Would you be a bit hurt by this?

[NeedACleverNN]

I am currently bed bound right now. Back and forth to the doctors and a
And e to be diagnosed with a possible inflammation where my ribs meet my spine.

I am on the strongest pain killers they can give me. Morphine patches oramorph, diazepam and naproxen.

Leaving me a bit spaced out so excuse me for any spelling mistakes

My mum run Saturday after I was released from hospital to see how I was. At that point my pain medication wasn't as good as it is now so was still in a lot of pain. Today is weds and she hasn't rung me. Not once. Not even to see how I am coping.

I'm a little bit hurt really. I know I can ring her but I'm not really in the right state of mind to hold a coherent conversation. Even typing on here is....interesting

Would you be feeling a bit hurt or am I being a bit over sensitive

[holdinghands]

Go and see your GP. The waiting list for counsellors varies but you could be waiting at least 6 months or more, so it's best to go asap. You sound as though there's a lot bothering you (I've been there) and it gets worse the older you get. More and more memories come back to you and resentment and anger build the more you think about it. Please get some help now.

[NeedACleverNN]

No I'm not

I ought to really. I need to see someone about my food issues too. I don't like eating

[holdinghands]

Are you seeing a therapist/counsellor? There is obviously a lot going on and it might help to talk to someone about it.

[NeedACleverNN]

In left=in life

[NeedACleverNN]

Thank you.

What's worse is that my sister was a shit growing up. She was aggressive, constantly starting arguments, stealing money whilst i just plodded along and got by in left.

But because I married a man she doesn't approve of and therefore left HER! I am now the black sheep of the family

[holdinghands]

Oh and I meant to give you

[holdinghands]

Your mum sounds like mine. My childhood wasn't ideal (i dont want to go into it too much) but as a child I accepted everything that happened to me and was close to my mum. Now I'm older I see things for how they really were and, if I'm honest, blame my mum for a lot of what happened. This has led to me being outspoken at times and not putting up with any of her "martyr" shit anymore. My sister on the other hand (who left home early so wasn't as affected) is the perfect one. I'm the fuck up.

So I understand your comment that it would be different if it was your sister. I know you'll be feeling hurt (and it's worse when you're lying in bed with nothing to do but think about it) but focus on those that love you and show it. A therapist once told me that you should see yourself as a battery; some people will charge you up and some will drain you. Let go of those that drain you.

YNBU.

[beetroot2]

Yes OP I would feel hurt too.

[NeedACleverNN]

Thank you

[ExtraHotLatteToGo]

That's understandable x. The problem is, you can't make her be the Mum you want or deserve. It's really, really sad, but waiting for her to be that person is just going to hurt you more. Invest yourself in your DH, your kids & your friends and try not to let your Mum & your sister upset you too much. It's hard I know.

[ExtraHotLatteToGo]

💐

Your DH is right, she is EA.

Many people won't read anything other than your OP so I wouldn't pay any heed to replies that say you could phone her or that you're being over sensitive. You're not. You're just waking up to how terribly she treats you. I'm sorry you're doing this at a time when you're least able to do it.

Friends are the family you choose for yourself. If you need help ASK. Good friends are willing to help, they just don't always know what you need.

[NeedACleverNN]

It's taking me a real concious effort to speak at the moment.

Every word just exhausts me

Plus if I ring her it will be 5 seconds of "how are you you need"followed by 30 mins of moaning because a butterfly farted in Brazil which means her entire day is ruined and thus didn't happen in the way it should have done and I just can't handle it right now.

All I want, is for my mum to say I'm sorry to hear you are in pain, I love you and I hope you get well soon. That is it

[Beeziekn33ze]

Sorry you're not getting support from your mother, hope things improve for you 💐

[trafalgargal]

Is there any reason why you can't ring her ?

I can understand someone not ringing in case they disturb your rest ....and wouldn't you normally ring someone on their birthday ......saying happy birthday on FB isn't really the same.

If you are both stubborn and waiting for the other to ring ....it could get out of hand !

[NeedACleverNN]

Thank you..
I guess you are all proving what my dh says
My mum may love me, buts it's all on her terms and her convenience

[Curviest]

In these circumstances (your being bed-bound) I would expect your mother to ring every single day. Even if just for a few moments.

[NeedACleverNN]

I know. I guess the more I talk about it, the more I realise that my childhood wasn't always as happy as i thought.

I spent most of my life (and occasionally still do sometimes) thinking my dad wished I was a boy.

My mum was on anti depressants and off loaded so much of her troubles on me and because she had me so young, I think she resented me slightly for not being able to live her life (she was 18)

On top of that, I was even more tricky because I caught meningitis and was then registered deaf which meant I relied on her a lot more than most kids needed to...

Now i no longer live with her she doesn't have the patience to try and hold a conversation with me and if I try to get involved it's always "never mind you wouldn't hear it anyway" so I end up sitting there looking stupid. Luckily my dh sees it all (he's the one who pointed it out in the first place) and spends most of his time translating everything for me with the patience my mother ought to have

[TooGood2BeFalse]

Not sure why you would want to hear from her OP - she doesn't sound like she'd have anything particularly considerate to say. If you can see she's EA, don't expect anything less,you'really just hurting yourself. and hope you feel better

[NeedACleverNN]

I apologise for spelling mistakes....my painkillers are so strong it's hard to get the right words in the first place

[NeedACleverNN]

Everything does seem to reflect on my mum though.

With my first pregnancy I had SPD so bad I had to use a wheel chair bound. I also had threatened pre term labour at 27 weeks which meant I needed as much bed rest as possible. If I wanted to leave the house I had to go out in a wheel chair.

My mum made me feel so ashamed by it when she found out. It made her look back and it got me sympathy not her. She used to tell people I was just lazy and was putting it on which was why I needed the chair

[NeedACleverNN]

My nan rang me to tell me my mum has done it not my nan*

Thought I ought to make that clear.

[Lordamighty]

They are emotional drains OP. My family are like this, you can't possibly have anything wrong with you because they will have had it but sooooooo much worse.

[NeedACleverNN]

My nan rang me today....funnily enough she's now hurt her back sweeping the floor

[FireTruckOhFireTruck]

As others have said, save your energy for getting better, look after yourself

[NeedACleverNN]

Thank you very much.

My dh has been trying to make me see for years how much she EA me but I've always defended her. I guess it's just starting to dawn on me