AIBU to refuse to wash DH's nasty stinky handkerchiefs?

[SuperMumNot]

DH has always used handkerchiefs and I've always hated them - nasty, unhygienic wrinkled things .

He always has one in his pocket and at bedtime he transfers it to under his pillow (boak...)

He's a sniffling sort of person - always blowing his nose loudly (usually when I'm trying to talk to him, which also annoys me!)

I've tried to convince him to use tissues, but he won't.

He used to stick them in the laundry basket with the whites until one day, when I was ironing a nice linen white blouse of mine I noticed that there were bits of sticky green snot on it, which had obviously been transferred in the wash (more boak...)

Since then I've told him that he has to keep them separate and wash them himself at 60c/90c and they are not going in the family wash since lots of the rest of the washing gets done at 30c/40c as it's not really dirty, just used.
I've also said I'm not touching them - taking them out of pockets, or retrieving them from under the pillow!
I wouldn't expect him to collect/handle my used tissues, so I'm not sure why this is any different?

Now he's started putting them in with a coloured wash of his own at weekends, but is always making snide remarks about how 'petty' I am being.

AIBU?

[Groupie123]

DH does the family washing & has been known to hand scrub my period stained knickers (I have heavy periods and am practically useless during). I also wash his snotty handkerchiefs (he has severe hayfever that requires steroids). I think if you love someone you will want to take care of them & do think it's petty what you're doing. Petty Stuff like this can ruin a marriage long term.

[Tofutti]

OP, let him do all his own washing, not just the coloureds.

Does he do his share if housework?

[BuzzKillington]

OMG - hankies. Beyond disgusting. When I met my dh, his mum used to boil hid dad's hankies in a saucepan! I was nearly sick.

Tissues are the only way to go - and they should be thrown away after each use. I have a friend who blows her nose and then puts the tissue up her sleeve to use again. It's then all I can think about - that snot filled thing in her sleeve.

[RhiWrites]

I do. It's much more sustainable than tissues. Use once and wash. I think they've made a comeback.

[Aquamarine1029]

Is your husband 100 years old? Who the fuck uses handkerchiefs anymore?? Gag.

[user1486156729]

On my wedding day, my mother told me that I should soak his snotty handkerchiefs in salt water, because it cuts the slime.
I still feel weak thinking about their marriage.

[SuperMumNot]

Larry - the perfect solution.

Just for the record:

• I'm not squeamish about it/bodily fluids
  
• it's not that I can't think of a myriad of ways to actually hygienically do it (and thanks for all the extra offered here!)
  

It's just that I think it's disrespectful of DH to expect me to in the first place!
Nabootique seems to have had similar experiences wrt green slime - perhaps some DHs have some kind of super-snot which defies normal washing!!

[LarrytheCucumber]

I boiled DH's hankies in a special saucepan for years. Then slowly, one by one, they disappeared . He uses tissues now.

[partialderivative]

It's not just snot though is it? What about the bogies? They won't dissolve.

Why not? Do you really think they are made of bones? (Like my mum told me)

[Forgetmenotblue]

Cotton hankies used a lot in our family. I chuck them in a bucket with some washing up liquid and pour over a kettle of boiling water. Leave overnight and chuck in with the rest of the washing (40deg for everything, fast wash) in the morning. Has always worked. Do same with period knickers (cold water though, for blood). I'm not squeamish about bodily fluids.

Snot and blood has never transferred to other items.

[Waxlyrically]

I love proper hankies and can't understand how they can cause offence to anyone. Much better for the environment and so much kinder on a sore nose. I do wash my own though.

[Nabootique]

Hankies seem to spark the same extremes of reaction on MN that flannels do...

[Nabootique]

I haven't RTFT, but I do washing for someone who uses them. They used to just put them in the wash covered in dry snot which, during the course of washing, would rehydrate into slime and stick to fucking everything. I can see StepAways's approach working and will try it in future.

[StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes]

cotton hankies all the way here, if I or DH have a particularly rotten cold then I prewash the hankies as a job lot then straight in the main wash, never had an issue. environmentally better than tissues, and nicer than a sleeve neither of are particularly snotty though unless its a cold, mine is more likely used for wiping tears (I cry at anything) so mascara is usually the worst thing I have to deal with.

[AliciaMayEmory]

For those who are amazed that I should consider it an issue, I'm equally amazed that there are still so many women around who are domestic slaves for their husbands!

I call straw man.

[OOAOML]

I wash my husband's clothes, he washes the dishes, neither of us are a skivvy.

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

Cleaning a shitty loo left by someone else is nothing like bunging a dirty piece of washing in the washing machine when you are putting a wash on .

[VulcanWoman]

If he wasn't moaning about you not washing his hankies it would be something else, you stick to your guns, stay strong!

[SuperMumNot]

Machine machine is fairly new and works fine thanks .
It's just that I tend not to wash everything at 90c, and as Grapejuice says, it's not just a 'snot stain' it's hard, dried green bogeys which perhaps don't completely disappear.

Anyway, this wasn't really meant to be a thread about HOW to wash them, it was more of a WHY should DH think I should even have to wash them in the first place?

For those who are amazed that I should consider it an issue, I'm equally amazed that there are still so many women around who are domestic slaves for their husbands!

Similarly, I wouldn't be happy about:

• DH or DCs leaving a shitty loo and expecting me to clean it
  
• cleaning up toe or fingernail clippings
  
• being expected to clean DH's shaver
  

Doesn't seem like just a 'me' thing - there are lots of other YANBU posters on this thread!

[Vintage45]

It sounds like it's a you thing. It wouldn't bother me.

[Grapejuicerocks]

It's not just snot though is it? What about the bogies? They won't dissolve.

The PP above who said they went in with tea towels. Urrgh.

[partialderivative]

Surely your washer must be pretty crap if it can't deal with a simple snot stain?

I don't think the problem lies with him, loads of people put used hankies in the wash without a 2nd thought.

How do you feel about washable nappies?

[shamonts]

anything totally rank - ie gloves covered in horse piss, yes that happens in our house - go in the sink next to the washing machine NEVER in the laundry basket

the hankies sound revolting but I suppose more environmentally friendly than tissues