Nursery rhymes AIBU

[GhostlyFigureAtTheEndOfYourBed]

AIBU to be totally freaked out about this?

I live in a farm and these past few nights I swear I have seen my scarecrow come to life He shakes his hand and feet and sings while his hat is flopping about. Really scared me, though I suppose it's good for scaring the crows! WWYD?

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

AIBU to build my new house of straw? I've heard it's one of the best building materials from a green point of view. For similar reasons, my DB is building his house out of sticks. Unfortunately, our other DB won't stop going on about the threat from wolves huffing and puffing, and insists on building his house out of boring old bricks. I mean, wolves! Who ever heard of a wolf attack, let alone a huffing and puffing attack!

[hotfuzzra]

AIBU? My old neighbour keeps playing nick-nack, so far he has done it on my thumb, my shoe, my knee, my door, my hive, my collection of sticks, my gate, even my spine!
A mutual friend told me had also gone up to heaven.
Should I call 101?

[Effiewhaursmabaffies]

AIBU for calling SS? My neighbor is a little old woman and she lives in a shoe! And all those kids! I have no idea what she does with them all day!

[x2boys]

i also read that London bridge is falling down ,falling down .

[ExitPursuedByABear]

Is the London fire connected to the falling down of London Bridge?

[ExitPursuedByABear]

Sorry he has been bothering you Faded Yes please send him home. His brother Georgie is missing him. He has been hiding in his room since some incident with the girls in the street.
Anyone know what he might have been up to?

[paulapompom]

Latest news is London is on fire! Someone needs to call the engine and pour on water - however I read it in the daily mail so I doubt if it's true.

[FadedRed]

X post Exit sorry I didn't realise it might be one of yours. Shall I send him home or call SS?

[hotfuzzra]

My friends and I all have the plague. WWBU to sit in a circle with some flowers then all fall over?

[TheFillyjonk]

In calling the council on my neighbour Mary. I think she's running some kind of brothel - she's got this very flashy garden in which she keeps a group of attractive women all lined up on display, presumably so clients can take their pick.

[FadedRed]

loving this thread.
WWYD? A neighbour of ours, lives alone, runs around the town in his night wear, banging on windows and doors, shouting at people to get out of bed because it's after 8 o'clock! Even at the weekend when it's my only chance for a bit of a lie-in, ffs!
Should I call 101 or the council?
local rumour has it he has ishoos about his underdeveloped genitalia

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

LastOneDancing, do you live near a dam, by any chance? I'd look over there, but chances are the ducks are now far away, I'm afraid.

AIBU to live in a shoe and low-carb at the same time? I have so many children I don't know what to do.

Another time I'll ask about my sister's problem. She swallowed a fly and you wouldn't believe what it led to.

[ExitPursuedByABear]

I think my wee boy is sleep walking. He keeps on disappearing in his nightgown and running through the town.

What time do your children go to bed? Eight o'clock?

[x2boys]

aibu to be fuming ds has only gone and sold our cow daisy to some scammer who has given him some beans he said they were magic!

[Enb76]

There's been murder round my house. I found a dead robin. Wonder who killed it.

[TheFillyjonk]

Me and my two vertically challenged mates decided to fly round the world one day in my brand new flying saucer. Well, we had a really good look at the Earth - we looked left, it was shit; we looked right; it was shit. Next thing I knew my mate had ejected himself from the vehicle and flown away. Then my other friend did the same. Some bloody trip that was!

[Elsashmelsa]

Evans, I think I saw them, 10 I would imagine although it was difficult to count because they were all smashed, on the other side of my garden wall... That is a hazard you know, come round and pick them up would you?

[x2boys]

Fluffy*

[x2boys]

Evans Flufy is your name Jill by any chance? and can i recommend vinegar and brown paper for Jacks broken head?

[paulapompom]

AIBU to leave my kittens alone when the lose their mittens? I hope they may just find them and come home. Is it a matter for SS?

[badg3r]

Off on our holiday to St Ives we crossed this guy with a whole load of women in tow all dragging these heavy burlap sacks. DS hears a MEOW from one them. Of course we called the police, there were about 50 cats in total in those sacks. When they arrived it turned out the bloke was claiming that all seven women were his wives. You get all sorts at the M4 Wimpy.

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

What happened to all my green bottles?

[Elsashmelsa]

I think we must all live in the same place where weird things happen.

The other day I walked into one of my local shops to buy some wool, the usual shopkeeper had turned into a bloody sheep and was talking about all the wool she had. Worse than that I think she was hinting that I should help with her deliveries because she said about the wool that she'd bagged up 'one for the master, one for the dame and one for the little boy who lived down the lane'.

Cheeky cow sheep!!

[Bilberry]

My ds has just fractured his skull. I've heard vinegar, brown paper and bed rest is best for this but wondering if I should call the doctor. Dd will have to get the water by herself now.

[LastOneDancing]

Well if you think you've got problems, I had five little ducks at the start of the week.

I'm already down to 2.