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AIBU?

To cancel new year's eve?

82 replies

jorahmormont · 28/12/2015 08:20

Obviously not to cancel new year's eve full stop, I can't exactly control time, but just to cancel our plans even though it will inconvenience others?

Our original new year's plan was to have a couple of friends over for a takeaway and a few games of Cards Against Humanity after DD goes to bed. A friend told us she had nowhere to go for new year and invited herself to stay with us. In a moment of stupidity we said sure, I didn't like the thought of anyone being alone etc.

I've made previous whiny threads and the basic gist is that as well as some kind of injury to my leg making me want to lounge in my PJs all day (I can do this with the friends we had coming over but not the one who's invited herself) as well as anxiety etc and now I don't want the friend who invited herself to come, and I would still like my other friends to come over but I know that wouldn't really be fair but they live five minutes away and wouldn't be staying, unlike this other friend who is travelling a few hours and will be staying overnight. So I have to cancel new year plans altogether really, but WIBU to do that when she has made plans to travel up to us?

Sorry I don't know if any of this makes sense, I've been up since 5am stressing about it :(

OP posts:

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rookiemere · 30/12/2015 14:40

Are you still suffereing from D&V?
If so then you can cancel with a clear conscience.
If not then I'd say go ahead, your DH should let her know it's going to be a quiet night with just the 3 of you. She may choose not to come.

jorahmormont · 30/12/2015 13:22

She's not boring she's a nice person. I can do polite chit chat etc that's not what I'm worried about. I don't know what I'm worried about to be honest.

OP posts:

SaucyJack · 30/12/2015 13:12

Are you anxious, or is she just boring....?

I'm sure you're not the first person to have a guest round that you have little in common with, and you won't be the last.

It's just one night. It won't be the end of the world to make polite chit chat for a couple of hours as a favour

jorahmormont · 30/12/2015 13:02

My friends have just had to cancel as they're feeling rough and want an early night :( I can't even figure out why but it's kicked my anxiety off all over again now it's just going to be me, DP and his friend :(

OP posts:

Bunbaker · 29/12/2015 22:05

Don't be sorry. D and V is horrible. Get well soon

CFSsucks · 29/12/2015 22:04

Is D and V a common side effect of the painkillers? I'd see how you are tomorrow, see what your DH and DD are like and give your friends a heads up that you aren't well and at the moment are unsure if it's a side effect or not. That way if you have to cancel it won't be sprung upon them.

I get anxiety too and it's rubbish to analyse every little thing and build it up into a huge deal. I catastrophisise a lot too.

jorahmormont · 29/12/2015 21:55

Yep catastrophosising again. Need to wait til tomorrow and see how I feel. Fingers crossed it's just a reaction and will be gone by morning. Sorry

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Bunbaker · 29/12/2015 21:53

You can't make any decisions yet. See how you feel tomorrow. If anyone else is ill tomorrow you need to tell everyone you have invited. I would rather spend NYE on my own than with people who have D & V.

I hope you feel better soon.

wannabestressfree · 29/12/2015 21:52

If its d&v I would cancel. If she is sensible she won't want to come anyway.

jorahmormont · 29/12/2015 21:49

Oh FFS. Just when I thought it was sorted.

I've got a D&V thing going on. Can't tell if it's a bug or reaction to the painkillers (I have been having other bad reactions to them). DP and DD haven't come down with anything - obviously doing all the hygeine things necessary and pretty much quarantined myself from them today. If they're still healthy tomorrow do we go ahead with it? If they get sick tomorrow do we cancel even though she'd still end up with nowhere to go? I don't want anyone to get sick but I don't want to cancel and leave someone with nowhere on NYE if this is just me having a bad reaction!

It's our first time ever hosting anything, can you tell? Sorry to be so pathetic and rubbish and asking all these questions - I have no idea what the ettiquette would be here.

OP posts:

jorahmormont · 28/12/2015 19:15

hibble it's sorted now. I didn't think I'd feel comfortable in PJs but I don't have many cosy non-PJ clothes.

Waiting I want to find it but I don't want to cut into the lid of the box!

OP posts:

WaitingForSnow · 28/12/2015 18:39

/hijack...did you know there is a secret card inside the cards against humanity box that gives an answer to every single card. As in, the answer it gives fits every question..

hibbleddible · 28/12/2015 18:23

I don't understand the angst about the pjs. Your posts aren't very clear tbh.

I would either still wear pjs (you are in your home, I doubt your friends would care) or wear some jogging bottoms and a t shirt.

It would be a bit mean to cancel plans with so little notice on nye.

Laquitar · 28/12/2015 18:10

OP i see that you are going ahead and she likes the game so have a great time.

Can i just add -as another pj lover-
the best 10 pounds i have spent was buying 2 harlem trousers!

voodoolooloo · 28/12/2015 17:09

Glad I came back for an update. Sounds like it will be a nice evening Enjoy

Bunbaker · 28/12/2015 14:45

That's great Jorah. I'm sure you'll have a lovely evening.

icandothis64 · 28/12/2015 14:44

Sometime you just have to say horse things out loud (or here) to gain perspective. Well done for working through it. Happy new year. By the way. What is it about cards against humanity? I just can't see attraction. What am I missing?

jorahmormont · 28/12/2015 14:30

I also know she's quite shy, so to have invited herself, she must be feeling pretty low about spending NYE alone. The more I think about it the more I know we'll be fine :)

OP posts:

Bunbaker · 28/12/2015 14:17

"I don't get the not wanting to be alone on NYE thing."

But not everybody is you, not least the friend who has invited herself.

My problem with NYE is that everyone I know is seeing the new year in with friends and or family and we don't, and I kind of feel left out. OH doesn't care and would quite happily go to bed at ten o'clock.

jorahmormont · 28/12/2015 14:10

Yeah I think cosy festive jumper and jeggings are in order :) thanks all

OP posts:

clippityclop · 28/12/2015 13:33

Great stuff. I think if you'd cancelled the uninvited guest you'd start worrying that she'll find out, or if she'd talk to your DP about it and set off another round of anxiety! Trust your other friends to be friendly and sociable, decent folk which I'm sure they are, slap a smile on your face and think positive. They'll get on like a house on fire, and if they don't it's their own problem not yours. Set the mood, choose to have a good time. Pjs for the day after. Sparkly top and yoga pants?

dublingirl48653 · 28/12/2015 13:24

maybe just go ahead with plans - grin and bear it

cancelling may cause too much hassle

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Funinthesun15 · 28/12/2015 13:16

Just cancel. It's your house! Mo obligation for you to host people if you don't want to and it isn't too short notice at all. I don't get the not wanting to be alone on NYE thing.

It is also OPs DP house.

I learnt when dealing with my anxiety that not everything can or has to be changed. It is unfair to my DH and to OP DP.

Pigeonpost · 28/12/2015 13:13

Just cancel. It's your house! Mo obligation for you to host people if you don't want to and it isn't too short notice at all. I don't get the not wanting to be alone on NYE thing.

rookiemere · 28/12/2015 13:03

I think it's important that your DP also gets to invite his friends to NYE otherwise it all gets a bit one sided, so I'm glad you got it sorted.

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