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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off in the supermarket queue has a go at me for being rude to the shop assistant, when I had a valid reason

101 replies

CarpetDiem · 10/11/2015 16:25

So, I was stood at the check out, woman in front was packing up her stuff, I was getting served. The girl on the checkout had already put her 'till closed' sign up behind my shopping. A woman in her seventies came up & tried to put her shopping on to be told 'I'm closing now' fair enough, two minutes later a twenty something couple came and did the same & she said nothing. So I said 'sorry she's closing now' & the checkout girl said 'it's ok' I replied 'er, no, that's not fair, you just sent that older woman away' she huffed & repeated 'it's ok just once'. I was not amused, I hate unfairness, especially when it was blatantly ageist. So when she asked me if I wanted a bag, do you have a points card? I said 'no & no' to which the customer in front of me ( still packing her shopping) said 'there is no need for you to be rude to her'! I said 'what's it got to do with you?' & she repeated herself, as did I. She walked off gossiping away to who I presume was her mum.
AIBU? I've just got home & it's really pissed me off Hmm

OP posts:
shutupanddance · 10/11/2015 16:29

You were really rude.

Enjolrass · 10/11/2015 16:29

Wow!!

Clearly she thought you were rude, or even if you had a point, put it across rudely.

If the girl allowing someone onto their checkout is your business, then you being rude to the check out girl is someone else business.

There may have been a reason she let them on the til. Maybe she was embarrassed to keep saying no. Maybe she realised she hadn't put the sign up.

You know you were rude. The checkout girl may have been a bit shit. But that does excuse you being rude

NewNameNotTheSame · 10/11/2015 16:30

None of your bushiness to be honest. Maybe she just couldn't face turning someone else away and thought it'd be easier to just serve them? Whatever her reason it was hers to make, not yours. And yes you were rude.

MissBattleaxe · 10/11/2015 16:30

You were rude and gobby.

JustHavinABreak · 10/11/2015 16:31

Well when you said "what's it got to do with you" then really you were suggesting that she should stay out of it. But when the younger couple came along YOU didn't stay out of it, did you? So yes, while your heart was in the right place, I think you were unreasonable and rude too

caravanista13 · 10/11/2015 16:32

I'm with you OP! The assistant was out of order and just saying no is hardly rude.

FetaComplete · 10/11/2015 16:32

It's up to the checkout woman how she runs her checkout. I doubt it was the age of the customer which influenced her, she probably just didn't like you interfering in her job. Saying 'no' to simple questions is not in itself rude, but it depends on the tone and the body language accompanying it. I would just let it go and enjoy the rest of your day.

MissBattleaxe · 10/11/2015 16:32

Maybe the older lady had more stuff than the young couple or maybe the checkout assistant realised she had more time than she thought. Either way, it's her call not yours. YABU to be short with her and YABU to gob off at the other customers for defending her.

Funkyslippers · 10/11/2015 16:33

I am on your side here, op. I hate unfairness & I don't think you were being rude. I prob wouldn't have said anything though as it wasn't really your business

MissBattleaxe · 10/11/2015 16:33

I'm with you OP! The assistant was out of order and just saying no is hardly rude

it must have sounded rude for other customers to remark on it."No thank you" may have sounded more pleasant.

Enjolrass · 10/11/2015 16:34

The assistant was out of order and just saying no is hardly rude.

It's entirely possible to say no rudely.

And the OP obviously did. Because when it was commented on she didn't say 'I wasn't being rude' or 'I didn't mean to sound rude'

She said 'what has it got to do with you?'

Funkyslippers · 10/11/2015 16:34

I don't think the checkout person was bring ageist though

PaulAnkaTheDog · 10/11/2015 16:35

Rude, rude, rude.

Rude.

Morro · 10/11/2015 16:35

You WBU the second you said "sorry she's closed". Not your place to be speaking on her behalf, regardless of the reasoning behind it.

coffeeisnectar · 10/11/2015 16:35

Have a creme egg and calm down.

Booyaka · 10/11/2015 16:35

YABU, totally.

IoraRua · 10/11/2015 16:36

You were being an asshat.
Interesting that it's fine for you to insert yourself into the situation with the other customer, but when someone does it to you it's suddenly not ok.

44PumpLane · 10/11/2015 16:37

YABU- you can't have it both ways- either everyone gets to voice their opinion or noone does.

You were vocal about the cashiers perceived rudeness, therefore the other customer had every right to be vocal about your perceived rudeness.

AliceInUnderpants · 10/11/2015 16:37

A bit unfair to allow once customer but not another (though loads of possible reasons) but it was very unlikely anything to do with the woman's age?!!!
You were rude in the tone you spoke to the assistant.
But the assistant shouldn't have served you whilst the customer ahead was still packing.

steff13 · 10/11/2015 16:38

I said 'what's it got to do with you?' & she repeated herself, as did I.

One might say the same about the situation with turning the people away. It's not really your business, and you don't know why she did it.

I used to be a cashier in a grocery store when I was in college, and I've done this before. It didn't matter who the customer was, it gets annoying telling people you're closed, so sometimes I would do it, sometimes I wouldn't. Maybe the young couple had fewer items than the elderly woman. Who knows? It's not really for you to judge.

Senpai · 10/11/2015 16:40

The cashier could have felt guilty sending one away, so allowed the next person to stand there. Nothing to do with age. I've done it myself when closing up. As a "Oh crap, I feel bad. Alright.. just one more, then that's really it!".

Or they could have been friends/acquaintances.

In any case, it's not going to hurt the older woman to wait in a different line. It's not like she was next.

MissBattleaxe · 10/11/2015 16:41

But the assistant shouldn't have served you whilst the customer ahead was still packing

Not usually up to the assistant. Every supermarket has different policies on this.

Justmuddlingalong · 10/11/2015 16:42

The girl on the checkout...

Fratelli · 10/11/2015 16:46

Have you got a chip on your shoulder about your age? Only you jumped to the conclusion the shop assistant was ageist rather quickly. Maybe there was another reason?

You shouldn't have spoken on behalf of her. I used to be a shop assistant and I hated people speaking to me like they were above me, it said more about them than me.

NapoleonsNose · 10/11/2015 16:48

You were rude. It was really none of your business whether the checkout operator served the young couple or not. Maybe they only had a couple of things whereas the older lady had a trolley?