to not know what to do about my eating habits or my weight?

[FeedMyFaceWithJaffaCakes]

Hello everyone.
Posted this a couple of places, as really need advice.
I have tried SW (slimming world) three a few times and failed every single time.
I'm quite fat. 5'4 and (I haven't the nerve to get on the scales) but probably about the top end of the 12stones...
I think the reason I'm failing is because I don't eat very much, is in I eat little potions of good and healthy food. Even though some of it like chicken, tuna jacket potatoes, leafy salad and avocado I love. I just don't always feel hungry. Sometimes I go days without eating anything, especially If I'm tired/stressed/anxious (delete as appropriate!) I enjoy big meals if I go out (to somewhere like nandos approx. Once a week) and will always have three courses if there's something I fancy if we go to a pub (that's probably more like once a month though)
I've never ever eaten breakfast, I leave the house at 6.15am every morning and the idea of eating then makes me feel physically ill. I'm sure I don't drink enough either.
I love chocolate and biscuits and cake and can easily eat a share bag of malteasers to myself.
I don't do any exercise at all and I hate all forms of exercise, except swimming which I do quite like.
I'm a nurse so I do spend all day on my feet but I'm not really sure that counts!!
So really, I'm just asking, do you think I should try SW again?
Or is there another diet healthy eating plan that might be more effective?
I know I need to do something, but I'm not sure of the most effective solution.
Because I can't go on like this.
I want to look beautiful in my wedding dress. 

[sleepwhenidie]

I agree that breakfast isn't necessary for everyone...but, in cases like yours Jaffacakes, where your eating pattern is erratic and involves a lot of rubbish, I think it is good to force yourself into a regular routine for a period (a few weeks at least) with nutrient dense meals, in order to get back in touch with true hunger. Once you recognise this again, you can listen to it and if you don't feel like breakfast, adjust accordingly. It is sort of like soothing your body into a more relaxed state, rather than existing in a state of low level stress because your body doesn't know when you will next eat or whether it will be what you really need...in which situation its response is to downgrade your metabolism and store fat for survival - in line with your concerns about not eating enough yet not losing weight . You may be eating plenty of calories, that doesn't mean your body has enough nutrition.

[YohY]

I think it's more about delaying breakfast like till 11am as this is when the hunger really starts to kick in the. If you have lunch say 2 hours later you almost end up feeling quite full most of the day so you might actually end up consuming less calories??

I do this for my low calorie days and seems to work

[BabyGanoush]

I would try to eat like an average person,

instead of the famine ("going days without for") or feast (3 courses at Nando's) mentality.

Have breakfast (toast or cereal or egg or fruit or any combination of these), have lunch (sandwich and fruit, or salad with lots of stuff in or baked potato) and dinner (nice hot meal containing 2 types of veg at least). Puddings only when out or at weekend, occasional chocolate bar or biscuit.

Then it becomes habit and you don't have this exhausting boredom of having to think about what you eat all the time.

Also, go for walks as much as possible, and swims

It's maybe a bit boring, not glam or exciting, and it does contain carbs al over the place but it's how lots of normal weight people eat.

[FeedMyFaceWithJaffaCakes]

Today I have eaten:
"Breakfast" at 11.15 of overnight oats, oats, milk, berries and a honey Greek yoghurt.
"Lunch" at 3pm of Heinz tomato cuppa soup, and naked bar.
Dinner will be at 7.30pm and will be left over stir fry and Angel slice with 150ml Coke and a cup of tea

[toffeeboffin]

Good work OP.

Try and add some fruit or more veg and maybe some protein with lunch i.e. hard boiled egg.

[fancyfreeandstayingthatway]

I strongly recommend you try the free My FitnessPal.com. It is eye opening. It teaches portion control by showing you how many calories are in the amount of each food at each meal you are eating.

Slimming world can be confusing as it encourages people to eat lots of so called free foods, but that doesn't help those of us who binge out of boredom or stress. SW gives you the food balances and menus, but not the portion sizes.

I have eaten what I thought was a healthy well balanced diet for years, no added sugar, loads of fruit and fat free yogurt, very little meat and cheese, plenty of veg, no processed foods, and still I am fat. Why? because on my bad days I have been binging on "healthy" foods - a whole large pot of fat free yogurt with added honey on my dessert spoon. or whole punnets of grapes or unweighed amounts of rice or buckwheat ....or 6 bananas in a day...sometimes whole packets of nuts or dates or figs .. and it all adds up, and how.. (not binging like this every day but obviously often enough to make me 1 1/2 stones overweight)

When I started to record these binge/healthy foods on myfitnesspal, I was so shocked at the amount of calories I have been eating. No wonder.....
.All became clear in an instant. Even my favourite, healthy microwaved fresh salmon with lemon juice, was high in calories at the amount I was eating.

