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AIBU?

To wonder why people struggle to live in London.

466 replies

m1nniedriver · 10/10/2015 12:41

Just honestly wondering what it is about London that makes people on, as I see it, huge salaries want to live in tiny flats just because it's london? The cost of living there seems riduculous. Some of the posts on here about the cost of housing just beggars belief! A tiny 1 bedroom flat for 300k?? If that's what you want then power to you but I do see posts with people say they are struggling and stressing every day to get by. Why would you not move to another part of the country that would enable a much better quality of life?

I'm not great at putting things across on posts so I hope this doesn't offend anyone its is meant as a genuine question, not having a go.

OP posts:
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slicedfinger · 10/10/2015 18:30

DHs job does not exist outside of London.

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Washediris · 10/10/2015 18:30

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NewLife4Me · 10/10/2015 18:30

not even a 2 bed flat for 300k.
It's a different world to here.
for 300k you'd get a 4/5 bed detached, drive, double garage, lots of land and of course room for a Pony. This house of course would be the top end of the market, best street/ area of the borough.

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Bottlecap · 10/10/2015 18:38

We live in Central London. Often I'm struck by how lucky we are - like when my kids have a history assignment and we nip over to the British Museum or when our local Indian takeaway turns out to be famous throughout Europe and require booking a month in advance or when we took the kids to see Macbeth at the Royal Opera House for £20/ticket when my oldest was reading it at school.

If you have an enormous appetite for arts/culture/fashion etc then there's no better place than London. My appetite is waning, and I'm craving more green space so our days are numbered.

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Washediris · 10/10/2015 18:41

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SladeGreen · 10/10/2015 18:42

I used to live in London as a student. I loved it, I was never bored and everything I wanted to see and do was just so easily accessible.

However, I really struggled when my rent went up, and I had to work full time on minimum wage aswell as attending college (which I paid for myself). Reluctantly I had to pack it all in and move back up north, and it really broke my heart to leave. I love London, but it's no place to live if you have no money. I'd like to move back again, but only when I am on a decent salary and can actually afford to enjoy it!

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Likeaninjanow · 10/10/2015 18:45

I live near edinburgh, where we have plenty culture, arts etc. where I live, I can cycle into the hills, canoe on lochs etc.

I went to London recently, and we had a fantastic time! I really wouldn't like to live there though. It was so crammed on the tube, in the elevators.. People TOUCHING me!

Everyone's different though... otherwise it'd be dead boring.

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Nottodaythankyouorever · 10/10/2015 18:49

I think it depends though.

DH was born and bred in London as was his parents and grandparents.

He only moved out to be with me. His family still all live there. He actually wished he'd done it sooner. Something which he never thought he would say.

He does say that sometimes when you live in London you forget that there is elsewhere as virtually everything is on your doorstep an get caught up on the 'London bubble'.

That is also from someone who used to travel all over the country for his job.

We often obviously go back to visit but he says he would never go back there to live.

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JassyRadlett · 10/10/2015 18:49

NewLife, I get that. But for me, quality of life is so much more than the size of my house and garden.

I'm an immigrant. I've built all my friendships and support networks from scratch over the last decade (DH's family are useless). It means a huge amount to me, with DS2 due any day, that I have local friends who have all enthusiastically volunteered to look after DS1 whenever we need it, including if I go into labour at 3am. We didn't have to ask. I have lots old people who I know have my back, will look after my kids in an emergency, and who make this feel like a place I can call home.

I have friends in other parts of the country, some quite close friends, but much more spread out.

I'm sure I'd build up something like this somewhere else, eventually. But with small kids it doesn't feel like I can risk giving up the stability I've built here. And I do feel London is generally more welcoming to immigrants - I'm much more the 'norm' here than I might be elsewhere.

I grew up on a farm and spent a good part of my childhood with the nearest neighbours a 30 minute drive away. My current life is a long way from what I grew up with. Would I love a few acres, space for a dog, and an orchard full of fruit trees? Sure - but given circumstances, this feels like the best compromise.

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Notoedike · 10/10/2015 18:53

We live just outside London, dh commutes, we are here because dh has a very well paid job and London is where the opportunities are. If he didn't earn so much we would not live here. We love London but only while we can afford a house in a nice area.

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brokenhearted55a · 10/10/2015 18:57

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Mrspopper · 10/10/2015 19:02

Because it's where I was born and raised. It's where all my friends and family are. Because I love it. Yes it's ridiculously expensive but I can't imagine bring anywhere else.

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IrenetheQuaint · 10/10/2015 19:06

I grew up in a large cheap house in a village in the middle of nowhere. Never again! I've been living in London for 15 years and still can't believe how lucky I am.

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ouryve · 10/10/2015 19:10

You can buy a 3 bed house in a nice, quiet street with access to on and off street parking for 2-3 cars, plus a decent garden for under £100K where I live.

Not much good if your family's several hundred miles away, depriving you of their support and free childcare and there aren't any jobs that you have the skills for in the area, though.

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toots111 · 10/10/2015 19:17

It always surprises me that people who don't live in London care so much about why people who do, do. I can't imagine anyone starting a thread about why would anyone live in Cardiff! Everyone is different and motivated by different things, I could not have the life I live anywhere other than London. I love this city and every time I see the view of the city from the south bank, or get a glimpse of Canary wharf In the distance or walk along the river and see Big Ben it fills my heart with joy. For me, yes the job, the family, the art, the culture etc are wonderful. But what keeps me here is that it's London. It's a unique place that awakens something in me that nowhere else I've lived or visited does. I'll be here forever and they'll sprinkle my ashes from a boat on the Thames whilst playing 'maybe it's because I'm a londoner' Smile

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doubleshotespresso · 10/10/2015 19:26

-Family
-Friends
-Amazing city with lots on offer for young and old, not found anywhere that compares well to be honest but am of course biased...
-Work (cannot obtain equivalent income outside of London, opportunities are virtually nil in my field and travel costs in from other areas are just crippling)
-School places are hugely difficult but if you are lucky, are very good in all aspects..

