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AIBU?

To get annoyed by this FB status and think that nurses are not angels?

170 replies

lougle · 17/10/2015 15:51

I'm not a big FB user. I tend to scroll through the news feed and rarely post. Today I saw a post about nurses. It basically told off patients for ringing their call buzzer for a cup of tea because nurses are really busy and have very much more important things to do, then sneered about being called stupid 'by someone who didn't even finish 10th grade'.

AIBU to think that nurses choose to work as a nurse and patients shouldn't have to worry about whether a nurse has had his/her break before asking for a cup of tea (when they're not allowed to get it themselves)?

(I'm a nurse).

OP posts:
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sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 17/10/2015 17:11

Ive seen more of those facebook memes about care assistants recently though. So the message is slowly getting across. We all do an invaluable job and need each other equally so nobody should get more praise than the other I think!

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Alfieisnoisy · 17/10/2015 17:12

I left nursing several years ago when it became apparent that the job I went into the profession for was changing out of all recognition.

I wanted to give tea to those who wanted it.
I wanted to hold the hand of the dying
I wanted to spend time feeding the patient who cannot feed themselves and ensure they are hydrated.
I wanted patients to have clean beds and I wanted time to talk with them about how they were.

All of that was gradually being denied me and more importantly the patients I cared for. If I went back now it would be as a HCA, I sent go into nursing to be "a manager".

I take my hat off to nurses who cope with demands of their job now.

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Sallystyle · 17/10/2015 17:13

U2 to be fair in that last post you sound as though nurses do bugger all and have no clinical skills! We all support and complement each other as a wider team surely? Whats with all the 'them and us' business?

It was quite tongue in cheek. Tone obviously didn't come across well.

I love the nurses on my ward and they do a great job. I don't feel under valued by them.

Of course nurses do loads. I never meant to apply they didn't. I was going to go to uni and train but after seeing what they have to do it put me off. I don't think I could have that level of responsibility the way the NHS is right now.

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Sallystyle · 17/10/2015 17:17

We all do an invaluable job and need each other equally so nobody should get more praise than the other I think!

Absolutely! Tone is hard to get across. I was really just being a bit silly about the memes.

The best praise comes from the patients themselves. Or going home knowing you have made life a little easier for someone struggling.

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Babyroobs · 17/10/2015 17:22

I am a qualified Nurse and often seem to spend half my nightshifts making tea, which is fine as long as there isn't other tasks to do which are higher priority. I wouldn't ever think it was beyond me to make a cup of tea for someone, that simple task often leads to someone opening up about their worries or fears and patients are almost always appreciative. I do work in palliative care and we are generally reasonably well staffed though. I realise Nurses working in other areas aren't so lucky.

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GirlsTimesThree · 17/10/2015 17:27

Alfieisnoisy That's exactly why I left. I went into nursing to give the very best I could, but it's simply not possible anymore.
I tried going back a couple of years ago, but found that there wasn't even time to bath or shower every patient who wanted one. I was told 'there's no time for that, a sponge down will have to do'. Feeding 18 elderly people with varying levels of dementia and mobility problems while the food was still hot was impossible, but it was the 90 year old lady who was left to die by herself because there was no one available to sit with her was what made me realise I couldn't go back. Not having time to go to the loo or have a drink was pretty bad, but not being able to give the care I'd been trained to give was the end of it for me.
All my friends who are still in nursing told me I was mad to consider it. I didn't believe it could be that bad. It is.

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Sallystyle · 17/10/2015 17:32

I was talking to a retired HCA not so long ago who couldn't believe how much the roles have changed.

She thinks that HCAs are doing roles that traditionally nurses would do. Obs, pressure sores, etc and nurses are taking on a lot of the work that doctors would usually do.

I don't know how true that is.

I wanted to be a nurse for a long time but I was quite shocked by the amount of work they have to do. I knew they worked hard but the level of responsibility they have and the sheer amount of jobs they have to complete was quite an eye opener.

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TrojanWhore · 17/10/2015 17:33

They chose to become nurses, just like forces personnel chose to join up.

I was wondering if this thread was a deliberate echo of the one about 'heroes' and how it's not automatically deserved?

And I suppose (echoing that other thread) you could say that both groups knew what is expected of them when they joined, and so neither should complain or demand adulation if it's consistently at the harder end.

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DixieNormas · 17/10/2015 17:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wheretheresawill1 · 17/10/2015 17:40

I think people criticising the nurses miss the point of what this is actually about.
To the person who talks of other health disciplines you too miss the point- nurses spend 100% of their time on the shop floor- I've never met any other profession other than hca's that do that. Hell no- do you know hard it is to get an OT or physio or the like to help out for an hour in between them seeing patients? U know the answer surely
If one day is short staffed and busy fair enough. Except it's every day. No let up. No time to even process the sad stuff. Relatives who criticise yet won't even attempt to help their relative with a cup of tea.
Soon, very soon it will all become clear . Maybe things will improve if you have to pay for what healthcare is worth. You certainly need to adjust your expectations; accept that most of your Drs and nurses will not have been trained in the UK and start providing more care for YOUR relatives. This is the future

