highchair etiquette?

[PonyPals]

I went to a local cafe with my 6 months old. I ordered a coffee and then put my DS into a highchair and gave him toys to play with. About 2 min later a woman comes up to me and asks if she can have the chair as she needs it to feed her child. The thing is she wasn't polite but quite abrupt. I was annoyed and said that she can have it once I have finished using it. She then ranted for ages about how my DS was using it only to play with his toys and her child is now STARVING because of me.
I got up and grabbed my DS and asked for my coffee to go.
I am now kicking my self for giving in or should have I just handed it over in the first place?

[seeyounearertime]

She sounds like a fruit cake McWingnut who the hell asks a mother who's using a high chair to take her child out of the high chair so they could use it? mental... absolutely bonkers.

Should have told her to stick it OP and then taken an extra long time to drink your coffee and catch up with FB and MN etc.

[Blowninonabreeze]

interesting DeadGood, Thank you. I'm definitely a pleaser, often to my detriment. I'm consciously trying not to pass this on to my children but fear I often fail!

[herecomethepotatoes]

You were unreasonable to leave. "Fuck off dick head" would have been my measured response after her rude reply.

High chairs are used to contain children, not only feed them, and it's first come first served.

[PonyPals]

Thanks everyone for your replies! I'm just going to put the incident out of my mind

[DeadGood]

Blownin you remain as you are. Your husband is right. That family came in to the restaurant knowing the situation. It makes everything awkward and unnecessary if people start falling over themselves to offer assistance that hasn't been asked for. The staff are there for that purpose and do what they can to make everyone comfortable. It sets a weird precedent of other diners are suddenly leaping up and passing high chairs around the place and disrupting their children and other diners in the process.

[Blowninonabreeze]

I've had a different highchair dilemma recently.

DD3 is 2.5 Still uses a tripp trapp at home and in a cafe, I'll use a high chair to get her to the right height at the table, easier for her to eat etc. Plus she's contained.

However obviously she's capable of sitting on a normal chair albeit she has to kneel to reach the table.

Recently in a restaurant, eating lunch and a family come in with an approx 10 month old. We're halfway through our meal, everyone settled etc. I suggest to DH that we need to relinquish the highchair to this second family. He disagrees. Thankfully the only other high chair in the restaurant becomes free during this discussion, but it got me thinking, WWYD in that situation.

[Pollyputhtekettleon]

YANBU. High chairs are not for just feeding in, they are for your child to be able to sit at the table. I am quite polite and helpful to people and might have offered it to another mum if it looked like she needed to feed hers and I was able to take my baby on my lap without spelling coffee on them but otherwise I feel it's quite reasonable to keep a playing baby in one, at the table, and safe from my food and drink being grabbed and thrown.

[honkinghaddock]

First come, first served. We used highchairs for containment as well as eating - lots of cafes have no buggies at tables policy and ds wouldn't sit on our laps. If a highchair was essential because we had to eat, we took a portable one.

[minipie]

YANBU at all.

If I take my baby somewhere hoping to feed her and there are no highchairs free, I think "oh dear". I don't look round the room to see whose baby is not eating and demand their highchair - it wouldn't occur to me to do so.

What I do object to is adults who take up seats in cafes long after they have finished their drink/meal when there are other people waiting to sit down and eat or drink.

[Artandco]

I wouldn't have left. First come first use. A baby doesn't need to be in a high chair to eat, what would she have done if the cafe had no highchairs at all?

I often used a highchair like you did. We rarely used a pram as stairs to flat/ on tube it's awkward so just took baby out in sling. If in restaurant or cafe and a highchair we would pop by in there whilst we drank hot drink or ate sometimes so hands free 15 mins. But obviously if none avaliable they had to just sit on our lap/ or next to if a sofa type chair

[SouthDownsSunshine]

YANBU. It would never occur to me to give up a highchair in this instance. If she had asked really nicely, then maybe. But what were you supposed to do with your dc whilst you had a hot drink?

[imwithspud]

YANBU. First come first served, you were drinking a hot drink and a high chair was the safest place for your baby. She could have sat her child on her knee to feed or simply waited until one became available like any other normal person would.

[Bear2014]

She sounds a bit ridiculous, we used to regularly go to places with no high chairs available and just feed DD in her buggy/on our laps. I would probably have given it to her if she was nice though.

[FuzzyOwl]

I would have given her the chair but I think how she went about asking for it was rude.

[PonyPals]

The cafe has 4 and they were being used. Usually I would have just left DS in the pram but I was going shopping so was going to get a trolley from a supermarket.
She was just so pushy. I understand that she wanted the chair but I would have never done what she did and would have just waited for one to be free.
I like the idea of throwing coffee on her (kidding - kind of)!

[pictish]

SWBU, it's first come first served. I'd have dismissed her and carried on doing my own thing with the high chair.

[ollieplimsoles]

Yes was being very rude, you were using it first.

When I first started breastfeeding in public I used to get annoyed at the people sitting in the 'hidden' areas with sofas at costa, because the only seats left would be those high chairs in the middle of the room or near the window.

She can't plan her day around circumstances she can't control. What if all the hairchairs were taken with kids eating in them?


She was taking the piss, I wouldn't have moved my child.

[Wdigin2this]

Did they only have the one?

[RedToothBrush]

You do not need a high chair to feed a baby.

She's rude and needs to get out more and learn to cope without one.

[KatharinaRosalie]

YANBU. It's safer to feed a baby sitting on your knee than to drink hot coffee with a baby on your knee. First come first served.

[VioletBam]

I would never even think to look what someone else's child was doing in a highchair! She was rude.

[leelu66]

YANBU. Why do people give into such arseholes?

[NeedACleverNN]

I've been in that position.

There was three high chairs. All being used. Two babies were eating in them, one was just sitting there watching those eat.

We was about to sit down and eat. Did I ask for one of the chairs? Nope. I sat my child on my knee whilst I waited for one to become free.

As soon as it was free, the staff bought it straight over.

[Nanunanu]

*eat sat down

[DeadGood]

Actually Unicow I can't get over how weird you are being about this.

How exactly do you imagine a parent on their own should manage to drink a hot drink with a 6-month-old in tow? Sit them in their lap and hope they don't lunge for the coffee? Put them on the floor? Hand them to the nearest stranger and ask them to hold them?