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AIBU?

To still be scared of spiders?

35 replies

TheEagle · 07/08/2015 11:06

Just went to open up the hood of the buggy to take the twins for a walk and there's a large spider after making his home in there!

Of course I shrieked and closed the hood back up and flapped about for a bit. Meanwhile the twins have fallen asleep

I'm terrified of spiders but I'm 34 3/4 for heaven's sake! How do I get over this?!

OP posts:

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Crinkle77 · 11/08/2015 11:22

YANBU I am 37 and still terrified of them. I have got worse in the last few years especially as I woke up one morning to find one of them massive harvestmen spiders in bed next to me. I can't even catch them in a glass and throw them out they terrify me that much.

trackies · 11/08/2015 10:27

OP, London Zoo do a spider phobia workshop day including hypnotherapy. I went on it. Held a tarantula and massive house spider. I did it to avoid passing on phobia to kids. I still hate them but I can kill them or ignore them now as opposed to being paralysed with fear.

Peacheykeen · 11/08/2015 09:58

Yanbu I am terrified of birds and I'm 31 one came very close to me flapping it's wings recently I was so scared I had a full on panic attack.

LumpySpaceCow · 11/08/2015 09:21

I had a major spider phobia (panic attacks even when someone mentioned a spider!). Went to GP and he referred me for cognitive behavioural therapy - worked a treat! That was 10 years ago. I can't say I like them now but not scared of them and can get rid. I'm glad I did it as I didn't want to transfer my fears onto my children.

DiscoDiva70 · 11/08/2015 07:57

I hate spiders and used to use a jug and card over the top to try and get them off a ceiling etc, now I've found a much quicker and easier way of sorting them out by using one of those firm feather dusters on a stick.
No more standing awkwardly on beds or whatever, I just lift my duster to the ceiling, spider walks on and I put him out the door.

TheEagle · 11/08/2015 07:46

Yikes violet, so it's true that you do have to hold spiders!

Fortunately I don't live in the UK so there's no worry of DH buying me a voucher for the course for my birthday

OP posts:

violetlights · 10/08/2015 19:53

I did the London Zoo course - it was quite good. Wasn't a total cure but has made a significant difference to my life. They tell you to keep up the 'exposure therapy' which I haven't really, so it kind of wears off. Might have to do it again in a few years. Can't imagine holding that tarantula again...

Playstationiswhack · 10/08/2015 19:32

Twowrongsdontmakearight Those waspy things with long dangly legs are 'Black and yellow mud daubers' - I live in the Med and they're rife here! I've had several in my home recently and I'm petrified of them; they're casing the joint looking for somewhere suitable to make a nest.

Do not Google image them if you're scared of insects

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 10/08/2015 14:44

Yuk yuk yuk lighthouse! Flying spiders! For me the problem is the dingly dangly legs. I think they're going to get caught up in my hair.

I went on hol to Malta once and they had wasps with long dangly legs. I hardly dared leave the bedroom!!

Lj8893 · 08/08/2015 12:47

Yes there's one at Bristol zoo for £95. I reckon I am going to go for it, it's pricey but will open up my life (I know that sounds so cheesy but it's true!)

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 08/08/2015 11:52

I'm sure there's a course you go on. It's a bit costly about £150.00 for about 2 hours but it's intense therapy and I believe people go in there complete arachnophobics to the point where it is taking over their lives. Then come out completely cured being able to pick them up.
I'm not certain but I'm sure it!/ at London zoo

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 08/08/2015 11:48

It's strange but I love daddy long legs. They're really delicate and remind me of little fairies, but if you think about it they're just like flying spiders.
Now imagine one of them!!.

Rhine · 08/08/2015 11:48

I'm still scared of them as well. Don't mind the smaller ones as much, but those whoppers with the tiny bodies and massive legs still terrify me. I wish they'd become extinct or something so I'd never have to see one again!

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 08/08/2015 11:39

You are not silly! I'm 50 and can't be in the same room as a daddy long legs. DC think it's hilarious and haven't acquired my fears.

