To be quite impressed re the 'self defence' advice dd was given at school today.

[NorthernLurker]

Dd is in her last year at school and today in their personal and social education type slot they had a class that they all enjoyed enormously and which has rather impressed me.
Basically the head of sixth form turns out to be very experienced at martial arts and on the basis of feedback from students re preparing for life beyond school, he has run a class for the last few years just giving them some very basic self defence tips.
Dd said more than half what he talked about was prevention, advising the lads in particular to walk away, not get involved in aggro and yes that did also involve advising specifically the girls to be careful where they walked alone, which from a 'reclaim the night' type pov is a bit grating because the problem with that scenario isn't what the girls are doing. He redeemed himself entirely though when showing them how you might break the hold somebody has on your wrist. He said something to the effect that 'now if that's your partner or your boyfriend and it could well be, then that's a sign you need to get rid pronto'
I have already spoken at length to both my big dds about DV and red flags but I am just so pleased that all the girls in that class heard that message today from somebody they like and respect. A clear and unequivocal message that abuse is not ok and they can see the first signs and act. I think that it's no exaggeration to say that with just those few minutes today he could have saved somebody in that room so much distress and helped them help other people too.
I knew very little about DV until I was at university and involved in womens campaigns. My school would never have equipped me and my peers like that. AIBU to be really pleased they've covered this.

[wintersocks]

Great thread. I've got a small personal alarm which is a keyring. To activate it you have to pull it off the keyring. It's never gone off by mistake and is very reassuring to hold if out at night. I think I got it on amazon

[ABetaDad1]

ulucky83 - yes hold the keys in your hand in your pocket. Don't give someone following you a signal that you have the keys in your hand.

Good point about walking up to a house with lights on and ringing the bell. Attackers look for easy targets.

I never walk behind a woman in the dark. I walk on the other side of the road and try to walk a bit quicker so I get ahead of her and she can see me.

I know a few men who do it but boys should be told. TBH I don't much like men walking behind in the dark when no one else is around. What I do if they don't cross the road is cross the road myself. That allows me to turn and keep an eye on them and once I have crossed the road I sometimes walk back on, myself into an area with more people around.

[lorelei9]

Winter, like this? www.amazon.co.uk/Minder-PAL003-Personal-Attack-Purple/dp/B008VT0L4W?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21#productDetails

[buddy79]

I've been followed home once (which was very, very scary) and been cornered up against a wall by a man saying "I want to f**k you" etc, the first was late at night, the second broad daylight, actually on my way to work in the morning, but on a road that was busy with cars but no other pedestrians in sight. I wasn't forced into a physical situation either time - first time I ran for it (!), second time I reached into my bag for my phone and he just ran away. I have done some self defence training through work and felt pretty confident that some of this would have come back to me if needed, so it is really important this is being shared in schools and really good to hear. I was also glad to have a) a working phone, and b) be wearing clothes I could run in. I look young for my age and I'm pretty sure both men would have assumed I was a teenager at the time. I think the idea of "don't be a lady" is a great one to remember.

[wintersocks]

lorelei yes similar - I think mine is the 'mighty safe' one as it doesn't have a separate pull cord you just pull it off the keyring to make the noise. It's small-ish so is fine as a keyring (and very loud!)