Re soft play...

[FrasierCranium]

Do most parents find they come out of the soft play with sky high blood pressure?? Or is it just me??

My daughter has not long turned 1 and she's a teeny wee thing. I find it difficult to think of stuff to do with her when the weather is bad. She's at a stage where she's too young for loads of stuff but gets quite fed up with a day in the house.

There is a soft play centre not far from here. It's big, and it has a lovely little cordoned off area for babies and toddlers under 2. DD loves it and as she's just learning to stand/walk unsupported it's great for her to practice.

However, I am absolutely sick to the back bloody teeth of parents allowing older children into this area. There are signs everywhere saying that kids over two (including older brothers and sisters) should not be in this area, but no one ever says or does anything. There are two huge areas for kids from 2-4, as well as another massive area for everyone else so it's not like there is nowhere else for them to go.

Today we were in there with one other mum and baby. Then a group of girls (I'd say they were about 4, I would guess starting school in August) ran riot through the baby area. They jumped around, stood on all the stuff, throwing the big bits of soft play "furniture" around, they chucked the balls out of the ball pit etc. No idea who they were with, didn't seem to be a parent in charge anyway. I took DD out for some water as I didn't feel she was safe in there with them. I took her back in when they had gone but they just kept coming back in. They were climbing the netting to get in.

This seems to happen every time we're there and it is so bloody frustrating. I can live with the odd older sibling who comes in with a younger one and is strictly supervised by a parent. Nothing is ever enforced. Aside from the safety aspect, they're ruining all the stuff. I have also experienced older kids trying to lift my DD up out of the ball pool to play with her, which I don't like.

Would I be unreasonable and pfb to complain to the centre? I'm not a complainer, and I hate confrontation, but this winds me up no end. However, I know I get anxious about DD being safe so if I am being pfb then I can accept that and try to let it wash over me.

[Johnny5isAlive]

I'm actually surprised that 6+ yr olds are still going to soft play. I think by that age mine would have found it a bit 'young'

[SalemSaberhagen]

This thread just reminds me of why I hate softplay. Never again!

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

6 year olds find soft play too young? or is it just that sitting with an ipad is a lot less hassle for you and they can be so much more sophisticated

My teenagers would still be in the soft play having fun and getting exercise if they hadn't been too tall by age 9/10

[Lurkedforever1]

Must be pretty crappy small ones if age 6+ don't fancy it. There's at least two I'd happily play in myself. My dd is 12 and will happily still go with my friends with young dc, under the guise of 'helping' and being able to follow the toddler round when it's crowded. As did my friends oldest dd when mine was small. The description of just helping fools nobody.

[elfycat]

Our local soft play goes up to age 12 and I'm sure I've seen slightly older children on there. It's also big enough for parents , some of whom are keen. The rules for parents are: no joining in at weekend and in school holidays.

In the summer they open an extra hall with go-carts, bouncy castles, soft ball firing area (good fun for adults and my DDs like staying until nearly closing and tidying up loose balls), ball kicking areas and a large small-kid inflatable area.

I'm already setting DD1 (soon to be 7yo) for when she's too old. Last year she was too tall for Alton Towers area. 'Sorry you are too old' said the staff.
'Tall' I said. 'She's only just 6 and I can see 8 yos in there'. I pointed out all the rides she could go on because of her height and sent her on the RoundaboutSwingThing mushroom ride that her height allowed her to go on.

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

Ours technically went to age 12 too but they weren't keen on having a 5'8" 10 stone 12 year old in there and I don't blame them. There is also one opened up that allows 14 year olds but again 14 year old DS2 is over 6 foot and 13 stone and DS1 is 15 just but is 6'3" and the same weight. Both are probably more considerate than younger kids but I wouldn't want one of them slipping and falling onto a smaller child.

[Johnny5isAlive]

onemagnum no mine would've definitely preferred prefer playing football or being out on their bikes.

[honkinghaddock]

Ds used to go into the younger children's bit till he was about 6 because a lot of the older children's was too difficult for him. I always took him out of the baby bit if there was a baby wanting to use it.
I think not allowing adults on with children is wrong because it means children like my son wouldn't be able to go to soft play. It should be OK at any time as long as the adult is supervising and not charging about with their child.

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

Mine don't do football and we live in Scotland so it rains a lot.

[PuppyMonkey]

Small Kids in Throwing Stuff Around and Having Fun at Soft Play Shocker

[ShamefulPlaceMarker]

Yeah my 6yr old has out grown them too. He doesn't have a tablet. We tend to go out on bikes or swimming or to local aquarium instead. My 2yr old chooses aquarium over soft play every time!
They're too much hassle, I cba with other people's kids, tje coffee's usually crap and you can never drink it all, and the food it massively over priced considering it's just oven chips and sandwiches!

[ExplodingCarrots]

I saw someone up thread say they wouldn't approach a parent. I absolutely would / did if their child was being dangerous. Few weeks back a boy around the age of 7 (he could have been older) was in an area for under 2s and he was targeting very small , only just walking kids. He was picking them up by the scruff of the neck and throwing them .

