To realise I've been entitled and ignorant Re: maternity leave

[AliceScarlett]

I've had this idea in my mind that when I eventually went on maternity leave that DH and I would have less money (obviously), but that it would be OK overall. "Everyone" appears to have children and they manage it! But I worked it out roughly last night after DH and I decided we will start TTC early 2016 and I'm shocked....and annoyed with myself that I'm shocked.

I just assumed that as our household income is about 40k a year and I work for the NHS (which I've heard has good maternity pay) I'd be able to have about a year off...feel silly now. After the first few weeks of 90% pay I'll lose about 1000 a month after tax....I'm the highest earner by quite a long way, how does this even work?

I don't understand how other people manage and I'm SO cross with myself for feeling hard done by.

Can you live on 1700 a month? Or do a lot of women return to work after a few months? I feel like I'm missing a trick here.

Flame away!

[SummerNights1986]

I get 5 months full pay and 4 months statutory. For the next dc we're also planning on me going back to work after 9 months and Dh taking the last 3 months off which will be unpaid.

Before we TTC we're working on saving 4 months worth of the difference in my statutory and full pay, and 3 full months of dh's pay so that we have the same income...easier said that done though!

[honeylulu]

I'm higher earner and transferred maternity leave to husband at 22 weeks. I worked until the day I gave birth so all that time was with baby. He then took 10 weeks of the leave. The idea was baby would start nursery before separation anxiety kicked in. At this point I started using my accrued holiday to take a day off a week so effectively I only worked 4 days a week for another 3 months. By the time we both worked "full time" again she was a year old. It worked great for us and had the added bonus that he realised what hard work it is to be a SAHP. There were no more "ladies who lunch" comments after that!
Nursery fees are astronomical (we had no family help) but it still made more sense than losing a salary. We also had our two children several years apart (secondary infertility) so never had both in nursery at same time. After age 3 you do get some government funding for nursery though. Good luck!

[Takeparacetamolandstopmoaning]

As runningupthehills says, it depends on your outgoings but it can be really simple. Some people live on very little; some a lot. We pay £500 a month on train fare and £1000 for mortgage. Add in your council tax and that's your £1700 a month gone. So completely impossible for us. Only you can answer whether it is for you, people with fewer outgoings or commitments aren't going to be able to help with this.

[SummerNights1986]

Also remember the NHS has generous sick leave so if you are feeling exhausted towards the end if your Dr signs you off you will get full pay

Not if you mean right at the end of your pregnancy...if you're off sick from 36 weeks then your maternity leave starts automatically.

[WeAllHaveWings]

We had £15k saved up before my maternity leave (2004) and managed to have 7 months off before I had to return for financial reasons.

[CerseiHeartsJaime4ever]

I only earn £14k a year (now that I'm part time with DS1) so I could easily go a year and beyond on £15k savings!

[MaddieUK]

I'm the main breadwinner, earning 95% of our household's income. I saved up annual leave so I could take up 6 weeks holiday right after 6 weeks maternity leave. Then I will work 4 days a week for a couple of months, before returning to work full-time. Luckily I'm in a line of work where I can work from home once or twice a week.

Long story short: my husband will be a 'stay-at-home' father with some small freelance jobs on the side, and I will return to work after 3 months. It doesn't need to be the woman by default to take care of a baby, however difficult it may be emotionally sometimes.

[chillycurtains]

Create a spreadsheet but be really honest on it. Go through a couple of bank statements or credit card bills to see where your money goes exactly e.g. coffees, nights out, lunches at work, presents for others, magazines, books, etc. Then you will have a better picture of how our finances will be. Some outgoings are work related.
When budgeting for post baby do factor in a small amount of money for coffees with other mums, toddler classes, lunches, etc - I don't mean a lot but you will want to get out and about so don't forget to include it.
There are lots of outgoings that can be cut when you are at home such as lunches for yourself and DP. Dinners can be cheaper, batch cooking, etc. You can use the library for books. Our local library even offers a free service to e-magazines on ipads or on computer and they are good magazines like Red, Good Housekeeping, Cosmo, Film, BBC History, and loads more.

