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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about DD at baby ballet?

130 replies

justnotaballetmum · 03/06/2016 13:49

DD goes to baby ballet. She concentrates for the first part of the session but then loses focus, wanders off and just dances (after a fashion) by herself. She's not in anyone's way and she's happy (likes the mirrors.)

One of the mums commented to me in quite a pointed manner last week and I'm a bit Hmm about going back now!

AIBU to think she's fine?

OP posts:
NoahVale · 03/06/2016 14:32

dont worry about the other mother, if she enjoys it and the teacher is ok, my dd refused to get off my lap at her babyballet, teacher advised wait til she was older Grin

WeAllHaveWings · 03/06/2016 14:32

I would ask the teacher if its ok and not distracting the class. Ask if she'd rather you left discreetly once dd has reached her limit or if she is fine to wander.

Then don't worry about it and when other mum comments again tell her she's only 2 and you spoke to the teacher and she says it perfectly normal for an inquisitive child to be distracted at this age and its not a problem.

NoahVale · 03/06/2016 14:32

my other dd was told off at music class, at 18 months, for not sitting down, we didnt go back.

Floggingmolly · 03/06/2016 14:33

But he's not there seeing the costumes, you are... Confused. And surely all leotards look alike?

Squiff85 · 03/06/2016 14:34

I think you should be encouraging her to sit down/join in and not let her do whatever she wants

Original poster
justnotaballetmum · 03/06/2016 14:34

'Inquisitive' is one word for it! Grin

I was trying to pin DD down to change her and Other Mum commented that she'd watched her in BB and "she doesn't do as she's told, does she?"

AND her DD is a month younger than mine, I think. Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
justnotaballetmum · 03/06/2016 14:35

Ah, but photos are taken and then he gets to have an adorable little dot as his screensaver not realising the blood and sweat and tears (all mine) it took to get her in it!

OP posts:
Pearlman · 03/06/2016 14:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TendonQueen · 03/06/2016 14:36

Ah, leave her, it doesn't sound like she's doing any harm, and as pp have said, the idea of formal learning for 2yos is daft anyway. Ignore the other mum. Actually, this is another good reason for your DH to take her. My impression is that mums who will freely tut at other mums are for some reason less likely to do the same to dads. How about you alternate weeks with him? I'd be doing the 'but you'd love to see her and you never get to, it's so unfair that I hog it all' line.

LaurieMarlow · 03/06/2016 14:37

Baby ballet is a ridiculous oxymoron and any parent partaking needs a reality check.

The whole point of ballet is the discipline, focus and immense control over the body. None of which are suitable or attainable for a toddler.

Send her to a more free form dance class, where she can develop her musicality and movement in a more relaxed way. Then pick up the ballet later when she's ready for it.

FiddleFigs · 03/06/2016 14:39

I take my 2.5 year old DD to a toddler ballet class. Sometimes she's fully engaged for the whole session (40 mins), other times she wanders off half way and hops about in the corner. The teacher isn't bothered, so I don't let it bother me - so long as she isn't barging around, actively disrupting the class, I leave her to it and try to coax her back after a bit. The one time she kicked off, we left immediately. The only time another parent made a judgey comment to me, I responded with "she's two, leave her alone" and that was that.

TendonQueen · 03/06/2016 14:40

I'd look up at that woman, give her a long, level stare without saying anything, and then go back to whatever I was doing.

MadamDeathstare · 03/06/2016 14:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 03/06/2016 14:46

justnot. My reply probably depends on how much sleep & coffee I've had. Not enough of either right now 😁

I can totally see where you are coming from. I'm like you, if they're not doing any harm/causing others more work etc then I'm not too fussed. It's a bit like slides, I have no issue with them climbing up them, but they're not allowed to when other children are playing on the slide too.

The music classes were just the toddler ones where you sit on the floor with them, instruments are handed out then returned to the box when the teachers comes around. They need to sit on your knee & not wander around etc. Of course, all they really want is to get the instruments out and make an unholy noise with them 😊 One class we stopped going to because the woman would talk for ages & ages, then let them have a two second play, then talk again for ages. Deathly dull. But the next one was better, and the kids got a lot out of it both musically (yes very basic but learnt some stuff) and all of the kids got better at sitting still, bashing in time, handing the instruments back when the teacher asked. Nothing incredible and nothing they wouldn't have learnt at some stage but they enjoyed it, wanted to go, the kids loved meeting up & made friends.

