To think if you are the allergy expert in a restaraunt

[WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant]

Then you should have a basic understanding of food allergies?
Trying to find a suitable meal for 2 year old dd the other day.
She is allergic to wheat. Not gluten. Wheat.

Quite often, GF products are ok for her, as they are wheat free too.
But there are a couple of companies, mostly catering for coeliacs, that use modified wheat in their products. These are no good for my dd.

I understand that most people don't know the difference, or have no reason to investigate this. It's the first time I have had to deal with it myself.

But if you are the so-called allergy expert, you would know the difference? Or at least listen when the customer explains what the poor child can eat?

No disrespect intended but why would you want to take anyone with a severe allergy out for a meal

For the same reasons you take your family out for a meal?

My dh has a dairy allergy. We tend to only eat in restaurants that provide good allergen info. Its easy to find them on websites and a lot of restaurants have ingredients lists. But you are totally right, there can be weird ingredients in everything. In La Tasca for example, there is dairy in the chorizo, which we cant understand as most supermarket versions are DF.

OP is not entitled to expect ingredient info or to take someone with an allergy out for a meal. It shouldn't be hard for a restaurant to explain what's in its meals! And now there is legislation about allergies information anyway.

We are dairy/egg free at the moment (breastfeeding my allergic baby dd) and I try to look menus up in advance if I know where I'm going, or else try to go for obvious meat and rice type meals that should be okay. Or vegan is another good option for me. It is only since going df/ef for my daughter that I've realised how tough it is living with food allergies, and this is growing up with my dad having a dairy allergy. Milk is in everything, and if it isn't, there's egg instead. I go to friends houses and they bake cakes for me even though they know! And I understand it's hard to remember so I just go everywhere with suitable snacks now. But my heart does sink a little every time I go to a new eating establishment and have to hunt through the menu.

Wheat is a bit tougher if legislation have muddled it up with coeliac.

That's how the bar staff introduced the lady.

I said (upon being given menus, when seated)
Dd has a wheat allergy. Do you have a list with all your ingredients on, please."

Young chap replied with "yes, I'll get the manager to bring it over for you. She is the allergy expert."

Not exactly sure how that fits into entitledville...

Yes, I always take responsibility for her food. She is only 2. But she is getting good at saying "chicken, mash and footballs please..."
Footballs are peas!

This wasn't a fancy place. Just a pub chain.

Wasn't expecting anything special, but the manager (manageress, surely? ) kept arguing that wheat free is the same as gluten free.

Eventually, she did let me see the book.

"No disrespect intended but why would you want to take anyone with a severe allergy out for a meal"

Gosh, I don't have words for this comment. There are family events, weddings, birthday parties, days travelling where you need to eat on the move, holidays, school trips, family days out.
There are no end of reasons why a person would eat out, all these reasons apply to allergic people too.

We mostly manage ok I restaurants, we only really go to chain restaurants these days though so we can rely on them having a proper print out of all the ingredients in each dish.

I spell out the allergies,always assume the waiter has no knowledge and ask to see the ingredients. I also tell them what problems we've had in restaurants before (eg. they check the burger has no egg in it but then put mayo on without even thinking) to make sure they don't happen again.

Saying that we carry epipens for severe allergies seems to help so i usually drop that in too, I think some staff think that maybe you're someone with a srlf diagnosed intolerance and roll their eyes at you, knowing that you carry adrenaline pens seems to get past that and they take us seriously.

We don't need to avoid gluten but several times we've had waiters assume that if you have mentioned an allergy then you must want the gluten free option. When I ask for the nutritional info/ingredients folder sometimes they just bring the gluten free menu, I politely send them away to get the folder I asked for.

I've got ordering in restaurants and anticipating what is going to get confused by the waitres down to a fine art, its taken me years! I even ask about where things are cooked, we've had issues with cross contamination and scary reactions in restaurants even though I checked every ingredient.

For good service where they've really catered for the various allergies, we always tip well and thank them for working hard to ensure we have a meal we can safely enjoy.

Sometimes there is genuinely nothing available that would be a safe meal, occasionally we've had to leave and find another food outlet. Other times we accept that a less than ideal solution will have to do - in Ikea we can have the chips and the peas but nothing else so that's what we order.

Sounds like the on going conversation I have explaining that eggs and dairy are different....

Lazyloulou

Where exactly did I say I called anyone an allergy expert?
Where did I say I expected them to say what was safe for my dd to eat?

If you are introduced as an allergy expert, people will expect you to have some basic knowledge of some common allergies.

I repeatedly asked this lady if some dishes on the kids menu contained wheat. Every answer I got was "no, that is gluten free" or "yes, that contains gluten"

As I said before, eventually I was allowed to look at the special book.

Usually, when we eat out, we have a similar conversation as we are seated. The staff are usually helpful. They sit next to me, with the book. Ask what kind of thing she would like to eat. Find it in the book, then show me.

Never failed so far. Even Pizza Hut can get it right! And their wheat free (and gluten free, if anybody else will benefit) pizza is about the same price as a 'normal' one.

In my family we have 1 veggie, 1 coeliac and 1 nut allergy plus one who eats anything! We seldom eat out.......Pizza Express at best. Go to chains, they seem quite switched on about allergies etc.

ah, so it's not her actual title, just what the bar staff perceive her as.

i was pretty shocked a few weeks ago when i was at a function where i asked what was in the rice, and being vegetarian myself and DD having peanut and sesame allergy, i asked what was in the rice (it was the only food on offer). the manager started to list the ingredients and then said "what do you need to avoid?" so i said "peanut, sesame and meat" he said "that's okay, it's got none of those"
about 10 spoonfuls in, my friend came in and said she was being cooked special vegetarian rice. i said 2oh, i was told that it had no meat in".
cue me standing at the kitchen asking what the stock was "oh, it's a vegetable based chicken stock. it's vegetarian" - i said "is it chicken flavour chicken stock or chicken stock - important difference."
turns out, no, he'd misread the fucking packet and actually it was fucking actual chicken stock
I was fuming.

