To realise I've been entitled and ignorant Re: maternity leave

[AliceScarlett]

I've had this idea in my mind that when I eventually went on maternity leave that DH and I would have less money (obviously), but that it would be OK overall. "Everyone" appears to have children and they manage it! But I worked it out roughly last night after DH and I decided we will start TTC early 2016 and I'm shocked....and annoyed with myself that I'm shocked.

I just assumed that as our household income is about 40k a year and I work for the NHS (which I've heard has good maternity pay) I'd be able to have about a year off...feel silly now. After the first few weeks of 90% pay I'll lose about 1000 a month after tax....I'm the highest earner by quite a long way, how does this even work?

I don't understand how other people manage and I'm SO cross with myself for feeling hard done by.

Can you live on 1700 a month? Or do a lot of women return to work after a few months? I feel like I'm missing a trick here.

Flame away!

[bettyberry]

I'd plan for you to take the entire year off. Save and have enough sorted for that. If you share the leave. Great it'll cover his loss of earnings too. If you go back to work early you still have the savings to ease you in gently to the cost of nurseries to imo.

Save and prepare as though you want to take the entire year off. Plan for the dramatic drop in earnings and if you don't want to do you have a nice cushion behind you to do as you wish.

Also, what ever you think you'll need add on extra for unexpected costs like your washing machine needing replacing etc. That was a big reason I ended up working again. Things started breaking and I couldn't afford to fix them on SMP. I was better off using childcare credits and earning.

[FlatOnTheHill]

I think you have not looked into this properly from the start.
15 years ago I went back to work full time when my DS was 12 weeks old....yes 12 weeks as maternity pay slightly different then.
Not everyone has a year off have a year off. Dont panic. It will all fall into place.

[waitingforsomething]

If you put off ttc until late summer could you and Dh save 500 pounds month or so? This plus 1700 is totally doable in my opinion.
Dh takes home about 2200 after tax, my smp plus 3/10ths pay for 20 weeks (my package after the first 6 weeks) has come in at about a grand and after this I will use the 500 a month I saved on top of smp until DS is 9 months. Then I'll go back to work. He is my second child and we've done this before- it's childcare I'm more concerned about.
Perhaps the NHS can spread your pay a bit?

[qumquat]

Definitely think about sharing parental leave with your DH. Not only will it save you money, it will also help you to avoid falling into the trap of you doing all the childcare and household stuff which so many people seem to fall into after mat leave.

Sadly we couldn't afford our mortgage on my salary so DH didn't share parental leave in the end, but he did save up his annual leave so he took a day off a week for the first few months I was back to work, which was great for him and DD and also saved on childcare costs.

Also, don't assume you'll want to take a full year. I assumed I would, but I was ready to eat my own head with loneliness and depression by 6 months, and to be honest only stretched it out to 9 months because I was scared people would think I was a bad mum for going back sooner. We are very lucky in the UK to have such generous maternity entitlements (even in France my sis had to go back when her dds were 3 months old), so I think it's easy to get sucked in to thinking you MUST take the full time, but it doesn't work for everyone.

[ohtheholidays]

Alice it's good that your thinking about it now before your pregnant it gives you a chance to get the money side of becoming a parent in place.

First off I'd check what you will get maternity pay wise from work,then I'd go onto the Government site and check what you'd be entitled to,you pay be entitled to some child tax credits as well as child benefit.

Then I'd work out what your Incoming and outgoings will be.A meal planner is a great way of getting your shopping bill down if you need to,I'd also reccomend batch cooking meals once your pregnant and near the end of the pregnancy,I did whilst pregnant with 4 of my 5DC and it was a god send once the baby's were here.
Have a look at what your paying out tv,broadband,mobiles,energy suppliers as well,you might find changing who you use could save you a couple of thousand a year.

Shopping through a site like quidco as well especially when you start buying for the baby,you get paid so much back on what you buy just for going through they're site.

[StellaAlpina]

You could also use your annual leave the other way ie - before you start maternity leave rather than at the end.
Might be a good idea if your on your feet a lot and don't think you'll manage to keep working 'till say 38 weeks. So for example, go on annual leave for 4 weeks at 34 weeks and then start maternity leave at 38 weeks.

[gamerwidow]

We managed by cutting back on everything that wasn't essential and shopping value range with basics only for the weekly shops. It's not easy though and I don't know how many of your outgoings are non essentials so it may not work for you.
Make a budget with all your outgoings that have to be kept to see what your rock bottom figure is to live and work from there.
As others have said unless you have free childcare lined up for when you go back to work you are looking at losing £1000 post baby on childcare costs too.

[Suddenlyseymour]

This is why you so often see age gaps in siblings which precisely match getting one into school before another set of nursery fees loom - very few people i know can fund 2 children in nursery. And you needn't take a full year, I think the very concept of managing via accrued annual leave and mat leave to make it last an entire year has only emerged in the last few years. My 2 are 14 and 10 - it was "usual" with my eldest to get 18 weeks mat leave, if you got 6 months that was considered a proper boon! With my youngest, it had gone up to 6 months where I worked.....I had to go back when he was 5 months old. Not saying this in that awful "you should be grateful, this is how it was for me!" Because that's massively patronising and of no use to you. But just to suggest if things get tight, you can go back to work sooner. Best of luck.

[JessieMcJessie]

You talk about possibly putting it off for 6 months whie you save more. Since you already have a savings cushion and seem clear that you want a child, I would say don't get too tied up in the idea that you can plan a baby for exactly when the financial time is right.

It is very naive to think you will automatically become pregnant within a few months of starting to try. Unless you are extremely young you should just get on with it.

If you have already delayed it 6 months for money reasons, then it takes you another year to conceive, your life will be in limbo for a very long time.

[rollonthesummer]

Like others have said, I had more money when on maternity leave than when I went back and was paying childcare-that was painful! If you've got age on your side, wait a bit and save like mad and get your finances into order. Will you be going back full time and grandparents doing 5 days childcare? Or some nursery? Or going back part time?

A year off for maternity leave is also actually quite a recent thing. When I had my first (>10) I went back when the money ran out at 16 weeks :(

[purplemunkey]

I saved during pregnancy and through the first 3 months mat leave while I was still on full pay. As others have said I was saving money with not going out, not travelling to work etc with a tiny baby so ringfenced a lot of my pay in the early months to help me in the later months when I knew my income would plummet on SMP. I took the full year and managed happily on a lower income. As others have suggested it was going back to work that stung! I now work 4.5 days and pay my share of 4 days childcare and I'm now worse off than I was on mat leave!

BUT I like the balance of work and family (more family time would be better but working less than 4 days would not earn enough for us), I like having an income again and I know things will get easier as our salaries go up and childcare goes down over the years.

Don't think we could afford to have a second DC though