to be annoyed at parents attitude

[yessir]

I have started to date a guy and the first question my parents asked was has he got money as I need stability and to not go with somebody who has a dead end job.
Its really upset me and I told them its not all about money.
My dad said in a joking way find out what his bank balance is.
I am really put out by their comments.
I tried to say I want somebody that I like and that makes me happy.
I feel so deflated.

[Pimmmms]

Gosh they're expensive cats. Did you buy them?

I think the money saving ideas are sensible. But firstly you need to identify why you spend like you do. What motivates you?

[Gazelda]

OP do your parents bail you out most/every month?

[RiverTam]

But not entirely untrue, OP. If you're being honest with yourself?

[FuckingMother]

I should imagine that the cats would be rehomed easily as they are in demand breeds. However you need to do it properly through a rescue and ensure they are going to the right, loving home.

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting a solvent partner...however, you aren't one! You need to have a big look at your finances and manage them better. And get your kid involved. If he needs new stuff all the time, he needs to get a job or sell old stuff.

[winewolfhowls]

I agree with baby

[yessir]

That's very rude and out of order baby.

[babynail]

You sound very immature and short-sighted. Your pets and child deserve better. I'm not surprised your parents are disappointed with you.

[Chocolatefudgecake100]

Id tell em to piss off yes its rude small minded and frankly none of there business let them know your offended op

[monkeywithacowface]

Rehome not regime

[monkeywithacowface]

Don't regime your animals sound like you'll do it irresponsibly and then probably get another one on a whim a few months down the line. You don't sound very grown up OP

[RiverTam]

Oh, FFS, that's not the way to go about rehoming an animal. And either you are rehoming them or not, it's not possible rehoming. Do it or don't. But do it properly. Jesus. Animal shelter! A proper ad with all the relevant info.

[yessir]

The animals are a big drain.
Sorry I know its cheeky to ask but is anyone on here willing to take a cat.
I have a Norwegian forest and a mainecoon for possible rehoming.

[user1465823522]

as a parent i can understand the desire to know your kids are with someone who is able to support themselves etc, but I think they could have gone about ti a better way

[HighDataUsage]

This is a fantastic site for helping you manage your finances better.
www.moneysavingexpert.com/

Your parents have got it wrong, you shouldn't be swapping them for your partner to bail you out financially. The issue is your money managing skills or lack of but it's time to take back control for yourself, you'll be a much more appealing girlfriend if you are financially independent. Nobody wants to start dating someone who can't manage their money.

Sort your financial priorities out:
Several animals - reduce to 1 or 2, animals cost money
Teenage son wanting stuff - part time job or sell his old stuff to buy new stuff. Get him to do a car boot sale or ebay his old stuff
Switch supermarkets to aldi/lidl/ cheaper shop & brand
Menu plan to reduce waste
Draw up a budget & stick to it (CAB run money management workshops)
Save for stuff rather than paying for it with a credit card
Make sure your bills are paid for first and then treats with any remaining left overs
Start chipping away at your debt and building up a savings pot
Look for a higher paid job or retrain

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/credit_crunch

[chipmonkey]

What is your son's Dad like? What were your ex-partner's like? If you have a history of dating layabouts who don't pay their way, then your parents may be worried about history repeating itself. Perhaps you could get advice about managing your money? I have teenagers and they are used to hearing me say "no".

[whiteDragon]

I think this has less to do with your BF and more to do with the fact your DPs are pissed off with subbing you

^^ This.

If every month you run out of money - you either need to earn more, budget better or cut back where ever you can - animals would be obvious choice.

Though I do understand with children and constant drain of money. I get tight and they'll grow out of something, or school will want something - but you have to make it work.

[rwilkinson84]

I'm sure new chef guy is fine OP and hopefully is good with money etc. But that's all irrelevant here I think. You seem to be upset I think because your parents used to opportunity to criticise you for not being able to manage your own finances.

Think this is closer to the actual issue rather than the boyfriend. I'd be upset too at the criticism and from your posts above it seems like you're perfectly aware of your situation and sometimes people pointing it out unnecessarily can be a bit of a pain. I think I'd focus on looking at way you can cut back so you're not having to depend on them, or the boyfriend for that matter. It might be a bit tough until you're in a better position financially but in the long run it will be worth it.

[blankmind]

Here you go yessir this should enable you to take a good hard look at where you're not managing your finances as well as you could be. Then you can change.
Show your parents you can take responsibility for yourself. You should never have to rely on anyone else except yourself to manage your own finances.
www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

[BillSykesDog]

I think this has less to do with your BF and more to do with the fact your DPs are pissed off with subbing you.

[RiverTam]

Stop dithering about rehoming your animals and do it, you clearly can't afford them right now. Contact your local rescue centre etc. You have a child you are responsible for, be responsible for him. And stop expecting anyone, parents, partner, whoever, to keep bailing you out. I assume as you have a teenag you are at least in your 30s but you sound like a teenager yourself!

[DonkeyOaty]

Any chance of upping your hours at work or changing jobs in order to increase your income?

[DollyBarton]

Just read the full thread. Sorry about the indignation!

I'm sure new chef guy is fine OP and hopefully is good with money etc. But that's all irrelevant here I think. You seem to be upset I think because your parents used to opportunity to criticise you for not being able to manage your own finances. I'd be upset too but maybe you need to find ways to become independent yourself. I don't know your situation and personality etc enough to give advice on how you do that.

[yessir]

shudder

[yessir]

What you think guys

[yessir]

He actually is a chef and works 7 days a week.