Not to be doing any extra cuticular classes with my children

[CantGetUp]

I don't bring my children to any classes - they are 6 and 4.

I'm so busy working during the week and we normally do something at the weekend or just be lazy

A friend of my has her children signed up for every class going and I'm wondering if I should make more of an effort with mine.

friend's DCs are doing swimming, football, drama etc.

Does it really matter at this stage? I'm worried that by the time my children suggest a hobby they want to do that all the other children will be years ahead of them.

My elder DC has problems with coordination so he doesn't really like sports. He's happy playing lego, going to the playground etc

[JemimaMuddledUp]

I really wouldn't worry about missing the boat with football Mini. As I said upthread, DS1 didn't start rugby until he was 11 and he picked it up really quickly. He plays just as well as the kids who started with Tag Rugby when they were 5. Similarly with football, DD did Tiny Tots football for a year when she was 4 but then stopped as it clashed with another activity. She has now started playing again aged 9. You really don't have to start everything at 4 or 5!

[clary]

"I do feel we've missed the boat with DS and football, and he's only 6! Some of his friends have been having lessons for years"

You haven't missed the boat. I struggle to think how a 3yo could be having any meaningful football lessons. 6yo is plenty old enough - the best way to get on in footy is to join a local club and you can't do that until u7 usually - ie start playing matches sept of yr 2

[AsTimeGoesBy]

There are very few things I wish my parents had done differently bringing me up, but I really wish they had encouraged more sports and other activities. I did Brownies which was ok and piano lessons which I hated, that was it, I only really realised when I was in my teens that a lot of my friends had lots of skills and hobbies that I had missed out on.

My two have done loads over the years, Scouting/Guiding plus lots of sports and performing arts, it has done them both such a lot of good, DD for confidence and DS in all sorts of ways (he has autism and dyspraxia), it's hard work for me organising it all but so worth it. I never make them try or continue with anything they don't want to do, but I an always on the lookout for new things they can try, or as they get older we could do together. At any given time they do up to 4 things a week (including weekends). Some of their friends do more, some less or none, it really is different for every child.

[imip]

Along with all the others, swimming is just essential. My older 3 also do gymnastics, I started when dd2 was 3 as I was very worried about how 'awkward' she looked. Turns out she is probably autistic (waiting for diagnosis). So I'm glad I encouraged her to do this and to get her out and social.

Two of my former neighbours and strikingly beautiful, clever women. They could have really run amok in their teenage years, but both were in an orchestra and every weekend they lived for band. I've also started with music in the past year here's hoping!

[AugustDay]

Agree that swimming is essential but other than that I wouldn't worry about it.

My 4 DC are close in age so it was a bit of a nuisance for them to do non school extra curricular activities so, mostly, we didn't. I'd get the to do a sport each and I'd let them do things if they asked but we were relaxed about it.

If asked what extra curricular activities they were doing I just said they were doing playing.

My kids are adults now and three of them do 'extra curricular' stuff at uni (sports mostly but other things too) and the other one just socialises a lot so I don't think their lack of extra curricular activities has put them off.

[waitaminutenow]

Every child is different really, im a sahm so my DD goes to a few classes a week. She has done swimming lessons since 5months and tumble tots (gymnastics) for a year now. She adores both classes! Im thinking of starting her in a kiddies drama class in sept.

[Cherryblossomsinspring]

I think swimming is essential. I do want to foster a love of sport so will send the kids to maybe gymnastics and definitely boxing from about 4. Hubby is a boxing coach and I think the strength, agility and discipline is excellent. Gymnastics is a great foundation for a lot of other sports. I guess the kids will ride too if they are interested but that will be something we do at home. Music is a tough one as it's something I regret not doing properly as a child so I really understand the value of it but how easily you could hate the lessons. I just want them to have skills and friendships (sport is a great way to meet good friends) they will cherish and draw on when older. I don't want to waste money on this, that and the other class for the sake of it. I guess we will play it by ear but in answer to OP, I think as a child there are opportunities to learn key skills that will be useful in the future when they travel, work, socialise so it is good to let them try many things and/or fcous on a few things. But I don't think it's essential. I learned to ski and sail as an adult but it would have been easier and I would have discovered how wonderful they are much sooner if I had done them as a child.

[Minicaters]

I do feel we've missed the boat with DS and football, and he's only 6! Some of his friends have been having lessons for years and practising endlessly in the garden. That said, there is no point forcing them so we don't.

Swimming is worthwhile if you can stretch to it, but I do think we tend to start them a bit young these days. At 6 or 7 they are stonger and more co-ordinated, and they often progress much faster than at 3/4/5, which saves parents hundreds of pounds.

I also think something to improve their control of their bodies is a good thing. DD was very uncoordinated at 5 and I'm sure her gym has helped with that. Some children are naturally inclined to climb trees etc and might develop just through free play, but DD is naturally more inclined to slouch about read Improving Books, so she needs the push of a class to get some exercise and improve her balance etc. Gym is a good general background - she went very easily from gym to ballet, and I suspect it would also help with other sports.

[JemimaMuddledUp]

Don't worry too much about them not being able to join an activity as they get older. DS1 is almost 13 and plays both football and rugby. He started playing football aged (I think) 5 but didn't take up rugby until he started secondary school aged 11. He now plays both for local teams and you wouldn't know that he didn't start playing rugby years ago.

[SteadyHand]

My dd2 started gymnastics for 1 hour a week at age 4, now she's 8 and trains for 23 hours a week- so be prepared that this particular sport can escalate in terms of commitment!