One parent tried to tell him to stop but you could tell she was nervous about it. His mum was too busy chatting to her friend. He grabbed my DD on the arm and attempted to throw her down the slide (she's only 2) but luckily she's a bit fiesty and told him to stop it with a death stare

My blood was boiling at this point so I removed DD and went up to the mum and politely ...honest said can you please remove your son from the babies area as he's being very rough and throwing babies to the floor. Her response ? 'He's looking after his sister'

Luckily we don't go to soft play often. My nerves can't take it. We go for lots of walks down the park, beach or local farm.

[NeverNic]

Perhaps I didn't elaborate enough, but your child's safety is your responsibility. I don't think relying on other parents to properly supervise interactions with your child is sensible. You are your own child's advocate. I don't have any legal responsibility for your child's welfare, only my own. Obviously I personally do make sure that my children share, play nicely and are cautious and in an ideal world that's exactly how every parent would be but as op and pp have said, many find this isn't the case. It gets a bit lord of the flies in soft play! If you are worried about how they are playing you need to say something to the children, the parents or the staff, or just take your child away. I've lost count of the amount of times I've seen parents lose it at soft play because their child has got hurt, but theyve let their child play in a dangerous area (like the bottom of the slide or bounce on a trampoline with a bigger child) and it becomes someone elses fault. I just wouldn't take a first child of that age to soft play full stop. My second child is a little older than yours, but he's used to playing with stronger, older children and you get over the shock of them being squashed when their older sibling spends half the day rolling on them!

[NeverNic]

Actually just read my original post, and I have phrased it completely wrong. It is my responsibility to make sure that my children play safely so apologies for writing that. What I meant to was you can't rely on parents ensuring that your child is safe.

[blobbityblob]

I loathed them but the dc loved them. Even at toddler groups you have to watch constantly those under three really, to keep others from pushing them over or poking them in the eye or something. The worst injury mine had was at an NCT coffee morning in somebody's house.

It's irritating when you have a small one and the bigger dc come in. But when your's gets bigger, you'll find they're wanting to run off through the equipment with their friends and you can tell them 1000 times, don't go in the baby bit but some will. Equally it's so annoying for them when somebody brings a baby/toddler onto the older bit and the parent is asking them not to charge about in case they hurt the baby. Or there's one lurking at the bottom of the slide in the older bit in everybody's way, with a parent asking everyone else to mind out. As such you've just got to watch your dc and keep them out of harms way. And with an older dc you keep repeating, don't go in the baby bit, don't climb up the slide, move from the bottom of the slide quickly and don't do anything stupid. You can't see them 100% of the time because they're tearing through. All you can do is keep trying to spot them.

I found with a baby though if I went mid week whilst the older ones were at school, it's a bit quieter and easier. But generally I'd sit next to mine until she was at least 3 years old. And anyone who tried to pick her up would be told "no, don't do that".

But it happens in every soft play up and down the country. If the centre can't afford a staff member to stand there permanently and monitor it, complaining will make little difference I think.

[BathshebaDarkstone]

ShamefulPlaceMarker what if your older DC is invited to a party at a soft play centre and you don't have child care for your younger DC.

[TheOptimisticPessimist]

As an ex soft play staff member Id just speak to the staff. IMO parents get more confrontational if they find out their DCs were approached by another parent, whereas if the staff members say something (even though I was only 17) they were more likely to accept it.

We also had a tannoy so would do general announcements (reminder that the baby area was for under 3s, don't climb up the slides etc) because there was cctv that could be viewed from the reception desk and covered the whole of the frame so you may want to ask if they have something similar.

[Ironfloor]

Definitely complain to the staff. I'm not sure why you haven't already done so, as you have seen this happen several times. If there are clear signs asking older kids not to enter, it's the staff's responsibility to ensure the rules are followed.

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

what if your older DC is invited to a party at a soft play centre and you don't have child care for your younger DC.

It is the responsibility of the party organiser to ensure that there is supervision for the children attending the party. You either drop and go or take your younger children to the younger part or agree with the party organiser that you will provide her with extra supervision by being there with all your children.

[TheWordOfBagheera]

My soft play pet peevs (other than all the stuff already mentioned) are:

1. Parents sending their kids in with shoes on so that an accidental tread on someone else's fingers becomes an injury.
   
   
2. Parents sending their children in with a sneaky drink/snack instead actually watching them and taking them out when they need something. Drink/snack inevitably gets half chewed then abanded somewhere for another child to pick up. My 1yo found a carton of manjo juice in a ball pall last week. She only got one suck out of it before I whisked it away, but bleugh.

[lylasmam2012]

Measured my 3.5 year old DD yesterday and she's 110cm, which is the average for a 5 year old! She's very gentle, not a bit rough and doesn't like rough children. I do get some looks if I bring her into the under 4's section.

[ShamefulPlaceMarker]

Then I'd let him go bathshe but he's 6 so most likely the party if for a 5-8yr old so I would expect to be hanging around. I'd drop and go.

[ShamefulPlaceMarker]

Wouldn't wouldn't!

[BathshebaDarkstone]

Yes OneMagnum that's exactly what I used to do, my question was directed at ShamefulPlaceMarker who seemed to think that I could just avoid soft play centres altogether.

[BathshebaDarkstone]

ShamefulPlaceMarker my DS was 1 when DD was invited to a party at a soft play centre, drop and go wasn't an option as it would have meant 4 bus rides or hanging around Putney for 3 hours.