Hope it doesn't put you off. It sounds like it was a shock but with your savings to I am sure you'll be fine especially as you are going in with your eyes open.

[Russellgroupserf]

What do you do now that is purely for pleasure? We used to eat out every week at decent restaurants. Plus DH was in a sports club and played every week. So with less time we actually just went out less and no more 200 quid cricket bats as not required.

I used to have a colleague who still went out almost every week after she had her first child. Personally I didn't have enough energy for that.

Just seen you live in Surrey which is where MIL lives and we both hail from the SE. We met in the North as we had both relocated for work. Have you always lived in the same area and what is your attitude to moving about?

[AutumnLeavesArePretty]

We saved so there was no drop in my pay as I had savings to cover it.

People say you spend less on maternity leave than when at work but I didn't find it the case. I still needed clothes, the house was heated more as I was home, going out and about cost a lot as staying off work for numerous months means a lot of hours to fill.

[grumpysquash2]

AliceScarlett
The harsh reality is that you will never be as well off again as now (i.e. two jobs, no kids yet).
If you only have one DC and your DP/DPILs help out with childcare, that will be the least bad financially speaking. If you have to pay for full time nursery/CM and/or have more than one DC, your disposable income will dwindle to basically nothing.

People generally manage, but also generally go without a lot of things they had before when both working......

It's not too bad (honest), just different. Good luck with TTC :)

[HermioneWeasley]

grumpy is right, but the good news is you'll be too knackered and feel too frumpy to want to go out anyway. It's a win!

[SerenityReynolds]

It is definitely doable, especially if you have time to save before you fall pregnant. Firstly go through all your incomings and outgoings and try to reduce the latter as much as possible by switching providers/cancelling unnecessary direct debits etc. Meal planning and online grocery shopping has saved us a fortune as you only buy exactly what you're going to use that week. Look carefully at frivolous spends like coffee out etc and try to start limiting those a bit. The money you save can then be put aside to cover your mat leave - we basically had a separate savings account and I paid myself a "salary" out of it during the SMP only and no pay parts of my mat leave. You will also save on things like commuting while you're off, so factor that in too.

It's just about good awareness of your finances on a daily/weekly basis and getting out of "bad habits" now.

[RB68]

OK as someone who manages on significantly less albeit with some tc and wtc added in - despite having a great salary before child and for a short time after. I was made redundant when she was about 4 and hubby was setting his own business up, so we plummeted from a nice steady 45K to nothing, literally

Get money smart - check out the Money saving and get out of debt websites and forums, get out of debt - means saving in your case and prevent debt so all still valid in terms of saving money

Take a good hard look at what bills you have - how could you change those? e.g. our electric is high as no gas we made sure we had aaa rated appliances where ever we could when they needed replacing, we think about how we cook and eat in terms of what food we get in and how we plan to reduce waste both in terms of energy and the food itself. Before we got chickens we grew food like salad etc - hard work but if you like it try it.

When you budget don't forget stuff like hair cuts, new shoes, clothes allow a little each month but realise you may not spend it that month but e.g. wait for sales

Costs will fall ie no coffees, lunches, tea fund, work clothes, work travel, contributions to presents at work, charity donations for work and so on. Do allow yourself a play fund for baby classes, coffees out and so on.

