AIBU or is ex re. maintenance?

[NittyNatty]

Ex h and I have been separated for 2 years. We have 3 DC.

He pays £200 maintenance per month. This was settled through the CMS a few months ago.

Prior to this he paid me much less as he wasn't completely honest about his salary when we first worked out maintenance. It turns out he underpaid me by over £1000 which I know I'll never see.

So anyway I had to buy DD's secondary school uniform the other week which came to over £250. He is refusing to go halves and is not responding to my messages.

With big things like this we used to go halves, but he's now refusing.

Aibu or is he?

[Spingroll16]

The maintenance money should cover things like this. YABU!

[LouBlue1507]

I too think OP is BU... Ex has the children more than 40% of the time, pays maintainance and I'm assuming OP is claiming the child benefit? How much more do you think he should have to provide?

I do agree with the comment about buying a uniform and keeping it at your house, let him sort out one for the remainder of the week.. But don't go asking for more money than unreasonable!

[honeysucklejasmine]

I would stop doing his childcare on his night for starters.

[Fourormore]

The OP has already said that doing the "childcare" on his day is her choice.

[VelvetSpoon]

He's paying what he's required to by law. If he has children 3 nights a week he presumably spends money on them while they're with him, has to house them (and himself). If he's anything like the dads I know who make an effort for their kids (not including my Ex who makes no effort/pays no money) he will have had to find a 3 or more bed house to rent - not easy if you are on a relatively low wage - he's not the resident parent so afaik means you don't get HB etc. And buy everything new to furnish a house from scratch.

Where's he meant to get the money from to pay more? He could work longer hours - but that might affect his time with his DC. He could live somewhere cheaper, or get rid of his car (if he has one) - ditto.

If he saw his DC an hour a week/fortnight, never did any overnights, yes make him pay more, because in those circs he could live in a bedsit. But if he's providing a home and paying what CMS say, I don't think you can complain or ask for extra.

And was £250 on uniform really necessary? Appreciate if you've already bought it then the deed is done but I know at my DSs school they tell you to buy everything from the school shop, but actually the only things you need to get there are the blazer and tie as both have school logo. Everything else can be sourced far more cheaply from high st shops. I've never had to spend over £100.

[Fourormore]

I can believe the cost of the uniform. At secondary here it's not just blazer and tie but also trousers/skirts have a logo and all the PE kit has a logo - even the socks! It's just a normal comprehensive/academy, nowhere fancy. Add in some decent school shoes, plus trainers/other special PE footwear and it probably does all add up to about £200-250.

My ex and I have a 50/50 arrangement and it wouldn't have crossed my mind to buy uniform to keep at his house. That's his job.

[Footyfan16]

I am confused by those saying he got off lightly by paying £200 per month.
I get £14 per month for two children, my son is 5ft 9 and takes a size 9 shoe. His £14 doesn't even pay for my children for a day.