To ask Nursery to pay for new shoes

[CottonSock]

One of my DD shoes vanished at Nursery. She's two so she didn't loose it herself, its a private type of Nursery. Shoes were Clark's and a few weeks old. If its not offered I feel like it should be taken off my (considerable) monthly bill. Aibu?

[OTiTO]

I don't think YABU. Especially if you are paying £10K

I would ask them and see what they say.

[CocktailQueen]

Yanbu. It's not your dd's fault, and you should be able to expect her to come home with the same clothes she went in.

[Bubbletree4]

Yabu. I'm afraid this is part of life with children. Go to the shoe shop, get shoes half a size bigger than the ones you lost so they will last that bit longer so the money isn't totally wasted.

[minipie]

cross posted!

I agree with you about proper shoes btw...

[msgrinch]

Yabu. Wait til your pfb hits junior school. Things get lost.

[lozster]

YANBU - my 18 month old was sent home in ODD shoes. I asked for a poster to be put up asking parents to check their kids shoes matched. I asked for a note to be sent home and a week later the manager gave me cash for new ones. My child spends too much time in nursery and in his shoes to have badly fitting ones. If my kid is with me and loses their shoe then it's down to me. If I leave him in someone else's paid care at an age he can't be expected to look after his own things then I expect the carer to be responsible. The fact he will likely lose stuff later at school, when he should be taking some responsibility, is irrelevant.

[Lweji]

Very odd indeed.
I might write this one off, but with a warning that if anything else disappears that it's not your dd's or your fault, then you will expect them to cover the cost.
And maybe install cctv.

[Thurlow]

I don't think anyone expects their kids to lose stuff. But its a building fall of children, they do the randomest things, they put stuff in odd places, I can easily see a 2-3 year old wandering off with one shoe belonging to someone else.

[lozster]

Oh, and my boys shoes were two weeks old and the missing one never showed up. And yes, I agree, at 10k a year a 'goodwill' gesture wouldn't go amiss.

[Dangermouse1]

I really don't get why people don't expect a paid and professional childcare setting to be responsible for the children's shoes. Completely different to a school, or even a childminder as I imagine the children rarely leave the site. I would politely ask the manager if it has been found and if not mention you are buying replacements and would they cover the cost? I'm pretty sure our nursery would. And completely agree, proper shoes are different to nice clothes in that you are paying for them to be properly fitted and better for growing feet. Why on earth would you invest in good shoes and not use every day?

[toomuchinternets]

I'd ask for replacement, definitely. You took her there, with shoes. They are returning her to you, sans shoes. Not ok!

[MrsArchchancellorRidcully]

100% they should pay. When DS went to his private nursery, he was in washable nappies. A new girl threw one away by mistake, so they offered to replace - I don't think they were expected a £25 bill for one bamboo nappy and a waterproof wrap but that's what they cost!

Same with your DD's shoes.

[MrsArchchancellorRidcully]

Private nursery is totally different from a school setting. School I would never expect them to replace but a private nursery costing a lot of money, yes - have you seen the ratio of staff to children there at most of them - shoes do not go missing at a private nursery the way they can at school.

[lozster]

Yeah - i sucked up the lost five quid brand new primarni hoody but the shoes were a whole different issue. It's not on. The care ratio was 1:3 reflecting the fact they are kids are unable to care for themselves. My boy at one and a half couldn't say 'excuse me that's not my shoe and doesn't match mine' - that's why I pay

[BeYourOwnBoss]

My two children went through the nursery losing a fair bit of clothes and on one occasion shoes, but it never crossed my mind to ask for a refund. It's just not very nice, is it? (Unless you believe that the staff are not doing their jobs well - which I don't think is true in this scenario). Then again my comments to nursery about missing items were never dismissed, the owner always apologised, seemed genuinely concerned, and in most cases the missing items were found.

I mostly sent kids to nursery in old clothes, but I agree that shoes should be comfortable and good-fitting, so they are not easy to replace.

[BeYourOwnBoss]

Also, we liked our nursery a lot - both us parents, and kids, so that was also a factor. I didn't want to inflict a conflict on our otherwise good relationship over a pair of lost shoes.

The way our shoes got lost - DD changed into wellies, provided by the nursery, to play outside, and her own shoes have vanished. Her shoes were not at all new so it's highly unlikely that anyone would take them on purpose.

[Heyho111]

Were your child's name written in them. They've prob gone home with another child. Ask nursery to put a note out to parents. They prob turn up in a bag or in a box of Lego.

[soontobeanana]

Hi - I work in a pre-school and although I don't think we have ever lost a shoe for good we have come close many times. To the people who don't see how this can happen do they not know how many times a day children take their shoes off; to dress up, to go outside in wellies, to swop shoes with their friends, to play oin the sand tray with bare feet or just because they can! We try very hard to send children home with all their own belongings but with 40 children thats 40 coats, 80 shoes, 80 socks, numerous comforters etc etc. Sometimes we lose the odd item here or there. We would apologise, search thoroughly and although we would not offer to replace if a parent asked we would as a gesature of goodwill.

[missymayhemsmum]

mm, not sure I would have accepted the end of day 'she's in borrowed wellies cos she's lost a shoe' to be honest. Would have (fairly firmly) have expected the staff to be looking for it while tidying up.
yanbu

[CwtchMeQuick]

YANBU
I bought DS a new fleece a few weeks ago, he wore it to nursery once, my dad unexpectedly had to pick him up and I realised the next day there was no fleece. Searched high and low, I couldn't afford to replace it. Went in to pick DS up early the next week before any other children had gone home and it was on someone else's peg, it had DSs name in ffs.
Anyway, I was annoyed but prepared to let the fleece go because I suspected another child had taken a fancy to it. Shoes however are a different matter. Id be speaking to the manager about having the money for shoes off your next nursery bill. There's no way I could afford to replace clarks shoes soon after buying them and I don't think you should have to.

[CottonSock]

Well I went to shoe shop yesterday, and we managed to go up half a size, plus boots were in sale half price. So money not thrown away at least.

I can't remember if her name was in them. I need to get better at this, especially before school.

To all if you posted 'just wait until she starts school' etc, I will adjust my expectations. A teacher is not the same as a Nursery with a 3 to 1 ratio. I am well aware of that. Comments like ' your precious firstborn' are unnecessary, and you don't even know if she is my first anyway.

I probably won't ask Nursery for the money, but I think it was not a unreasonable thing to ask.

Every one who was understanding, thank you for taking time to post.

[TimeToMuskUp]

It is quite possibly the most frustrating thing about parenting, the fact that you buy lovely, well-fitting clothes clothes and shoes and that from the moment they leave your care, stuff goes missing. And it is frustrating, regardless that it gets worse at school. YANBU to expect at least an apology from nursery.

DS1 is 10 and still losing stuff. He had a party day at school this week and took in party clothes and trainers to wear. He left his school shoes at school and overnight they vanished. £70 Timberland boots (the only shoes I can find which fit his size 8 feet and don't fall apart after 2 weeks wear). They were his second pair since September (the first he grew out of). 10 years of this and still I get pissed-off with it. So, no, YANBU.

[TimeToMuskUp]

In fact I have to stop thinking about this as I can feel myself getting cross all over again!