To be upset my baby has no separation anxiety

[Imknackeredzzz]

I know this is a silly thing to be upset about ! Don't flame me!

My almost 8 month old little boy shows absolutely no signs of any separation anxiety at all- and I'm stupidly finding it quite upsetting.

If I leave the room he barely notices, can leave him with anyone he's never seen before and not bothered at all. I feel like maybe he's not bonded with me- am I doing something wrong ?!

[daisy46]

ZOMBIE many times over!

[ponny]

@Sandip01 dear , almost before 7 months i was in same boat . my baby has 0 sep anxiety , goes to everyone. even he does not know that m his mum. i was very worried becoz another baby of his age had much sep anxiety .. but as my baby turn 11 months he started to cry for me. now he is 18 months nd has a very bad stranger anxiety.. always wants be with me. till 10 months he had zerro sep anxiety. don worry. it comes as baby grow more

[Notimeforaname]

Worked in a nursery for a time and saw a number of mums get upset about the same thing op so its quite common.

A couple of them would cry and hold their baby a lot at drop off time, or walk away, then come running back with tears in eyes for another hug. This did eventually lead to some children crying with their mothers in the morning and then becoming more attached.

Well, in fairness I have no idea really if this is what caused it or if those babies just eventually became more attached themselves..

Then you would see the mothers who really had to get out the door for work but had crying babies wailing after them, they would cry outside for feeling guilty about dropping and running. Nobody could win 😭

[Sandip01]

Hi, I am in the same boat as you! I know you sent this over 5 years ago the messages from everyone do help me so I’m glad, but also I want to say I hear you and feel you as I feel my son who is also almost 8 months old shows absolutely no separation anxiety from me! I hope you’re ok now and you’re little one is obsessed with you! X

[jamandmarmaladeoncrumpets]

ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE

[LemonadePockets]

I absolutely get this! I used to feel like this too.. she’s 6 now & I have to shove her into school and run every day now & I can’t go to the bathroom without her coming with me.

You’re loved! Enjoy the freedom while it lasts ;)

[Doratheexploret]

I’ve got 3 kids. None of then have ever had any sort of separation anxiety. They are adults and teens now.

[MrsLargeEmbodied]

oh ha ha

zombie

zombie

[MrsLargeEmbodied]

it will come op,
bit young at 8 months imo

[daisy46]

@PercyPiginaWig

ZOMBIE 🧟‍♂️

OP's baby is nearly 7 years old!

Thanks. Why are people so ridiculous?

[daisy46]

YABVVU. Just wait.

[Summerfun54321]

Be careful what you wish for!

[Landedonfeet]

neither of my two did

They are SO happy and confident that you will be back for them - they simply don’t get anxious

My two primary and secondary now are the most confident, settled and happy kids you could imagine.

Covid? A distant memory for them. They adjusted to lockdown. They adjusted to going back to school.

It’s a good sign op

[BuanoKubiamVej]

@PercyPiginaWig

ZOMBIE 🧟‍♂️

OP's baby is nearly 7 years old!

Oh ffs.

@amankaura please don't resurrect 7 year old threads with enquiries about the outcome for a specific child from a situation so long ago. It's such a waste of time.

[BuanoKubiamVej]

Your baby is only 8 months old. There's a long marathon of development stages ahead. At this point your baby hasn't yet realised that you are a separate, conscious individual that theoretically could be unavailable when needed. That's ok. When a child develops this understanding then a little anxiety is normal and a lot of anxiety isn't unusual. A low amount of anxiety is neither evidence of amazing parenting achievement or a low level of parental bonding. A high amount of anxiety is neither a signifier of a heightened level of insecurity nor of a heightened level of love between parent and child. It's all random. You are doing your best and your baby is ok.

[Gnomechange]

My daughter went to nursery at 10 months old. No issues, happily handed over! I was a little upset yes 😂 However it was pointed out to me she was so confident and happy she was able to do it easily.

That’s me rationalising, obviously babies who do get upset are also well cared for and confident!

[PercyPiginaWig]

ZOMBIE 🧟‍♂️

OP's baby is nearly 7 years old!

[OmgIThinkILikeYou]

My DS never had it, he is nearly 2 now and will quite happily go sit and cuddle most new people (embarrassingly not my auntie though, for reasons I have no idea of. She is a lovely woman)

I like it although I do understand why you feel a bit sad. When he started nursery I was expecting him to at least look a bit sad that i was leaving on the first day. Nope! Quite happily wandered off into the room and didn't even look back. I laugh now but did sit in the car and have a cry at the time.

[amankaura]

@Imknackeredzzz how is ur naby now, or in which month he had sep anaxirty.?

[Pidapie]

Whilst separation anxiety is often a positive sign for attachment, I'd still think 8 months is very young :) Keep doing a good job, respond to his signals and look him in the eyes lots. Read up a bit on attachment theory if you're worried, there is a lot of advice within the studies that have been done.

[Strangertides1]

I'd say don't count your chickens......ds2 was the same up til about 15 months. Now he's 22 months and he's my shadow, he prefers me in sight and crys a little at nursery drop off but still settles well.

[Francescal88]

You're lucky - my DS had such bad separation anxiety when I returned to work when he was 9 months that I had to quit my job after three months. He used to scream and cry and refuse to eat or drink all day till I returned.

[Dontunderstand01]

Enjoy it while you can! I have to go upstairs and leave my ds with my dh otherwise he wouldn't go near him in favour of me. It breaks my dh's heart as he adores him but he is extremely clingy to me. No idea why- he loves nursery and is very social and confident.

Ds is 18 months btw.

[SchnooSchnoo]

Dd1 was like that. I could leave her with anyone. Went to nursery at 9 months with no tears, and as she got older would cry when I came to pick her up! She was more clingy when she started school though. We have a very strong bond and I have no doubt she adores me.

Dd2 is 14 months and screams every time I leave the room! We have spent a lot of time in hospital, which might have contributed, but I think it's partly personality. It has definitely got worse since eight months, so it might just be a bit early.

I wouldn't worry. It's great when they don't have separation anxiety. I really felt for other mums who had to deal with the crying at nursery drop-off and was grateful that I didn't have that problem with dd1.

[waitingforsomething]

You're lucky - it's awful when they scream for you even though you are leaving them in safe hands. I used to hate it and cry once I had dropped dd off at nursery.