to wish there was something I could've done for these children?

[SashaFierce99]

Today I was waiting for a train with my DC. A couple of women were also waiting with a twin pushchair that had a boy and girl in of about two years old. The girl was asleep and had three bruises on her face, she was wearing just a t shirt, thin trousers and no shoes or socks. The boy was wearing the same and his nose, face and arms were bright red - he looked frozen. We were waiti for half hour and they didn't speak to him once. He stared into the middle distance and they occasionally threw a crisp into his pushchair and laughed at him scrabbling to find it He too had several visible bruises.

The other day I saw a mum grabbing her child by the scruff of her neck in the supermarket car park. In the park a few weeks ago I found a three year old wandering alone heading towards the road and when I found the mum she pulled his trousers down and smacked him for running off.

Today's incident really makes me want to cry. If they can be that awful to him in public, I hate to imagine his home life. Aibu to wish there was something you could do to help children in these sorts of situations?

[hollyisalovelyname]

OP ignore those saying you are judgey.
So what.
Those poor children - If people don't speak out/ act things won't change for the children.
I don't know what you could have done though.
Alerting station staff perhaps.

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

If you felt intimidated by the women with twins - how do you think a 2 year old feels?

A call to the police will enable them to do their job - help or remove - that's not your decision - but so many people think it's not their job to report -

[mygrandchildrenrock]

A call to the police about the children in the buggy, especially in the conditions you describe to us, freezing cold and inadequately dressed, would have prompted some action. An anonymous call would have meant you didn't need to get any more involved than that.
Safeguarding children is everyone's business. A phone call costs nothing.
Neglect is a criteria for child protection to kick in, it's up there with physical abuse, emotional abuse and sexual abuse.

[OvariesBeforeBrovaries]

As others have said, it's possible that the kids point blank refuse socks, shoes and coats. Not outside the realm of possibility.

Bruises aren't always a sign of abuse.

However I think all combined could be reason to voice your concerns - if you had a name, or a firm description. Hopefully if there is abuse happening, they're already on the radar of organisations.

[Lynnm63]

Bruises or a lack of shoes are not necessarily abuse. My ds a twin had a bruise in the middle of his forehead for around a month, every time it healed he'd bang it again. i was convinced ss were going to come round. Eldest ds managed to lose at least one shoe or sock or at least it felt like it on every outing. I tended to carry spare socks in my pocket. He hates a coat even now but as he's taller than me I'm sure no ones judging me now when he walks round with a t-shirt in the middle of winter.
However all of those things along with the crisps would have rung alarm bells.

[charlieandlola]

They could have literally walked out of a DV situation in the clothes they were in indoors

The bruises may not have been inflicted by the mum
maybe she took her one chance to get out
Maybe a kind word would have been appreciated

[maydancer]

I thought bruises on the foreheads of young children of a young child is usually regarded as accidental occurring when a tot stumbles and falls forwards

[blackheartsgirl]

My dd3 was a sock refuser and hated her coat on in the buggy, she used to scream and scream and get really distressed. We used to tuck a thick blanket round her but she used to kick that off too. She used to have the odd bruise on her head cos she was a clumsy little bugger and was always tripping over her feet or walking into the door, the stares we used to get, it was mortifying. If anyone had come up to me and challenged me on the lack of appropriate winter clothing they would have got a right earful and then I would have gone home and cried.

[Alexa444]

The second two I can't really judge on tbf. You don't know the circumstances. The smack is something my mum would have done to me if running off was a major thing and although I would consider it last resort, it will hurt him a lot less than a car will! Scruffing the kid? What was he doing beforehand? I once babysat kids that I would think nothing of doing this to because if I didn't they would end up getting hurt. They used to fight terribly and a couple of times it resulted in a trip to hospital if no one was close enough to physically and forcefully intervene.

[MoonDuke]

My 2 scrabble around for crisps because they love them and rarely have them. They are both skinny too despite eating loads (they take after DH lucky things)

Bruises are common at that age.

The thing that would catch my attention would be lack of socks but only because I don't have sock/shoe refusers.

[Lj8893]

Some may argue I am living in poverty at the moment, I'm really saddened to think that people will be judging my financial situation as a means of abusing/neglecting my child

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

Ask any respectable abuse specialist if domestic abuse is more usual in poor areas.

I would be surprised if they answered anything other than, no we just detect it more.

Same as children. I often see well off parents dressing their kids in ways or doing/not doing things that if the same occured with a far more visible far more radar detected poor parent then they would end up in a list of issues.

However I'm very surprised that this op apparently sees these things so frequently and they are so dreadfully upsetting to her that she does nothing at all. It makes me wonder if a fair bit of differing standards is involved combined with a unhealthy dose of not giving a shit.

[maydancer]

Ask any respectable abuse specialist if domestic abuse is more usual in poor areas.

I would be surprised if they answered anything other than, no we just detect it more

that defies logic! How can they know how much abuse is happening in an area if they can't 'detect' it?

My dd3 was a sock refuser and hated her coat on in the buggy, she used to scream and scream and get really distressed. We used to tuck a thick blanket round her but she used to kick that off too.
and wouldn't the girl have woken up if she were that cold!