Not to be doing any extra cuticular classes with my children

[CantGetUp]

I don't bring my children to any classes - they are 6 and 4.

I'm so busy working during the week and we normally do something at the weekend or just be lazy

A friend of my has her children signed up for every class going and I'm wondering if I should make more of an effort with mine.

friend's DCs are doing swimming, football, drama etc.

Does it really matter at this stage? I'm worried that by the time my children suggest a hobby they want to do that all the other children will be years ahead of them.

My elder DC has problems with coordination so he doesn't really like sports. He's happy playing lego, going to the playground etc

[hibbleddible]

I agree that swimming is essential. I would enrol at a class in your local leisure centre.

Other than that do as little or as much as you want.

[clary]

Thinking about this some more, I second Scouting (or Guiding) - it's a great way to meet new people (often from other schools/age groups) and try loads of new activities.

My 3 DC spent the first week of the holidays on a giant Scouting camp involving thousands of young people and they haven't stopped talking about it since.

6yos can join Beavers, 7yos can join Brownies, worth getting their names down IMO.

[Mehitabel6]

Although I think Scouting/Guiding is great it comes under 'only if they want to do it'.

[howabout]

My older 2 didn't do anything formal till they were 7 and 8. I think that is young enough. If you are a confident swimmer and can take DC yourself to become water confident I question the need for lessons at a young age. I always felt brownies / cubs were on too late on school nights. DD joined scouts as a 10 year old and is all the more enthusiastic for having started later.

It is so easy to get sucked into competitive parenting and structured clubs sucking up all DC's spare time. I now have DD3 aged 4 and am holding off.

So I think YANBU

[IsabellaofFrance]

DD loves Rainbows and its the only thing she has stuck at long term. She started just after her 5th birthday and has got to experience so much, as well as given her a whole different group of friends. She moves up to Brownies very soon and I know that she is going to miss it enormously.

I agree with other posters that swimming is an essential skill - all my three have had lessons. DD has kept hers going but both my boys gave up once they had reached a good level of competency.

If they are happy not doing anything then I don't see a problem. My DD has friends who do ballet/tap etc, but she has never really expressed a massive interest. We are quite active and go on walks/hikes most weekends as well as the walk to school, so I am not worried about her exercise levels

[DisappointedOne]

Is guiding still heavily church focused?

[G1veMeStrength]

Mine do a few different things each week - each to their own. They aren't experts by any means so yours aren't falling behind iyswim.

[MargoReadbetter]

Guiding is still in churches but no religion apart from occasional church parades.

[clary]

No church connection at all at DD's Guides, nor was there at Brownies.

[leccybill]

I have one DD, going into Year 1. She does swimming lessons, musical theatre and starts Rainbows next week (Church parade every 4th Sunday).

She is an only child but very social and she loves clubs as she gets to mix with other children outside of school.

[DisappointedOne]

What's a church parade?

[MargoReadbetter]

Church parade for DDs is once a term: they turn up at the church in uniform, sit through the service (usually Harvest, Mothers Day) and carry the flag in and out. Minimal interference.

[DisappointedOne]

So very regularly involved with chirch activities then!

[DisappointedOne]

*church

[Atenco]

Another one thinking dance would be good for coordination.

I don't think you would want to fill up a child's time off with too many classes, but there are lots of spin-off benefits to some of these activities.

My dd took Irish dancing and was passionate about it, and all the serious dancers were good at school as well, because following the teacher's instructions required real concentration.

I also think that when a teenager has something they are passionate about it helps to steer them clear of drugs and alcohol.

And of course some activities, like ballet or gymnastics cannot be taken up seriously at an older age.

[goblinhat]

Atenco- I agree.
This explains things well:
silver-fish.hubpages.com/hub/benefits-of-dancing-for-children

[teacherwith2kids]

"I'm worried that by the time my children suggest a hobby they want to do that all the other children will be years ahead of them."

The point is, how does a child know what they might enjoy / be good at unless they have had some experience of it?