Reading this thread I'm so glad I don't have any allergies. I'm diabetic and half the time these resteraunts can't manage to produce a glass of diet coke that I ordered and choose to bring full sugar coke instead, so it's not surprising they can't manage to know what is in something that isn't brightly labelled in front of them if they can't manage something that is.

Sorry it's a bit of a hijack but I'm fed up of sending drinks back.

In my case, it's choice that i'm vegetarian, but if i'd been allergic to it, it could have been a whole other story (not that my choice is any less valid, but it's a pretty dangerous line to tread)

some processed mash has wheat flour in it

Sounds like...
I am glad I am not the only one!
Yes, we always tip the helpful ones.
Yes, dd has often just had a few chips and maybe some salad bits where there has been nothing else ( usually followed by an emergency pouch of baby dinner, kept in the car for such emergencies)

I will mention the epi-pen next time. Hadn't thought of that. Thanks.

And whichever poster mentioned the CODEX wheat, spot on! I couldn't remember the name of it.

There are 2 fairly big websites for coeliacs. I had a look, on recommendation from others, for some new things for dd to try. They were all made from the codex wheat, so me good for her.

She is fine with other forms of gluten. She loves ready brek. She has just started eating corn flakes.

We also have emergency safe food stashed in the car!

Lampy, you are welcome to hijack!

Drinks are as important as food!

Diabetes is as dangerous as allergies, in some situations.

Luckily (for want of a better word) I have been type 1 since primary school so I'm pretty well versed and can also if it goes a bit wrong/ you don't realise inject insulin to cover. It would be far worse if I only had diet and exercise like some type 2.

I can't help but feel a little bit of education and attention to listening skills could make all allergy sufferers and people with other medical conditions much more comfortable when eating out.

Ahhh! Vegetarianism is a choice. A food allergy is not.

My ds had a milk and egg allergy that he has now grown out of. Eating out was hard but we wanted to do it, as part of, you know, living.

Lampy, you are right.
It is getting easier for us now, as we are getting more used to it.
Most places are helpful. They get the folder thing and either check wit us, or let us check if they are busy. Or if they are a bit unsure.
I know the final choice will be mine, probably for the next 10 years...
But it is so much easier when the staff listen and actually try to help.

Nickel
That's the kind of confusion I am talking about.
A friend offered my dd a biscuit. ( she is a hairdresser, not a food worker).
It's ok, they don't contain wheat. Only wheat flour...
I had to explain that one!
Hope the rice didn't make you ill.

I often call restaurants in advance. Makes life so much easier, then expecting them to produce on the day. One restaurant made up a gluten free burger as they normally had wheat in. If its impromptu I go to restaurants we know. Also look online, some chain restaurants list all ingredients for menus.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant please don't justify yourself any further, you are 100% right and those calling you entitled are being goady. I often take DN to very small restaurants and find that can often work out better that big chains. In a small restaurant they need your money and they need customers, that makes them motivated to giving you a good service which is what you need. Also in small restaurants the chef usually comes out and says he wants to cook DN meal all himself separately and what exactly would he like to eat. None of this people scampering about with a laminate claiming to know what they don't. I also prefer to go out to eat less with him but when we do we go somewhere very expensive, same thing, they won't dare cock it up.

If you're vege and get fed meat by accident it is a horrible intrusion on your body and principles but you won't die, so that is moderately better

Gosh, yes you can be allergic to tomato. I know several people that are, they swell up and get hives, very nasty. www.healthline.com/health/allergies/tomatoes-recipes

SaltnPepa I agree that you can find great service in small, independent restaurants. We had a fantastic one near us before we moved. But realistically it is very hard to find good independent places wherever you happen to be. If we happen to be in Glasgow visiting friends or Bristol and we need to eat out then, not knowing any of the local eateries, the best bet for a meal we can safely enjoy is a chain restaurant.

For every good, helpful chef in an independent there are just as many who aren't in the least bit interested in catering for allergies, I've learnt that from experience. Also, choosing to go less often but more expensive isn't a choice that fits in with real life (unless a family are well off) because eating out at events and day trips etc is a part of life. To cut back on eating out would mean cutting back on life. I'm not talking about the 'oo, let's go out for a nice meal' situations, I'm talking about real life situations.
For example, it's 4.30pm, we've left a family funeral, the traffic is bad, we realise we won't get home before the kids need to eat, we need to find somewhere to eat. On those type of days we can't just choose to go to an expensive independent little place for great service because we'd bankrupt ourselves soon enough.
Eating out for a planned meal, a treat say, where I choose the restaurant is easy, the problems usually occur when we need to eat unexpectedly somewhere or where there is very limited choice.

Ds1 used to react to tomatoes - rash, upset tummy, burning nappy rash, etc and was diagnosed with an allergy when he was small but outgrew it by age 3.

Ds 2 is cow's milk intolerant (fingers crossed though as just started the milk ladder) and the biggest thing I've learnt over the last 18 months is check check and double check. I'm always amazed by the number of foods that change the ingredients without warning - never presume a safe food is safe.

At least most labelling is easier to read these days