So now before or immediately after every mealtime I record my meal on FitnessPal to watch my portion sizes, and my meals are based on the balance of foods advocated by Slimming world. The combination of SW and myfitness pal is working for me.

Do try it. It is really really helpful, it is educational, it is interesting.
I think if I persist with it, it will help me change my life.
It also gives you the breakdown of sugars, carbohydrates etc in each food which I expect, as a nurse, you will be interested in.

Another thing that works for me is to never allow highly calorific items into the house. I know I have no self control, so for example, no cakes, no hard cheese, no cream, are allowed through the door, and only one bag of nuts, one punnet of grapes, per week in the shopping basket.

The other thing SW teaches is to prepare meal plans and for snacks in advance so when you're tired, you have the right thing to immediately to hand. eg a salad or a chunky soup made in advance will fill you up, and when you have a craving for sugar, eat melon or a Satsuma, or a sweet bell pepper (for sweetness and when you really really need to crunch something). Your palate will adjust and after a while you'll find those cakes unbearably sweet and claggy.

I have also found this Jan, that exercising (group dance classes are great fun) makes me energised and pleasantly tired, and takes up time and gets rid of my stress, so I have less time to be bored and I don't need to binge or comfort eat.
Hope some of this helps.

[YohY]

Fancyfreeandstayingthatway Amen!

[FeedMyFaceWithJaffaCakes]

I am finally home from the worst shift of nursing career.
I ate what I said I would... ----
I've fallen off the wagon a bit in the last ten minutes since I've been home and ate four fox's Viennese biscuits and a hot chocolate made with real chocolate

[SmillasSenseOfSnow]

Chalk it up to a bad day and try again tomorrow, OP. I suspect what you really need to do is to separate emotions from food entirely (as do most of us). No rewarding yourself with food, but similarly, drop the guilt. It's just food. Guilt won't help anything.

[SmillasSenseOfSnow]

PS Get some digital food scales and use MFP religiously. I've lost 9.5 kg in 6 (inconsistent) months and am about to crank up the effort again to lose 5-10 more. You will crack it eventually if you commit and work on the way you think about food. I allow myself junk whenever I want it. I just have to deal with being hungry for half the day or going over my limit because of it. That's my choice to make.

[FeedMyFaceWithJaffaCakes]

Ps. Am using MFP from three days ago.
But using this thread too for general encouragement and support.
:)

[fancyfreeandstayingthatway]

Been there and done that,
sorry for your horrid shift,

Make it easy for yourself. Just be firm with yourself and DO NOT BUY biscuits or chocolate, this is very easy at the checkout stage, when laying out the food on the conveyor belt, or on the online basket, have a really good look, and chuck out the bad stuff, then move fast if you can and pay quickly and get out of there.

I will be flamed for saying this but what the hell, in the spirit of trying to help OP - what has also really helped me on garage forecourts - where I had a habit of buying chocolate or crisps when paying for my petrol, (I excused myself by telling myself it was a reward for my stress, poor little me, I deserve that chocolate) (but no, I don't deserve that chocolate and its effects, I deserve better than that, I deserve a lovely slim silhouette, I want the world to see that tiny little size 10 me who is somewhere buried deep inside me) I secretly look for someone the same size or bigger than me, and there is always someone very nearby, and I tell myself I don't want to be like that, and yes go on I'm an MN judgey pants yes, but for me, IT WORKS, in that moment, at that vulnerable moment, it stops me buying the chocolate and crisps. So just try it. Don't look at the beautiful slim woman nearby, look at the overweight ones, and tell yourself you don't need those biscuits and get rid of them.

Yes I find it frustrating when I am desperate for a binge, and there is NOTHING appropriate in the house, so I CAN'T BINGE WHEN I WANT TO, yes it is so so frustrating...... and I am SO GLAD afterwards.

[FeedMyFaceWithJaffaCakes]

Good morning everyone,
Today is another day! Turns out even with my tripping off the wagon yesterday, I was still under the 2000 kcal mark, so I'm pleased.
Today's eating plan is to be:

-Granola and hot milk
-Prawns with avocado hummus and crackerbread, salad w. boiled egg.

• Tomato cuppa soup, a slice of toast, Angel slice, 150ml coke.