Dd1 has tried various things but hasn't really found anything she 'loves' and she's now 10. She currently does Brownies (about to move to Guides) and gymnastics. But she's tried swimming (both girls had swimming lessons from around age 4 but stopped for one reason or another), ballet, double bass, football and basketball. Not all at the same time!

My ds is only 1, and he goes to baby gymnastics and has had swimming lessons which I now can't afford, so I plan on taking him swimming myself when school term starts again.

[trilbydoll]

Some stuff might be difficult if you work f/t though. Our local Beavers starts at 4.45 - I appreciate that it's got to fit in before tea for that age group but a lot of people would struggle to leave work in time for that.

DD is only a toddler so I find having a weekly class gives the week some much needed structure! We're doing something new in Sept, as she seemed to be bored last term.

[BoboChic]

Swimming (essential), gymnastics and art/painting/drawing are good for 4 and 6 year olds.

[PurpleSkyatthewateringhole]

My DC are the same ages and they do swimming, golf, dancing and athletics outside of school.
Definitely start them swimming. Anything else is up to you. If my DC weren't active the 6yr old would be in front of a screen by choice although the skate park is becoming a popular option.

[teacherwith2kids]

(I'm not suggesting an 'every night' whirlwind of activity, btw. Maybe a Saturday / Sunday morning activity (sports and drama, and some dance, are commonly available at weekends), or swimming lessons / Beavers one night a week)

[teacherwith2kids]

"We've tried various classes and my DC just aren't into most of them."

"I now let them lead the way, we talk about the available clubs, things like learning an instrument, etc and I always let them know they can try whatever they like."

I think that's fine, and different from the OP's situation - my understanding is that her DC do not do, and haven't done, any classes or activities at all, which for the youngest at least is fine. The older one might benefit from the 'experience of trying a class or group', on the basis of which they can then talk about other available clubs they might try - it is hard for the child to suddenly say 'oh, I'd like to try karate classes' when they have no experience at all about either karate or what a class means / entails IYSWIM?

[BoskyCat]

My DC can't swim and not for want of trying. It's not ideal that DS can't swim in school swimming lessons. But I also don't think it's ideal to push and push a child at doing something they hate and that makes them unhappy – I've stopped that with DS because I'm worried it will be counterproductive.

[BoskyCat]

(Also we take them to swimming pools, for walks, etc. so they get exercise - they just don't like the organised forms of sport so much)

[Ataraxy]

Agree with the swimming. It takes time to learn and you don't want them to be the children who can't swim when swimming lessons start at school.

[BoskyCat]

We've tried various classes and my DC just aren't into most of them. DS is not sporty/physical in any way and really uncoordinated, and lots of attempts as swimming lessons have just left him miserable. He hates the idea of any sports, drama, languages or anything where he has to perform. DD has tried football and dance classes and just was too shy and reluctant to join in (she's younger though).

But as DS has got older, we have found a couple classes/clubs he likes - arty and techie things. But they just are not the kind of kids who like going out all the time, and they're not all-rounders.

I now let them lead the way, we talk about the available clubs, things like learning an instrument, etc and I always let them know they can try whatever they like. I'm confident that we give them a wide range of interesting things to do, take them to see things etc. so they can develop interests.

I have often read articles about how kids are exhausted from doing to many classes and never get any downtime. So I don't think it's necessarily a good thing to have them out at something every day. Experts often say kids should be allowed their own time and to be bored/mooch about. I know my DS especially gets a lot out of that.

[Skiptonlass]

Is there anything they really want to do?

If there is, then maybe do one activity each.

But doing it for the sake of doing it is pointless. I was an introverted kid and I'd have hated to be dragged round activities. The few times my parents tried it it caused me a lot of stress - I thought I had to do it to please them, didn't want to say no but got into a cold sweat before a class. I was happier just being left alone with a book!

[teacherwith2kids]

"I'm worried that by the time my children suggest a hobby they want to do that all the other children will be years ahead of them."

The point is, how does a child know what they might enjoy / be good at unless they have had some experience of it?

With DS - many ASD traits at that age, socially awkward and rather isolated at school [later HE], always been a bundle of energy - I tried to expose him to quite a lot of different things a) so that he met lots of different children in a reasonably structured context and b) we could experiment to find out what he liked / was good at.

Swimming was a necessity and wore him out, tag rugby was fine (and a very different social group) but he hated - still hates at 14 - the physical closeness of the more contact-type elements, Beavers was great socially, in football it turned out he had a real talent for goalkeeping. He did drama workshops in half term holidays - specifically valuable as a selective mute at school., but not something he particularly showed aptitude at or wanted to do more of.

Of those, he has maintained football - a brilliant 'in' when we moved town and he had to find new friends - and added music.

Equally, DD did swimming, and Rainbows, and has also learned musical instruments and plays netball, but her 'thing' became really obvious when she was really young so the dancing took over.

I suppose the point I'm making is that no-one in the family plays football, and no-one dances, and yet my DC have high-level skills in those activities - without a conscious effort on my part to expose them to those things, the children wouldn't have known to ask / express interest in them IYSWIM?

[goblinhat]

Atenco- I agree.
This explains things well:
silver-fish.hubpages.com/hub/benefits-of-dancing-for-children

[Atenco]

Another one thinking dance would be good for coordination.

I don't think you would want to fill up a child's time off with too many classes, but there are lots of spin-off benefits to some of these activities.

My dd took Irish dancing and was passionate about it, and all the serious dancers were good at school as well, because following the teacher's instructions required real concentration.

I also think that when a teenager has something they are passionate about it helps to steer them clear of drugs and alcohol.

And of course some activities, like ballet or gymnastics cannot be taken up seriously at an older age.

[DisappointedOne]

*church

[DisappointedOne]

So very regularly involved with chirch activities then!