the little metal fence between tables. WAKES THE BABY
I've given cats bum mouth to the mum who has noticed and ignored me. IABU to expect that they'd stop they're little boy being so bloody antisocial.
It's my only escape from the house ~prison~ today and I'm fragile with sleep deprivation.
This is such a ridiculous problem I know.

[ineedwine99]

I'm with JassyRadlett
Well said

[ineedwine99]

It's not normal to be allowed to sit there banging and kicking, thats the parents not doing their job of teaching the child the right way to behave in public.

[pearlylum]

The boy sounded like an ill controlled brat and his parent was out of order for allowing him to behave like that.

However in real life this is what happens and to be expected when you are out and about. The world is a harsh place.

[BackforGood]

Indeed Jassey but a small child may still be on that learning curve, and not yet peaked into perfect child.

[SantinoRice]

When DD was a baby, the only way to get her to sleep was walking forEVER. It seemed like whenever I got her to sleep, a bus would drive past & make that SSSSHHH sound, like pressure being released or something. It woke her every time. I was genuinely very close to writing a letter to the bus company. I am so glad I didn't!

YAB a tiny bit U but I sympathise X

[Seryph]

usual it is just parenting, or in my case childcare. I've been looking after toddlers for years and I don't allow this behaviour in public. If a firm warning and an explanation of how we are supposed to behave doesn't work, we leave.
Funny how it almost never comes to that.
Letting your child get away with whatever they want isn't parenting, it's just lazy.

[RiverTam]

I'm with Jassy too, and DD is 6, it's worked so far. It's completely unfair to both other customers and, more importantly, the staff, who can't be expected to grow eyes in their knees and spot all the ankle biters running amok because their parents can't be bothered when they're carrying hot drinks and food.

Most parents I know are similar. I was once out with a dad from school who did nothing to stop his 7 yo from screeching away at the top of his voice in the pub (kid was NT). It was excruciating.

[ShatnersBassoon]

"Child fidgets in café!"

It's not going to raise many eyebrows. Irritating to some, completely unnoticeable to most. He wasn't jabbing the baby with a wooden stirrer, and his parents probably didn't even notice your pram or the baby sleeping in it. It's unfortunate, not a big parenting fail.

[MaisieDotes]

seryph please

Looking after children is not the same as parenting.

[itmustbemyage]

YABU what if another noise had woken your baby and then the other folks in the Costa would have had their peaceful coffee / escape spoiled by crying baby noise. Would you expect them all to give you a look, and would you have apologised to each and every one of them for your baby's behaviour? Or would you have expected them to understand that it is a public place that everyone can share.
Some of them may be parents who have managed to get a little alone time away from their children and would have loved a quiet relaxing time.

[honkinghaddock]

Those who say they will never allow their child to bang- You do know you can't pre order a child without disability don't you?

[ShatnersBassoon]

Op could have said, "Look at the baby, can you see he's sleeping? He looks peaceful doesn't he? Shh, don't wake him, now piss off " to the kid. Sitting there too cross to speak was a bit daft.

[Dairybanrion]

Whaaaaaat?
Sure if course if you go to a coffee shop your baby will wake up. Could be woken by child, loud adult, cups banging etc.
I took the first into coffee shops.....I had a relatively normal life still then when folldeedaw....Ill just have a coffee....then second came along and no way would I have ventured near.
If my first had been woken it'd have been....shit....he's awake....oh well....

Now to be honest is someone glared at me cos I woke their baby I'd be

[SuperFlyHigh]

annoying but you can't do anything about it, i feel your pain though!

Can you go to another cafe nearby (as they all seem to be in a fairly near radius where I live/work??

[MrsCampbellBlack]

Coffee shops are noisy. The people who annoy me most in them are those trying to work or hold meetings who then glare at you when you dare to make any noise.

Coffee shops are not offices or nurseries - they are places where people drink coffee or whatever and maybe socialise.

I do sympathise with the sleep deprivation though and laughed at the OP who was going to write to the bus company Lack of sleep made me very irrational indeed.

[Whiteplate1]

and that would prevent his mum from apologising because...?

she may have special needs