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AIBU?

To like being called my first name?

98 replies

pinktrufflechoc · 03/08/2015 09:26

Inspired by the 'dad' thread

DC have taken to doing this rather than 'mum' and I was telling someone about it the other day who was shocked I permitted such cheek!

I'd just been ignoring it but when I stopped to analyse it I realised I actually really liked it.

What do your DCs call you, and would you think it cheeky if they called you by your first name?

OP posts:

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pinktrufflechoc · 04/08/2015 07:53

I think I like my first name because it does feel more intimate and less like a title.

OP posts:

MummyPig24 · 04/08/2015 07:31

I wouldn't think it cheeky. I don't think I'd mind but I do like being called Mummy. I am only their mummy and that's special.

crustsaway · 03/08/2015 23:34

DS who's nearly 18 calls me mum but when I ignore it he calls me by my name and it works

littlejohnnydory · 03/08/2015 23:30

My children call me Mummy. I have a couple of friends whose children call them by their first name...it does jar with me, can't explain why. I also love being Mummy, always wanted to be one and it's special. I don't see it as a sign of respect, more of intimacy. I don't think I'd mind if they used my first name as adults. I don't want to be 'Mum' because that's what I call my Mother, it makes me shudder.

My family carry on saying "Aunty X and Uncle Y" into adulthood. Remember my mum telling me off fir usibg her brother's first name without "Uncle" even after he had told me to drop it (I was about 20!)...so I'm guessing they would find first names disrespectful. My grandparents certainly would have. But my children are my equals, I respect them and expect to earn theur respect, not be respected just for being older and giving birth to them.

FloppyRagdoll · 03/08/2015 22:56

DS (24) and DD2 (20) call me "mum"; for some reason, DD1 (22) is more likely to say "Mumma" or "Mummy". A few years ago, when she was about 15, DD2 started calling me by my middle name. (Which nobody ever uses.) She still does so when she wants to boss me. Um, so that would be most of the time then. I like it, so YANBU, OP

When I was growing up, my cousin used to call his mother either by her first name or a nickname, "Chrissychops". This would have been in the early 70s. My parents and grandmother were all a bit shocked, I think; but I remember thinking it was lovely to have that kind of relationship with a mother.

When I turned 18, all my aunts and uncles, including the "courtesy" ones who were friends of my parents, invited me to call them by their first names, rather than "Aunt so-and-so" or whatever. At the age of 53, I still feel somewhat uncomfortable doing that and I am far more likely to use the title.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 03/08/2015 22:37

Whatever. I won't allow anyone other than my children to call me Mum. It sounds bloody ridiculous.

BanditoShipman · 03/08/2015 22:36

But Starfish, if you know some people don't like you referring to them as 'mum' when they're quite clearly not your mum, and you are working in an environment where this is likely to happen, why not just not do it? Doesn't seem difficult really.

pinktrufflechoc · 03/08/2015 22:23

Fair enough :)

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nooka · 03/08/2015 22:22

Generally as I understand it the polite thing to do is to ask the person you are talking to how they want to be addressed and not assume that they are perfectly happy to be called whatever you choose. Being referred to as a generic 'mum' is irritating to many people, knowing that isn't it better to avoid it?

My children are teenagers but I never did babytalk with them, and I've no idea why they should find 'your mum' any harder than 'mum', the idea that there might be many mums is surely one they come across from a very very young age. Anyway I don't so much mind my child being asked to 'get mum a chair', but I do object to 'how are you today mum?', especially if it's from a key worker who really should know my name. It's really lazy. I'd not say 'fine thank you key worker' in response after all.

SoupDragon · 03/08/2015 22:13

Eh? That was in response to something thehouseonbellst said, not you OP. A side argument :)

SoupDragon · 03/08/2015 22:12

Anyway, it's all irrelevant to this thread and somewhat derailing.

I'm off.

pinktrufflechoc · 03/08/2015 22:11

Blimey soup I was only chatting!

