DD is 8 and generally very well behaved and very good with her siblings. However, if she does something wrong she always denies it and tries to turn things around to evoke sympathy for her. She has never ever accepted blame or apologised for anything.
As an example: today her and her 4 year old sister were playing in the play house in the garden. I was in the house but popped to the car to get something so could hear them without them knowing.
Dd8: sit on that chair and pretend you're reading.
Dd4: no thank you, I'm just sorting this.
Dd8: if you don't do as I say then you can get out of my house.
Dd4: but I don't want to sit down right now.
Dd8: right, get out then and I don't want to be your friend or play with you for the rest of the day.
[Dd4 starts to sob]
Dd8: baby! Baby! Get out get out get out get out...
[Dd4 wailing]
I go to back garden and ask what's wrong. Dd8 says Dd4 was annoyed there wasn't enough space so she asked if she'd like to do what she's doing outside. I ask Dd4, too, but she's inconsolable and doesn't grass her sister up anyway. I explain that I heard Dd8 speaking very unkindly to her sister and before I even finish my sentence she shrieks 'I wasn't!!' and starts wailing twice as loudly as her sister.
I tend to Dd4 and when Dd8 calms down I say that if she has made a mistake, it doesn't help matters to be dishonest about it, just scream and cry and not talk about it and to never apologise for her actions. I say I'd have much more respect for her and we could just move on if she just admitted fault and apologised to her sister. She maintains she doesn't need to apologise because she didn't do anything wrong. I pointed out that she's never apologised to anyone for anything, so does that mean she's never done anything wrong? She just shrugged and tried changing the subject and being super chatty and nice to her sister and I like she always does if she's in the wrong.
Does anyone else have a child who behaves like this? How do you deal with them?
AIBU?
to ask how you deal with a child that never accepts blame?
LissaLoves · 24/04/2016 23:35
Lougle
i never forced an apology from because i learnt with him that he needed to go away and think about and you would get a genuine heartfelt apology.
My dd in the other hand would say sorry and carryon doing what she was doing .
She once got a form certificate (funny ones given out at end of term) for the "girl who is always saying sorry" teacher would tell her off for talking , she would say sorry,then she would carry on talking.
Now i would much rather my ds sorry an hour latter , than my dds insincere one.
If she's following you put her back where she's supposed to be and warn her if she doesn't stay put there'll be an additional consequence. Each time she lies (including denying lying) consequence.
It's interesting, my daughter and one of her wee gang have 'the strictest parents in the world' 
we all 3 will not tolerate lying and lying getsbthe worst consequences, the other 3 don't, guess which ones get in more bother...and not just lying? Honesty is the basis of good behaviour.
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