With DS - many ASD traits at that age, socially awkward and rather isolated at school [later HE], always been a bundle of energy - I tried to expose him to quite a lot of different things a) so that he met lots of different children in a reasonably structured context and b) we could experiment to find out what he liked / was good at.

Swimming was a necessity and wore him out, tag rugby was fine (and a very different social group) but he hated - still hates at 14 - the physical closeness of the more contact-type elements, Beavers was great socially, in football it turned out he had a real talent for goalkeeping. He did drama workshops in half term holidays - specifically valuable as a selective mute at school., but not something he particularly showed aptitude at or wanted to do more of.

Of those, he has maintained football - a brilliant 'in' when we moved town and he had to find new friends - and added music.

Equally, DD did swimming, and Rainbows, and has also learned musical instruments and plays netball, but her 'thing' became really obvious when she was really young so the dancing took over.

I suppose the point I'm making is that no-one in the family plays football, and no-one dances, and yet my DC have high-level skills in those activities - without a conscious effort on my part to expose them to those things, the children wouldn't have known to ask / express interest in them IYSWIM?

[Skiptonlass]

Is there anything they really want to do?

If there is, then maybe do one activity each.

But doing it for the sake of doing it is pointless. I was an introverted kid and I'd have hated to be dragged round activities. The few times my parents tried it it caused me a lot of stress - I thought I had to do it to please them, didn't want to say no but got into a cold sweat before a class. I was happier just being left alone with a book!

[BoskyCat]

We've tried various classes and my DC just aren't into most of them. DS is not sporty/physical in any way and really uncoordinated, and lots of attempts as swimming lessons have just left him miserable. He hates the idea of any sports, drama, languages or anything where he has to perform. DD has tried football and dance classes and just was too shy and reluctant to join in (she's younger though).

But as DS has got older, we have found a couple classes/clubs he likes - arty and techie things. But they just are not the kind of kids who like going out all the time, and they're not all-rounders.

I now let them lead the way, we talk about the available clubs, things like learning an instrument, etc and I always let them know they can try whatever they like. I'm confident that we give them a wide range of interesting things to do, take them to see things etc. so they can develop interests.

I have often read articles about how kids are exhausted from doing to many classes and never get any downtime. So I don't think it's necessarily a good thing to have them out at something every day. Experts often say kids should be allowed their own time and to be bored/mooch about. I know my DS especially gets a lot out of that.

[Ataraxy]

Agree with the swimming. It takes time to learn and you don't want them to be the children who can't swim when swimming lessons start at school.

[BoskyCat]

(Also we take them to swimming pools, for walks, etc. so they get exercise - they just don't like the organised forms of sport so much)

[BoskyCat]

My DC can't swim and not for want of trying. It's not ideal that DS can't swim in school swimming lessons. But I also don't think it's ideal to push and push a child at doing something they hate and that makes them unhappy – I've stopped that with DS because I'm worried it will be counterproductive.

[teacherwith2kids]

"We've tried various classes and my DC just aren't into most of them."

"I now let them lead the way, we talk about the available clubs, things like learning an instrument, etc and I always let them know they can try whatever they like."

I think that's fine, and different from the OP's situation - my understanding is that her DC do not do, and haven't done, any classes or activities at all, which for the youngest at least is fine. The older one might benefit from the 'experience of trying a class or group', on the basis of which they can then talk about other available clubs they might try - it is hard for the child to suddenly say 'oh, I'd like to try karate classes' when they have no experience at all about either karate or what a class means / entails IYSWIM?

[teacherwith2kids]

(I'm not suggesting an 'every night' whirlwind of activity, btw. Maybe a Saturday / Sunday morning activity (sports and drama, and some dance, are commonly available at weekends), or swimming lessons / Beavers one night a week)

[PurpleSkyatthewateringhole]

My DC are the same ages and they do swimming, golf, dancing and athletics outside of school.
Definitely start them swimming. Anything else is up to you. If my DC weren't active the 6yr old would be in front of a screen by choice although the skate park is becoming a popular option.