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SoupDragon · 03/08/2015 22:09

The consensus is split

In which case it isn't a consensus at all is it? there is no such thing as "the MN consensus" on anything at all and never has been over the years I've been here.

I couldn't give a stuff.
I bet the vast majority of the 1,699,123 members who couldn't be arsed to comment don't give a stuff either.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 03/08/2015 21:58

HP like "Saaaannndraaaaa can I have a pooooom beeeaaar?"

pinktrufflechoc · 03/08/2015 21:55

The main thing I worry about is being called Mum/Mummy by the younger two and first name by DC1.

I know it's silly but I feel they should all call me the same!

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HPsauciness · 03/08/2015 21:54

I just love love love being someone's 'mummy' and/or 'mum'. I love my own mum who is very mummy-like and could never call her by her first name, so I would find it strange if my children did that. But I don't think they ever will. It's so nice to have a mum persona that's separate from work (where I'm Dr HP), I find it really special and for me, part of that is being called 'mum' or 'mummy'.

I do know a little girl who calls her mum by her first name though, but what is quite funny is that she repeats it just like a whingeing child saying 'mumeeeee' all the time, the intonation is just the same.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 03/08/2015 21:53

previous thread about it

another one

yet another

I could go on. The consensus is split on these threads but leans towards the "Don't call me Mum unless you're my Mum"

Hygge · 03/08/2015 21:52

I don't mind if DS uses my name sometimes. He is six and calls me Mum, but occasionally he's called me by my name, just to try it out I think, when he realised that we (me, DH, his grandparents etc) had real names that weren't Mum and Dad and Grandma and Granddad.

DH was a bit shocked at first, he said it was rude and cheeky, but that's down to how his own parents would have reacted. They were very rigid about things like that. I asked him why he was that bothered and he didn't know. He realised he was hung up by their issues, and it wasn't actually his own opinion. DH was the same if DS says he or she as well. There was the whole "who's she" nonsense, but that's never bothered me either.

I like Mum. It took me a long time and a lot of heartbreak to get the name, but I'm not going to tell DS my name is off limits or that he's being rude or cheeky by using it.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 03/08/2015 21:50

Soup there have been a number of threads on that very issue (calling parents Mum or Dad when they're not your own) over the 6 years I've been here.

She's asked a few mates over one night. I think MN consensus would be the one I'd listen to.

Smartiepants79 · 03/08/2015 21:45

I have no issue with anyone calling me 'mum' whilst my child is in the room. Especially if I'm talking to someone in relation to my child, so, GP or teacher.
I expect the professional to remember my daughters name but not necessarily mine. My DDs teacher doesn't know my first name. The use of Mrs/miss/ms and same surname/different surname is a minefield. I know, I'm a teacher.
Whatever you say you annoy (some) people.
I've never come across a professional speaking about a person as 'mum' or 'dad' as though they were their own parents. Or in a patronising manner.
I refer to my pupils parents as mum/dad in the childs presence.
I am her mum. No, it's not the only thing I am but I some contexts it's just who I am.

SquareStarfish · 03/08/2015 21:42

When all 1.7 million comment on here I might change my mind

(And what soupdragon said)

SoupDragon · 03/08/2015 21:38

I don't think it would do any harm if the relationship is otherwise solid.

I agree. You do whatever is right for your family.

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SoupDragon · 03/08/2015 21:36

I would be tempted to go with the MN consensus

What consensus would that be?
Have the whole 1.7 million members expressed an opinion or just a "fair few"?
Personally, I bet the majority couldn't give a stuff. As a rule, only those who feel strongly about something make a comment, the others see it as nothing.

fleamadonna · 03/08/2015 21:09

I had a boyfriend when I was a teen who called his parents by their first names. span me out when we were first seeing each other.

"hey john, you coming to the pub tonight?"
"nah, Lauren is cooking me dinner."
"who the f is Lauren!?!?"
"um. my mother."

pinktrufflechoc · 03/08/2015 21:06

I don't think it would do any harm if the relationship is otherwise solid.

I was surprised at how shocked my friend was!

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