It's slightly different as your DD's ballet teacher doesn't sound fussed - but she might well be if you get some more little ones joining and it all falling apart 😁🙈

If you think your DD is enjoying it, her teacher really doesn't mind & you can honestly say she really isn't distracting the others then 'meh' ignore BalletMother. But get used to it now, the vast majority of 'Ballet Mothers' are un-fucking-bearable 😁 None of the ones on here you understand 💐😊

cosmicglittergirl · 03/06/2016 14:48

I agree with Tendon. What a rude cow.
FWIW, I took my 2.5 year old to a toddler dance class and the teacher said she wasn't ready as she kept wandering. But that's fine for the teacher to say, not another parent.

Idliketobeabutterfly · 03/06/2016 14:49

I tried one session with my son at two. He lost interest quickly so gave up. Tried ballet again at four but gave up again as although he did it and was okay being left he got bullied so no more dance.

sugarapplelane · 03/06/2016 14:51

If she's in her own little world, doing her own thing and not distracting the class then who gives a flying peaches arse what the other parents think!

It sounds like she's a little on the young side and maybe should be at more of a free style class than baby ballet, but that's up to you to decide.

You do learn a lot of discipline in ballet, but only when you're older.

When my DD was 2/3 she was at a general music/dance class. She used to do her own thing and most weeks would end up dancing naked round the room. The teacher was such a free spirit though that she didn't mind one bit and told me that my DD was a kindred spirit so should just dance as freely as she wanted to :-)

hippiedays · 03/06/2016 14:53

I take my two year old go a music class. Many of the kids wander around at some stage, the teacher says it is to be expected.

My older child started ballet at three and a half. It does require some level of concentration. For that reason I wouldn't put a younger child into a class. It isn't energetic enough for them IMO.

sugarapplelane · 03/06/2016 14:54

I agree with Extrehotlatte - most ballet mothers (though not all) are unbearable, but thank goodness I don't need to get too involved as my DD isn't good enough to join the coaching classes or do festivals - mwehhhhh

icanteven · 03/06/2016 14:56

My DD was like that at 2, so we stopped the classes. She was fine at 3.5 and still does it now at 7.

SpeckledFrog2014 · 03/06/2016 14:58

Can't you just comment you don't like restricting her free spirit haha, I doubt that particular mother will speak to you again.

Honestly if your daughter likes the bit she participates in and is happy to stay playing away from the group what's the problem? It's not as though she's going around jumping on the other kids or pushing them. You pay for the sessions just like everyone else and if others have issues they need to follow the complaints procedure set out by the company.

BertrandRussell · 03/06/2016 14:59

She's too young. Take her again when she's 4 if she wants to go.

I am Shock about you taking her because your husband wants her to go but won't take her! That is awful!

NewLife4Me · 03/06/2016 15:01

I think 2.5 was the youngest dd dance school would allow and they had to be dry too, no nappies.
It will distract other children if yours can't focus and the dance teacher will allow a certain amount of time to settle and then ask you to leave and return when child is older.
it's a learned discipline and waiting a while won't harm, in fact may increase her interest.
Perhaps as your dh likes it so much he should be the one taking her and getting the looks.
No matter what my dh said if it wasn't happening dd wouldn't be going.

oldlaundbooth · 03/06/2016 15:22

Tried to take my two year old DS to baby gymnastics.

He literally screamed and clung to me like a frightened monkey whilst the other little poppets danced about in their leotards.

Will be a while before we try paid sports! No point forcing him.

He's better off at the park with a bucket and spade.

Scaredycat3000 · 03/06/2016 15:28

I agree with Extrahot's posts.
It's not fair on the other families who are also paying wasting their hard earned cash. Until your daughter can ether join in or sit nicely during the class she's not ready and you will be causing problems for others. My dc are naturally quite well behaved so lucky , until they see others being allowed to misbehave, we then have to stop enjoying ourselves whilst I continually remind them that yes that child maybe not be doing the right thing, it doesn't mean they can copy. I don't think the parent has ever noticed, they're usually staring at their child self indulgently about how cute they are or some other bollocks.

Or the other Mum was just being an arse, less likely though.