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AIBU?

son who is 9's diary entry. advice pls

119 replies

StephoooH · 08/05/2016 23:29

Hi. Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this. I was googling and came across a post on here about bullying and seemed to be in the right spot but then I saw what the site was about and thought it would actually be good to ask about the actual situation.

My son is 9 sorry about the writing far too lazy to type all out!

I found this on his draw next to his bed which is where all his current stuff he uses is and he has denied all knowledge! But his face was like an absolute tomato. I have promised that I'm always here for him etc etc but he still denies. It's sad to se my little man wrote that :( I can't just leave it, surely?? Help

son who is 9's diary entry. advice pls

OP posts:

Report

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 09/05/2016 06:49

He definitely wrote it for you, he even wrote that he wished his mum knew.

Agree his teacher is the first way to go - hopefully he or she can help sort this out, both by focussing with the whole class on the topic of bullying without being specific, and by keeping a more specific eye on the "boy called Jack" and on what's going on around your son.

The "ginger" thing is so weird - I was reading the Jamie Johnson football series to my nearly 9 year old son (The Kick Off is the first one, if your boy is into football and might enjoy a book with a main character who has similar hair colour and issues around it, though the book is 90% about football) and the main character gets teased by the bully character for being ginger - DS1 just didn't get it, he's never come across anyone teasing anyone over a specific hair colour (all sorts of other things, but not hair colour), there are plenty of red heads here, though perhaps fewer than in the UK... I wonder why on earth it is a thing in the UK and other Anglophile countries... very odd...

s88 · 09/05/2016 06:51

This is so heartbreaking . Your poor little boy .

Straight down the school , they need to be making moves with these bullies !!!

ApocalypseSlough · 09/05/2016 06:57

Do take it into school but also praise him for writing it down and for working out ways of dealing with his feelings. Say to him, 'that writing was so sad but it's such a good idea to write this down when you're sad and I loved the way you looked forward to tomorrow at the end.'
for you both.

Janeymoo50 · 09/05/2016 07:00

I had a lump in my throat reading that.

You know now, of course he'll deny it, bless his heart.

Speak with the school.

WellErrr · 09/05/2016 07:01

I'm glad you've found it and can now help him, but please report your pictures.

Posting your son's diary entry and photo online is really not nice.

MooseyMoo · 09/05/2016 07:19

Could you start a notebook which you both write notes to one another and leave it in a place ie under pillow when you've written something.

CocktailQueen · 09/05/2016 07:45

Kids can be horrible. If it's not about being ginger, it's about wearing specs/being overweight/skinny/having freckles/liking the wrong football team/being crap at sports.

Sounds like you have to boost your wee boy's self esteem. Def take the note in to the teacher and ask her for an action plan.

Does he usually enjoy school and have friends?

1frenchfoodie · 09/05/2016 07:58

Poor lad, hope school takes this seriously. And I know this is nit the pount but what beautiful hair!

1frenchfoodie · 09/05/2016 07:59

That should read 'not the point' (blame sleep deprived baby brain)

NameChangeMum456 · 09/05/2016 08:07

My DD finds talking about certain things difficult, so I encourage her to write it down on paper and give it to me if she feels it would help her communicate why she feels how she does. I think you shouldn't feel bad that he couldn't speak directly to you, and it really does look like he wrote that note because he wants you to know about how he feels. I would encourage him to continue writing if it helps and tell him it's a really smart way to think about/deal with feelings and that you are proud of him too. He sounds like he needs a little boost. I bought DD a little diary specifically for it and now get little notes all the time from her.

Next step is talking to the school about it and perhaps some talks about bullying and why it happens, how to deal with it and how he could approach you about it in future.

Fannyupcrutch · 09/05/2016 08:11

As a fellow ginger my heart goes out to your little one. Children can be so bloody heartless but so can adults. I am 37 years old and STILL have to put up with ginger jokes. I have no idea why people think it is socially acceptable to do this, it pisses me off no end. I am from a family of gingers and I make damn sure that I boost their confidence as much as possible so they survive this. Show him pictures of the famous gingers.......Ed Sheeran, Damien Lewis, Seth Green, Rupert Grint. His hair colour will never hold him back, it sets him aside as one of the chosen few. Then make damn sure he knows that these children are teasing him because they are jealous. He has rare colouring and he stands out from them because of his beautiful locks.

