To think something is wrong here?

[seeingflags]

I recently began a relationship with a man overseas (within Europe). Things were seemingly fine at first, and aside from a few small issues that needed clearing up my first visit went swimmingly,
In the time between my first and second visit a lot of discrepancies in stories I had been told and information available popped up and it has been difficult to get to the bottom of situations. After some online snooping to try and find the truth I thought I had the full story. fast forward to my second visit and he wasn't as emotionally available as he'd previously been, he seemed withdrawn and was hiding his phone away.
Since I've come back to the UK more lies and arguments have been happening and every time I have been promised honesty from now on there has been yet another problem.
Breaking point came today when he messaged me telling me he thinks we should break up, and when I agreed and gave no fight he turned the tables on me and told me I needed to forgive him while he changed for the better and once again promised me complete honesty.
Sorry for the super long post but I'm at a loss for what to do. I want to believe there may be hope, as there is love on my side, but I'd like some opinions of others to gauge whether I'm wearing rose tinted glasses or whether my concern that there will be no change is well placed.

Sorry for the essay.

[Katie0705]

Seeingflags...you did make me laugh, and you are most welcome 😄 It's one of my 'more polite' sayings!!

[mrsfuzzy]

sounds like a visa, or british passport job, poss already married/in a relationship. cut loose and don't be played for a mug, you deserve better.

[DailyMailFodder]

That good that you have got shot of the toe-rag (I love that word too!)

Make sure you delete any means of you being able to contact him and him being able to contact you.

There is no need to have any more discussions with him whatsoever. and he will probably be onto his next victim/conquest soon enough anyway

Give yourself some time and don't rush into another relationship too soon if ever .

[MyDobbygotgivenasock]

The hard decision in the short term but good for you, and it'll hopefully feel it soon too.
You deserve much better treatment than crumbs today on the promise of jam tomorrow, especially as it looks like you'd be paying for the bloody jam.
Unfortunately love itself is not enough. Top marks for looking after yourself, treat yourself well and expect others to treat you well, you will only benefit from believing in your worth.
A lesson I wish I had learned a fair few years before I did. A few years and a couple of miserable relationships. I'm glad you've got the sense I didn't have

[seeingflags]

Katie0705
Thank you.
Also missing point I haven't heard toe rag since I was a kid. Thank you for making my day.

[Katie0705]

Leopards don't change their spots. Get away from him now, and find some you can genuinely trust. You are worth and deserve much more than some lying toe-rag. Best of luck

[manicinsomniac]

Well done, good decision.

He's seeking out women from other countries online to date ... statistically, he's not going to be the most stable and reliable of people! You're well rid.

[AdjustableWench]

Oops, sorry - I type too slowly!
Good decision. And better luck next time.

[AdjustableWench]

Dishonesty at the beginning of a relationship is one of the biggest red flags there can be. That and outright aggression. It won't get any better or easier. There are plenty of other men who are kind, honest and decent. Stop wasting your time on an arsehole.

[seeingflags]

Thank you all for the advice. I've taken on board the opinions of you all (which seeing as you are all of the same opinion says so much to me), and have ended the relationship.

[blankmind]

seeingflags what advice would you give to someone in a new relationship who had said the following things to you?

" aside from a few small issues that needed clearing up "
" a lot of discrepancies in stories I had been told and information available popped up and it has been difficult to get to the bottom of situations"
" he wasn't as emotionally available as he'd previously been, he seemed withdrawn and was hiding his phone away."
" more lies and arguments have been happening and every time I have been promised honesty from now on there has been yet another problem."
"Breaking point came today when he messaged me telling me he thinks we should break up, and when I agreed and gave no fight he turned the tables on me and told me I needed to forgive him while he changed for the better and once again promised me complete honesty."

You'd tell them to run for the hills, wouldn't you?

[Iknownuffink]

Op you know what you have to do.

Block all contact with him on all social media, phone, email.

Look upon it as a lesson learned.

[OydNeverDeclinesGin]

I read the OP only

DUMP.

A new relationship should be fun and exciting. Save your energy for someone who is worth it.

[MyDobbygotgivenasock]

Really?
Save yourself a lot of aggro and being mugged off and ditch the manipulative, lying, long distance cheat.
Then recalibrate your bullshitometer so you don't accept such behaviour in the future, let alone decide you love the person doing it. Self respect, keep it high.

[seeingflags]

booklooker Deep down yes, but I didn't want my heart to stop me for once. I needed someone rational to confirm.

[DailyMailFodder]

Oh dear, he sounds like a chancer/scammer.

OP, have you given him any money or presents?

Why on earth would you pursue a relationship with someone who as lied to you and that you argue with? That seems crazy . I'd rather be single.

If I were you I'd delete all his contact details and block his number, email and Facebook accounts etc etc

[MardyGrave]

In the kindest possible way, don't continue to make a fool of yourself.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

" I want to believe there may be hope, as there is love on my side, but I'd like some opinions of others to gauge whether I'm wearing rose tinted glasses or whether my concern that there will be no change is well placed."
Those glasses are so rose-tinted I'm surprised you can see through them at all. And frankly the love on your side is not love, it is infatuation with a dash of excitement. It's an easy mistake to make.

Walk away, there's already been lies, arguments and blatant attempts to manipulate you (which he backtracked on immediately when it didn't work). This is a new relationship, it shouldn't be this much work!

[bridgetoc]

LDR...... Why bother! Ditch this loser and find someone local!

[booklooker]

run for the hills.

But then you know that already, don't you?

[seeingflags]

Iknownuffink
I'm financially stable enough to have a very small place of my own.
He is 6 years younger, and I'm not sure about the VISA although lately he has been dropping more and more comments about us living together in the near future.

[Iknownuffink]

Are you financially stable?

Is he younger than you?

Does he need a visa?

[seeingflags]

19lottie82 It looks like he wasn't entirely faithful in between my visits, and has a history of cheating, but there's nothing I can find to indicate he was actually seeing someone else when we began our relationship.
Sorry to drip feed, I just didn't want to make a ridiculously long post full of potentially irrelevant information.

[BoffinMum]

Totally run, you deserve more than this nonsense.

[beetroot2]

In a nutshell, your in some sort of long distance relationship-ish with a cheat. Why do that to yourself?