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AIBU?

Aibu to expect party guests not to bring uninvited friends?

37 replies

Mummyme1987 · 08/05/2016 23:39

Aibu? I haven't thrown a party for an adult for many years. So I'm not sure what is the norm now. So invited 100 odd guests 60 rsvped, the rest didn't even bother. Tried Facebook event thing so all they had to do is click a button, still most didn't bother. I think that's very rude, but is this the way of things now? Also had two guests turn up with someone we didn't know, that also wasn't their partner (they had their partner and kids there). One didn't even come at the same time as the invited guest. Just walked in an hour later. I was a bit Shock. I am so out of date but in my party days you replied and didn't invite guests yourself. I asked the person whose party it was if they knew who it was, they didn't, they went over and they got introduced. I wanted to ask them to leave but my dh said leave it. About 10 people just turned up without rsvping. Am I just a dinosaur? Or am I right to think it's rude?

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Mummyme1987 · 09/05/2016 00:45

we didn't announce it on Facebook on our profiles, it was a private event that only the invited people could see. If we had publi ally announced it on fb then it would have been expected that unwanted would turn up. But that's not what happened.

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SilverBirchWithout · 09/05/2016 00:47

I think FB events are like a general information sharing of an event that's happening, why not come along? Not a formal thing IMO. People just usually decide on the day whether they are going.

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Mummyme1987 · 09/05/2016 00:48

You couldn't even share it as it can only be seen my the named invited guests. I'm glad that I'm not the only one that thinks it is rude. Not Mexican house rude but at the low end of the scale. I think rsvping has had its day now sadly.

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Mummyme1987 · 09/05/2016 00:50

They all had paper posted invites too. So very formal.

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Mummyme1987 · 09/05/2016 00:52

We just used the fb to try to remind people to rsvp

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Givenuponstarbucks · 09/05/2016 01:15

You can't stress about this. It's just what happens. We've had a few parties...been to a few...and just have to estimate numbers. People are unreliable in large numbers! Even the ones that RSVP yes may not appear.

Plus I always say the more the merrier. The unexpected guests took the place of the no shows :-) It is a bit rude not to check that could bring someone but if you didn't state it was catered they probably just thought it was a few drinks in a bar.

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SilverBirchWithout · 09/05/2016 11:00

Oh sorry, I didn't realise his was one of those AIBUs where the OP is not really wondering whether they are being unreasonable feeling peeved. Hmm

You can think whatever you like, that is your prerogative. However I still maintain that by creating a FB invite, it created the impression that people could bring friends if they wished. I'm currently invited to 3 or 4 FB events and looking closely at all of them it still feels to me that the invitation could extend to other family or friends if I so wished.

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whois · 09/05/2016 11:04

Not RSVPing and turnign up is a bit annoying but nicer to se them than to now probably. YOu have to relay chase people up -"I'm going the food order next week so pelase RSVP" "Food is ordered per head and I'm doing the food order in 3 days, please RSVP" "Doing the food order tomorrow, last chance to RSVP people, love to see you there"

Bringing random friends without asking = strange. I'd be annoyed.

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Jackie0 · 09/05/2016 11:21

That would drive me batty!
Very rude IMO and people are just becoming more selfish in general.
I've really scaled back on entertaining big groups , small is the way to go

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Mummyme1987 · 09/05/2016 11:21

I probably wouldn't be as upset if I hadn't had to pay for them. One of the people who brought a friend is one of the people that doesn't have Facebook (older person), so only had a paper invitation asking for rsvping. Although I didn't say on it it was catered I did ask for allergies or veggies to let me know. I'm just going to have to suck it up and come to the conclusion that some people are rude.

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Mummyme1987 · 09/05/2016 11:30

I'm not sure why it's upset me as much as it has. It was a stress doing the party, i ended up in a & e on Friday with my dd so it was stress all round. I don't think I'll bother doing parties again. I'm obviously too sensitive.

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Mummyme1987 · 09/05/2016 11:32

Last party I threw was 11 years ago, might leave it that long again!

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