Make sure the teacher knows that as far as you are concerned this is form of bullying is as bad as racism. He is being mocked because of his hair and skin colour and you will go to the governors if it's not dealt with.

KittyWindbag · 09/05/2016 08:16

you must go in to school about it. When I was very little I was bullied at school and even when my mum asked me outright I denied it for ages, even though it was eating me up, because I felt so ashamed.

Your poor little boy. I second following the route of 'how come Ed Sheeran and Adele are so popular, if nobody likes ginger hair?'

Some stupid adult has made a dumb comment along the way and it's been absorbed by that kid. I hope this gets dealt with quickly ad efficiently. Your boy's hair is gorgeous, and his heart is sweet and brave.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 09/05/2016 08:25

no you cant, and the good thing is that schools address this a lot better these days thanks to god

I am suee this will get sortedxx

timelytess · 09/05/2016 08:36

I'd like you to kiss every 'ginger' hair on his little head. Daily. And go into school about the bullying.

Red hair is beautiful.

OzzieFem · 09/05/2016 08:37

What a gorgeous mop of hair. Prince Harry is a ginger and he is very well liked, and look what good he has done with his charitable works. Probably the bully is jealous that they just have a nondescript hair colour.

Your son should be proud of his hair colour.

pudcat · 09/05/2016 08:44

He has very good handwriting for a 9 year old. Why does he not use joined up writing, which is national standard? Just wondering. Well fuckiemcfuckface shall we all find something else to beat the poor lad with when he is being bullied?
OP I hope you have said something to the school today. It is devastating to be bullied and teased because of red hair. I and my granddaughter know only too well. I would have thought that times had moved on since my childhood but sadly no. Please help him.

Jinglebells99 · 09/05/2016 08:48

I just feel uncomfortable about you posting his private diary and his photo even with a blanked out face on the Internet for everyone to see. I think it makes it identifying and I would be horrified if anyone posted my private diary online, however old I was .

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 09/05/2016 08:53

Jinglebells99, agree. OP maybe ask MN to assist on that issue for his sake?

Cantusethatname · 09/05/2016 08:54

One of my sons is ginger. When he started Y7 he was being bullied "kick a ginger day" and all that stuff. I was devastated.
I haven't got any tips about how the school sorted it because his older brother Y11 wouldn't let me ring the school. Instead he walked past the kid who was doing it at the bus stop and booted him hard in the shins, and the whole thing stopped.
Sorry I haven't any better advice, but my heart is hurting for him.
Your son is gorgeous, like mine and Prince Harry.

gingergenie · 09/05/2016 08:55

I'm ginger and I had all this and more growing up. People (adults and children) are horrible. Tell him that everyone loves ed sheeran snd Ron weasley who are some the gingerest gingers going. Then take the note to school and get them to sort it. Live and hugs for your sad boy x

BeautyQueenFromMars · 09/05/2016 09:03

Oh the poor little love. I want to give him a big massive hug myself!

I won't add to the excellent advice on here, as you've said you'll speak to the school. I just wanted to suggest you tell him that at least one person (me) has spent a large portion of their life trying to dye their hair ginger/red, as it's a beautiful and interesting colour. I would have loved to have been born with his colour hair.

I know it doesn't stop the bullies, but it might go a teeny tiny way to making him feel better about himself. And he can reply that his hair makes him as cool as Prince Harry/Ed Sheeran, as others have suggested.

Mouseinahole · 09/05/2016 09:10

He is a little star to have found this way to share how he feels. His hair is absolutely beautiful. Are there other red heads in school? Definitely go in to school this morning and show the Head and if possible his teacher. Do not leave the diary with them.

Cagliostro · 09/05/2016 09:15

Poor lad :( it makes me so sick that this kind of bullying seems to be taken less seriously than others. I just don't get it.

Hope the teacher takes it seriously.

NerrSnerr · 09/05/2016 09:18

I agree with the posters who have asked you to report your picture. I would be livid if a family member posted my diary on the Internet, especially with a fairly identifiable picture.

CoraPirbright · 09/05/2016 09:24

OMG that hair is heart-stoppingly gorgeous!! Good luck with the teacher today - i hope they tackle it well.

If Tom Hiddleston lands the job, the next James Bond could well be a divine red head!! Plus other awesome people in the public eye - Ron Weasley, Prince Harry, Damian Lewis, Jessica Chastain, Bryce Dallas Howard, Ed Sheeran - all gorgeous and talented and wonderfully red-headed

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