What would I do if I was alone? Shut the door and never go in again!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 08/08/2015 09:37

Fear doesn't discriminate against age. Being 34 has nothing to do with it.

Lj8893 · 08/08/2015 09:00

I bloody hate them too! I am determined not to pass my fear down to dd though.

Unfortunately dh is also terrified of them!

I am going to do the Bristol zoo course though, I am determined!

crazykat · 08/08/2015 08:44

I'm ridiculously terrified of spiders. I can feel the adrenaline starting to build up just thinking about them, if one's moving towards me I can have full on panic attacks. I hate it and feel pathetic that I'm a 27 year old mother and I'm terrified of something so much smaller than me.

I've thought about cbt or other courses to help the fear but even reading about how the therapy is carried out makes me shake.

It's a phobia which, bu definition, is an irrational fear of something.

I've started paying ds to get them, he loves it strange child that he is.

TheEagle · 07/08/2015 20:07

Oh the shuddery twitching! How I loathe that feeling!

Mr Skinnylegs has a lot to answer for.

I completely chickened out of returning to the buggy so DH will deal with the spider whilst I am quivering in another room.

Don't think a phobia course is for me, I heard that you actually have to hold a spider! Aargh!

Employing my rational brain might be the only way forward. I'm hoping that when DS1 (22mo) is a bit bigger then he will help me deal with them!

OP posts:

Elisheva · 07/08/2015 19:21

Bloody daddy pig and Mr Skinnylegs. If all spiders had happy smiles and made tinkley noises when they ran none of us would have a problem.
I tell DC that I might hurt the spider's feet if I pick it up which is why I catch it in a cup before taking it outside.
OP one thing that helped me was to understand the mechanism of phobias. For example you can't reason your way out if it ("it's much more scared of you" etc. etc.) because that's a different part of your brain to the part that reacts with fear. I found that acknowledging it and then using my rational brain to override helped a bit. Plus allowing myself to do the shuddery freaked out dance in the kitchen after taking one out into the garden, otherwise I twitch and overreact to my own hair tickling me for the next half hour.

hackmum · 07/08/2015 19:16

A lot of people say that the half-day spider phobia courses they do at London Zoo and Bristol Zoo are very good.

Me, I'm too afraid to go on them.

paulapompom · 07/08/2015 18:52

Worra - got an image of spider rollingits eyes and cchecking its watch. OP I don't like them, but can catch them (in a saucepan, at arm's length ) and put them out, but when you come across one unexpectedly it is hard not to get a fright.

My dad also used to say they are more frightened of you... but dm toldme when she was pg she had to catch a huge black bugger while my dad and uncle quaked!

WorraLiberty · 07/08/2015 14:18

The first time I caught a spider in a glass (after I'd moved out of my parent's house), I was all panicky but still very very proud of myself.

Until I realised I'd forgotten to open the back door first

It took me nearly 10 minutes to get the door open with my elbow

I think even the spider thought, "FFS just get on with evicting me".

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WannabeLaraCroft · 07/08/2015 14:15

YANBU, I am petrified.

However I have definitely got braver since my DS has come along. I forced myself to do the glass and a bit of card trick and once I've picked incy wincy up, I show my DS and tell him to give the spider a name before I put it outside. I only do this so that my DS is not scared and doesn't see me getting scared. Then when he's bigger he can get rid of them himself

I then internally freak out and do a lot of shuddering. If they're huge then I'm afraid I get the hoover out to get rid of them. (Sorry spider lovers!) I've definitely got braver though, and my DS isn't frightened at all.

Pretending to be calm is the answer op although this is difficult to do when one lands on your head while you're watching tv and the only answer to that is to jump up and down screaming like a numpty

maybebabybee · 07/08/2015 14:09

I'm intending on training up my DC to be spider catchers

I can put them under a glass until someone arrives to physically remove them, anyway. That's a start!

WorraLiberty · 07/08/2015 14:08

I wasn't being funny maybebabybee

Just saying that perhaps small steps...ie giving it a little try might help in the long term.

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