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GirlsTimesThree · 17/10/2015 17:52

U2 that's what I noticed. The HCAs were doing so much of the work which used to be done by nurses.
The nurse (singular, there was only one trained nurse on each shift) spent her time doing the meds, the drs rounds and on the phone trying to find residential or nursing home placements for people who were well enough to be discharged. That, and the endless paperwork.
I agree that patients shouldn't have to worry about whether the nurse, or HCA, has had a break and should be able to have what they need when they need it, but it's not the nurses fault that there aren't enough of them to give the level of care the patient deserves. Most of us went into it wanting to care and that's what most still want, but underfunding, understaffing and lack of support, and bullying, from management means that many are burning out, physically and mentally. Not just nurses either - drs, teachers, pharmacists, radiographers etc etc etc. all the same. It's not the job we knew or what we expected it to be.
I now work in the private sector (not nursing) and I arrive and leave on time, get all my breaks and don't have to worry about whether I remembered to give an injection or take someone off the toilet. It's bliss being able to leave work at work, even if my pay is marginally lower.

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Katarzyna79 · 17/10/2015 17:56

in reply to all the negative posts I have met angelic nurses in Edinburgh. I was there twice for a birth, and after that for an undiagnosed infection which was really serious I thought I was going to die, and I'm very good with pain and illness. Every few minutes I had different nurses and consultants monitoring my heart and blood pressure. I didn't want to eat, but they did constantly offer tea.

unfortunately ive not had great experiences in England where I grew up, but I saw my mother treated very well by the department she was in. I do think some departments are run better than others maybe that's why my mother was treated better whereas I was in maternity treated crap.

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dontrunwithscissors · 17/10/2015 17:58

I will also add that I have only once come across a surly/unfriendly/uncaring nurse (6ft, built like a brick shit house man who barked orders, but that was on a psychiatric ward.) Every other medical professional has been amazingly kind.

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yorkshapudding · 17/10/2015 18:15

unlucky, I'm sorry but I don't believe for one minute that the nurse said "I have a degree, I don't deal with vomit" Hmm.

I'm a specialist nurse with two degrees and I've been covered in every bodily fluid there is, more times than I care to mention. I know the daily mail would love everyone to believe that we go around saying stuff like that but in real life, it's part of the job, degree or not.

So many people seem to have bought into the myth (peddled by the daily mail and their ilk) that because Nurses are degree trained now they 'don't do' basic care. It's simply not true. Is it so hard to understand that we still learn the same basic care skills alongside all the theory and research? The two are not mutually exclusive. Pretty much all the people I did my nursing degree with were former HCA's on the ward or had experience working in Nursing Homes, if anyone had turned up acting squeamish about a bit of vom they'd have been laughed out of the place!

I work in the community now but as a qualified nurse on the wards I bathed people, took people to the toilet, changed beds, cleaned up blood/vomit/feces, made copious amounts of tea and toast, fed patients who couldn't feed themselves, cleaned toilets, etc etc etc and so did the other nurses I worked with. When we were short the managers would muck in and do the same. I hate the whole "nurses are angels" thing by the way (it's patroning bollocks) but I hate the "nurses are too posh to wash" thing too.

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serin · 17/10/2015 18:19

At our Trust, you have to make sure that the patients call buzzer is within reach and offer a drink at the end of each and every patient interaction.

You then have to log this and sign it in the file on the end of their bed.

DS1 wants to be a nurse, he is a huge, burly, superfit rugby player and he is going to need every ounce of his strength and stamina.

The way nurses are treated it is no wonder the government last week relaxed the immigration rules to fast track non EU nurses through immigration. They are leaving in droves!

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goawayalready · 17/10/2015 18:20

i was dehydrated in hospital i was stuck to the bed via a drip recovering from a spinal that wouldn't go away (so i couldn't even stand up) and they moved my buzzer and my table with a drink on too far away so i couldn't get to it fortunately i was noticed drifting and put right i hadn't had a drink for two days due to extended labour then surgery

another hospital i went to had a tea trolley my skin was lovely after i left that hospital as i was so hydrated she came around every two hours and gave us fluids helping those who needed it getting lids for cups she was lovely

every hospital should have someone like her with a tea trolley

ive been starved in hospital by nurses too as im gluten intolerant they failed repeatedly to order me appropriate meals they also ordered me to get out of bed to get my meals despite the fact i actually couldn't then when i could they kept forgetting to tell me when the meals arrived as i was in the private room because my son was so ill they kept me off the ward they told everyone on the ward food was there but left me alone when i got there they had yet again failed to order me food then they complained i wasn't producing enough breast milk the lady from nicu was rather unprofessional with them telling them MUM NEEDS TO EAT ORDER HER DAM FOOD Grin

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Jeffreythegiraffe · 17/10/2015 18:22

I'm a children's nurse and our HCA's take their own patients. A good HCA is invaluable.

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noeffingidea · 17/10/2015 18:27

I was a nurse in the 80's. We did use to make cups of tea when we had the time, we even used to make things like scrambled eggs on toast for the odd patient. The trouble with that is that some patients think they are automatically entitled to that and they start to take advantage, whereas it was only meant for the odd patient who couldn't eat anything else.
As for being called 'angels' I always hated that. I was a registered nurse, a clinical practitioner as we were described in those days.