I think its really important that Hubby is on board as well so the sacrifices shouldn't all be yours, yes there is shared mat/pat leave which will be especially critical if you are the higher earner, but also think about him buying lunch everyday, maybe reduce it to 3 days a week and 2 days sandwiches or other style lunch that he takes in. Reducing the cost of transport again shld be both, as should what is spent on clothes etc. This should all be about joint monies too - it becomes very unequal when you view his and hers money and one partner is not earning a salary as they are looking after a child - that partner is enabling the other partner to earn by looking after child - so allowances must be made for them to have some wriggle money - ie something they can buy a coffee from or pay for a book or paper or anything really

[LagunaBubbles]

I don't think your calculations are right as I think you've forgotten to take SMP into account. My youngest is 8 and I work for the NHS and I do t think the regulations have changed that much. I didn't take a year but I got SMP when my salary was reduced and came out with roughly 3/4 of my monthly wage, no travel etc. Obviously this won't include shift allowances but that didn't affect me.

[Stirling84]

What does your DH do? Can you share parental leave?

[TheSnowFairy]

When I had children I was in sales jobs with good bonuses but I did it the wrong way round - went into debt then when I went back after mat leave, worked really hard and got the money back that way.

What would have happened if I'd lost my job I dread to think

[Stirling84]

And yy to previous posters who are advising to acquaint yourself with childcare costs. Even in top tax band salary - you will be treading water for a few years.

[Takeparacetamolandstopmoaning]

Both H and I got new jobs whilst I was on MAT leave and I went back with the household earning £25k more PA. so you don't need to think this is the best it will ever be

[LuluJakey1]

I was the biggest earner and we saved the equivalent of 6months of my salary after tax before I got pregnant, to allow me to take a year off. However, we didn't spend it- partly because DH got a promotion when DS was months old but mainly because I just spend less money. I walk DS for miles every day- walk into the village and do shopping at local shops. I cook vegetable soups and casseroles, salads rather than buying stuff ready prepared. I have lost weight and fit into clothes I hadn't worn for a long time.
DS has changed what we do as well- we don't eat out as much, once a week rather than 3 times, rarely have expensive nights out. At weekends we take him for walks and treat ourselves to lunch. We both drink less. We didn't spend a fortune on a holiday- normally we might have gone long haul, we had a week in Yorkshire in a cottage and it was lovely.
We have not been badly off at all. Infact it has made us re-evaluate and I have resigned from being a Deputy Head and am going to work part-time for a friend's consultancy where I can choose how many days I work and what interests me. He won't have to go to nursery full-time so we won't be losing lots of money and I will have that time with him.
I am not particularly clothes conscious- will wear things I have had years as will DH but we honestly have not been short. We haven't been saving as much but we are ok.

[Potatoface2]

i planned to work right up to the last possible week and return to work 6 weeks after my baby was born as we couldnt afford to do it any different, but it all went to pot....i had to go on sickness at 20 weeks when a patient kicked me (NHS) had a rough time after that then ended up having an emergency caesarian, massive problems for me but baby was okay...so that delayed my return to work by many months...left us struggling at the time but we ended up managing (my husband also lost his job towards the end of my pregnancy)....you can do it, but it was a hard time for us....(baby is now at college!)

[DragonMamma]

I was the lower earner when I had my 2 DC so took almost a year with my first and I didn't return from maternity leave with my second. And then my DH was made redundant and it was scary as hell as we had very little savings and just statutory redundancy.

I slightly out-earn DH now and if we had a third (we wouldn't!) I would seriously have to rethink taking a year off again.

I would advise you to save save save as once you have DC1 it's highly unlikely you could save to the same level until they no longer require any childcare.

Our household income is around £55k and even though the DC are in school, wrap around care twice a week costs £200 a month and holiday care costs around £2k per annum.

Crunch numbers as maternity leave is usually easier to get through than actually financing kids when you go back to work.

[DragonMamma]

I forgot to say, we struggle to save for anything other than holidays!

[Potatoface2]

i guess all im saying is plans change, and people cope

[FatimaLovesBread]

How long have you worked for the NHS?

I don't this link you've got your calculations correct. If you have a look at the NHS link further up as long as you've been there a year then you get 8 weeks full, 18 weeks 50%+smp and then 13 weeks smp.