I have a 7 year old DD who is very sporty. She has already completed the 7 main swimming stages and is on level 9. There was a talent scout from a local swim club (very very successful ) at their lesson last week and I received an email today inviting her to train with their performance squad so she can compete when she's 8.
BUT - she doesn't want to. She enjoys swimming but really only does it because I say she has to go weekly (I can hardly swim myself and want better for both my children) She's also not 8 until next year. The main concern is that she will have to train 4 times a week and - due to the times - will have to give up Brownies and gymnastics. She also has a pony that she rides evenings and weekends and will have to cut back on that. She doesn't want to give up the things she loves.
AIBU to agree that she needn't take this swimming opportunity? She is so young and I would rather she had enjoyment and fun in her activities. Or am I ruining chances of her progressing a long way in the future by turning this down and will she resent me later??
AIBU?
To say no to daughters opportunity
LittleReindeerwithcloggson · 31/05/2016 23:47
The main concern is that she will have to train 4 times a week
No, the main concern is that she doesn't want to. 
This is a no brainer. She sounds like she already does an awful lot.
DD3 is a fantastic dancer. She was doing ballet, tap and modern from the age of 3 as she saw her older sisters doing it and adored it all. She was better than her sisters, she excelled at it and flew through all her exams with top grades and was the apple of the eyes of the teachers.
Fast forward to age 9 and she announces she couldn't be arsed with it all any more. (not in those words but you know what i mean). So i told her teachers she was giving up and they were horrified. Asked me to get her to reconsider, asked her themselves, ect. Nope - she'd just had enough.
A year later she says she misses it all and wants to go back. Teachers all totally delighted; bend over backwards getting her into appropriate classes, ect. She does it for another year, flies through another set of exams ... and leaves again! 
Embarrassing for me, more hand wringing from the teachers. One of them seemed to think i should be forcing her to carry on. God knows how? She wanted to have a lie in in the mornings at the weekends and see her mates more often after school. What can you do? There's no point in forcing a child to do anything.
One of my DCs was national level at chess when he was young and had an offer to be mentored by one of the top players in the country who presumably thought my DC had potential. We had a meeting where the guy explained how much my DC would have to practice - well, it was a short meeting. 
DC thanked the guy and said it wasn't for him. He wanted to stick to spending his time playing sport even though he is decidedly average at sport. I backed my son 100% with his decision.
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