No amount of space and green fields would make a difference to us at all with the absence of family. OP would you want to leave your loved ones and home town just for a bigger house? Genuine not sarcastic question?

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Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 10/10/2015 19:47

Theres a lot to be said for big cities. DH moved to birmingham and soon realised what a friendly place it is .. im sure London is the same ... feels big, but you are known in certain places.

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MarshaBrady · 10/10/2015 19:52

London is a friendly city. I think it helps that so many come here from other places, so it's easy to meet new people.

People talk about the west end, but I rarely go to the theatre. I do visit exhibitions. But mostly it's the view and the feel of it as you pass over the river etc. It feels like there is a lot to discover, and keep discovering after 15 years.

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longestlurkerever · 10/10/2015 19:54

I live in London and grew up elsewhere. I am not struggling but am aware that my London life has some definite downsides compared to life elsewhere. For me these are offset by some real advantages. I feel at home here because London is so densely populated and diverse that it's easy to find your niche. I also like the fact that London is for the most part liberal and accepting. Ukip didn't even bother standing in my ward.

The sheer variety of stuff to do is unmatched. People say you don't find time to do cultural stuff but I do - not so much the theatre, except children's theatre, as it isn't really my thing, but music and art exhibitions and museums, definitely, and I always look out family activities going on at the weekends and again the sheer number of people around means there are loads. Just today dh and I were saying how lucky we are to be able to do our food shopping in all manner of international shops and try out new ingredients.

I like that we are not tied to the car, the thread earlier where someone chortled at the idea of public transport after 6pm made me shudder.

My job doesn't really exist outside of London. I could do a watered down version of it but it would feel like a real compromise, and for what? A bigger house? I could swap my mid terrace by q training for something swanky with a gravel drive but would that make me happier?

I actually don't really mind my commute. I walk through a park, get a 20 min tube then walk through another park. I get to see big Ben and Westminster abbey from my desk. It feels exciting.

I think I have a good quality of life because I moved to London when I was young and made the most of its opportunities. My younger cousins are trying to establish their careers in smaller towns and I can see that they're really limiting themselves and are unlikely to break into the fields they want.

The rest of the world feels closer in London too as you can get direct flights or trains to most places you want to go.

In summary, I can see that life might be easier elsewhere, but less colourful, and I'd need something pretty special to draw me away. Living by the sea might be enough but I worry it might disappoint if the economy was dire or the people were unwelcoming to outsiders.

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ButtonMoon88 · 10/10/2015 19:58

I lived in midlands (hated it!) and left my friends to move to London. I earn more than my friends, but it's all relative because cost of living is higher also. The majority of my friends have now moved down here because where we are from everything is either shut or turned into another pound stretcher. All my old stomping grounds, the varsity, chain pubs and clubs, have all gone bust, it's a miserable ghost town. The few friends that still live there have brought 90k houses which is great for them, but I couldn't think of anything worse. They are tied to a city that is gray.

I love London for the anonymity and the busyness of it. For the culture, the beauty and the diversity. There is always someone interesting to meet and something new to do.

The cost of living is high, but wages are higher, I couldn't earn what I earn where my mom is. The type of childhood I can offer my child here at outshines the life I had. Not everyone will agree, but they don't have to. I love it, so I have to pay the price! Plus my house will triple in value, not depreciate!!

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tobysmum77 · 10/10/2015 20:14

I actually find the 'london being more open to immigrants' argument quite offensive and think that reflects more on the smalk mindedness of some recent immigrants/ lack of actual experience than the rest of the uk.

I genuinely don't get it op. DH is from the SE and I've been at parties where people have told me there 'are no jobs outside the SE' Hmm. Err there are. I think the issue is if people are on 60k, for example they would maybe be on 45k outside. They see that as negative when they'd be better off in reality. If you have a job that only exists in London then that was your choice. The only real argument imo is family/ roots/ happen to love it.

Believe it or not there are museums, award winning curry houses and all sorts of potential learning experiences in any region also. We can even visit London for the day or to go to the theatre.

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tobysmum77 · 10/10/2015 20:17

Buttonmoon I have no idea where in the midlands toy are from but please don't tar a whole region with the brush of one place.

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NewLife4Me · 10/10/2015 20:20

sorry for the link folks.

I was just responding to the fact that 300k wouldn't buy a 2 bed flat, and being a different world to me.
I wasn't suggesting all you Londoners move up here and push our prices up Grin
I do find these threads interesting as having never lived in London or it's outskirts it's very informative.

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Binkybix · 10/10/2015 20:25

It's a good question. We're not struggling exactly, but our mortgage is huge and a source of background stress I guess. I didn't really think through about portable jobs, although we could find similar paid ones elsewhere but with less choice.

I can't really put my finger on why we stay - I just know that when faced with the choice of big mortgage and stay central-ish or move out and commute, I wanted to stay. Lots of friends who have moved out for bigger houses/gardens regret it, although not all by any means. Walking to work and extra time with DC is important to us.

There probably will be a point we will move out, and we are working on job options for the medium term.

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