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Katarzyna79 · 17/10/2015 18:31

goawayalready I sympathise with you. with my first birth I found the nurses lacked compassion. The midwives were from stern to very friendly, one was very much motherly and she was my favourite. But once I was on the ward considering it was my first birth and it was a new traumatic experience I found it hard to walk but we had to line up in the hall like school kids for our meals. I did feel sorry for myself but when I saw women who looked worse off than me I thought I should put my chin up and not complain.

Then I got an old fashioned nurse telling me I wouldn't be able to breastfeed because my breasts weren't very big. I corrected her and said oh my midwife told me size doesn't matter its about milkd production and perseverance, she looked more irritated with me. she put me off breastfeeding, I ended up using the bottle in hospital because I didn't want her helping me.

One nurse on night shift was particularly attentive though she really went the extra mile not because of tea or errands but she showed true compassion care and a kind word, and respect, this is what people want more than a bloody cup of tea when they are in hospital.

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amarmai · 17/10/2015 19:12

nursing is a job- a woman's job - which means they are expected to go over and beyond what they are paid /able to do. If they have cc of their own , how do they have any energy left for them after trying to meet the ridiculous demands that the system puts on them.

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Jeffreythegiraffe · 17/10/2015 19:25

Nursing is not a woman's job. Wtf? Hmm

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hiddenhome2 · 17/10/2015 19:32

The relatives and some of the residents wait until we sit down to have a wee break (13.5 hr shifts) and then demand something Sad

We had one who'd refuse the loo before we had a break, but the moment we sat down would buzz. Her daughter would buzz even if her mum declined an offer of the loo. It was obvious what they were doing.

I feel sad that people feel the need to do this. I don't know why they do it. Their relative will receive a better standard of care if the staff aren't tired, hungry or thirsty.

I always make a cuppa for someone if they want one and sometimes even if they don't want one because it might be all I am able to offer.

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dontwantlinked8 · 17/10/2015 19:44

I'm an HCA (name changed) - I have a colleague who won't do washes, turns , changes because she's a staff nurse but she's shouted at me many times for not being fast enough.

On an average shift I have twenty adults to help - usually ten are totally dependant, maybe 1 or 2 are independent. Usually have two or three theatres, 2 or 3 post ops, 1 dying. 5 will need assistance with eating and drinking. All 20 need a wash - including full bed baths, showers, etc. All 20 have charts that I must check at least 2 hourly. I have up to 5 toilets to keep clean, multiple stock to keep replenished, scans and moves to sort, patients to escort, catheters to empty. Often 2 or 3 beds to clean too (30 minutes per bed). Often I am doing 90% of that alone as staff nurses are doing medication (a single drug round can take 2 hours).

I have trained myself to use the toilet at 6.30am, 11am ish, 3pm and then before bed - despite having recurrent bladder issues. We don't get to take water with us, have a fountain but the water isn't pleasant.

Management don't come to help, if they do its to tell you off.

I enjoy my job, I like making people feel better but I seldom manage to do it. I'm always getting good feedback from patients because I do try to do tea, fresh toast, extra blankets, fixing the TV (I've been a patient and relative too) but management want you to go faster , and we just don't have the time to hold a hand. Often I've gone home in tears and sore because I've not completed everything.

I even had a nurse question why I wanted/felt I should hold the hand of a dying patient so his family could go and get tea, that upset me. Some nurses aren't in the right profession unfortunately , those of us that are struggling I think.

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treaclesoda · 17/10/2015 19:48

I saw the post the OP is referring to and whilst I don't dispute that nurses are indeed stressed and overworked, the bit that pissed me off was the bit about a patient 'asking LOUDLY for pain relief'. Well, here's the thing. Sometimes patients are in a lot of pain. A lot. And the suggestion that someone begging for pain relief is just being an inconsiderate pain in the arse is highly offensive to people who are in desperate pain.

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dontwantlinked8 · 17/10/2015 20:56

I don't think it's about people being inconsiderate - I've experienced having surgery when I was given inadequate analgesia (paracetomal after major surgery). It's more people who scream and shout, I've had to help people who've started screaming blue murder in the middle of the night because they're sore. There's a difference between desperation and thrashing around the bed roaring. But we don't judge another's pain, and we try to help them control it. It's just that we have to prioritise - the most seriously unwell or urgent requests come first, then less urgent.

Of course - in an idea world we'd have everyone given appropriate analgesia from the get go on a regular basis so we'd not end up screaming in agony. We'd have nurses take charge of medications, wound care, observations etc. We'd have HCAs do all basic care. We'd have domestics on the wards all the time for hydration, and more volunteers for stuff like hair washing, nail painting, reading, TV sorting.. And we'd have porters, physios, doctors etc all do their own jobs. But in reality, the nurse is doing the junior doctors job as well as her own. The HCA is picking up the nurses job as well as her own and everything else tjas she's asked to do. And it's all of us that are suffering I think.

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