I'm on another late today, on an early tomorrow and then driving to Scotland after my early. I think the weekend will probably be a write-off, but we'll see how we go. Just because I'm away/out doesn't mean I can't make healthy choices. I need to remember that
Hope you're all well this morning

[SmillasSenseOfSnow]

Well done FeedMyFace. Once you've lost enough to feel that you look a bit better naked, it should give you a huge boost of reinforcement, I know it did for me. It's just a matter of pushing to get to that point!

I find that throwing a huge chunk of salad items (mixed lettuce/carrot/cabbage from a bag, cucumber, tomato) into meals really fills me up. Helps to have a tasty salad dressing (just 1-1.5 tbsp!). It's crazy seeing 1/3 of the plate contain e.g. 350 kcals (the main 'thing' from the freezer, generally, e.g. chicken en croute) and the other 2/3 contain all of about 25 kcals, with 50 kcals of dressing added.

[FeedMyFaceWithJaffaCakes]

I've been very brave and was weighed on the way to work.
Here is the result.
12st 7lb

[beardsrock]

Ok, Jaffa, that's not too bad.

How much are you aiming to lose?

'Just because I'm away/out doesn't mean I can't make healthy choices'

Take your own advice for the weekend - i.e. salad with a burger instead of chips, slimline tonic and vodka instead of beer. Share a pudding, don't have one to yourself.

Enjoy Bonnie Scotland!

[JessicasRabbit]

Hi OP, I've done loads of diets over the years and reached a stable, healthy weight about a year ago. What I found helps on holidays is keeping up the food diary. It helped me to know what I was eating so that my choices were truly informed choices rather than brushing it under the carpet. I'm no angel, but managed to limit Christmas / New Year weight gain to 3lb where in previous years it would have been twice that.

[FeedMyFaceWithJaffaCakes]

Hello everyone.
Today went a little bit wrong. I have eaten, but not all that much it seems.
Here we are.
Missed out on my "breakfast" of granola and hot milk because I was faffing about getting ready to go to Scotland tomorrow.
Had a quickie break at 3pm, Couldn't decide what to do about lunch, whether to eat my avocado now or later, ended up faffing about I should of had my soup here. But felt so judged by everyone, I ended up eating my naked bar and my angel slice with a cup of tea.
Had my proper dinner break at half seven and ate my avocado, prawns with a little h/m Marie Rose sauce, and crackerbread and Coke. Throughly enjoyed it.
Came home and have had two fox's biscuits and a cup of tea.

Not my best day, but okayish.

Have tapped it all into MFP and it's not enough calories in a day.
Never mind, will try harder tomorrow.
I'm on an early with work and then driving to Scotland straight after.
It's going to be a looooonggggggg day.

[SmillasSenseOfSnow]

Who did you feel judged by, OP? Colleagues? You need to tell yourself that at least half the people you meet will have no bloody clue how to lose weight, and that actually successful weight loss programmes often draw snide comments (or at least sceptical attitudes). The problem is that when it works, the snidey people are just going to awkwardly shut up rather than get over themselves to congratulate you, for the most part. So just ignore!

[SmillasSenseOfSnow]

Just saw the 'not enough calories' thing. Remember that in reality it's not neat 24 hour intervals. It allows you to feel ok about going a bit over on one day and under on the next.

[FeedMyFaceWithJaffaCakes]

Hello,

Today is going to be a funny day.
I'm on an early so just a cup of tea this morning.
I have soup and bread and some jelly and fruit packed for lunch (a small miracle in itself)
And when I get to Scotland at about 10.30pm tonight I suspect dear OP will have sorted a takeaway (after 8 hours driving after work I don't want to be cooking!)
I'm not going to be thinking too much about what I eat this weekend, (I'm going to help DP move out of his flat and down to me after five years apart!) i'm expecting lots of treats as haven't seen him since Christmas but I will still confess all on my thread, don't flame me too hard
X

[FeedMyFaceWithJaffaCakes]

I'm home from my long weekend away.
Here are my food confessions.
Here's what I ate.
Friday: KFC. (& 385 miles on the motorway after an early shift)
Saturday: got up at 1.30pm, went for lunch at pizza express with DP (we shared everything except pudding) dough balls doppio, pollo forza and I had chocolate glory. Two cokes and an appletiser. I had nothing else cus I was sooooo stuffed.
Sunday: got up earlier today: fried breakfast, latte, and at nandos- a line and mango chicken breast with a portion of peri peri chips. One Coke. Four white chocolate mikados and four dime bar mikados. Cup of tea.
Today so far: large skinny chai latte and cinnamon bun (& 385 miles on the motorway)

Please cleanse me of my sins, I'm ready to be healthy again this week!
Will post my shopping list & menu plan soon