Wedding invitation

[PaintedTshirt]

Never thought I'd be doing one of these, but here it goes!

The wedding is that of (very) extended family, but we all see eachother fairly regularly at events and so. Have known the bride for years, but as I say through extended family on DH's side.

If we (DH and I) hadn't been invited I wouldn't have batted an eyelid, but as it happens DH is invited and I am not. I'm really surprised with how upset I feel . He's only invited to the evening and I know me coming too would make no difference to numbers or cost.

So AIBU to feel like shit? I'm not sure how many of the in laws are invited yet, but at a guess it's everyone except me

[Dunkyourcustardcream]

Totally agree with officervanhalen

[FishWithABicycle]

You may never know if it was a genuine mistake but I think you should go if you possibly can - not going would be seen as having taken massive offense and now bearing a grudge, it could develop into a rift in the family. Take their word that it was a mistake with grace, and forgive and forget.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

I think if it's a mistake, and I'd made it, I would be phoning you to apologise!

In your place, if I didn't get a phonecall, I'd be wary of going - but now you have got an invitation (apparently) it could be seen as petty and churlish not to go, so I supposed I would go.

I once had to ask someone if I was actually invited to their wedding, as everyone else had received their invitations, and mine hadn't turned up, despite me supposedly being included, and being asked to bring along some sound system equipment. That was embarrassing! I got round it by sending an email saying that I didn't know whether to send the stuff with friend A (going to the whole thing) or friend B (only to the evening) as I didn't have an invitation so didn't know what if anything I was invited to. Got the invitation a couple of days later, for the whole thing, so I like to think that the original did actually get lost in the post (I'd lost a few things in the post during that period, so not inconceivable). STILL very embarrassing having to do it though!

[BrockAuLit]

I think they've been embarrassed into this (at best).

I would be making nice, non-committal noises about planning to come but at crunch time not go (prob using kids as an excuse). I really wouldn't want to be somewhere I'm not wanted, and would insist that DH go and enjoy himself (not his fault after all).

[CrapBag]

I would assume the card was meant for DCs and they forgot to put your name on it or it was not meant to be in there at all.

You are invited you said the you get on with them so I don't see what the problem is.

[Jackie0]

Yes embarrassing, for THEM

[PaintedTshirt]

Yes I know that is a likely possibility. Maybe I'm being a mug

It's all so embarrassing.

[hibbledibble]

Unless the card was intended to be about your dc, it doesn't seem like a mistake.

I would worry that they have been embarrassed into inviting you.

[Happyringo]

Ah X post

[Happyringo]

The invitation was addressed to DH alone, and a card inside explicitly stating that the invitation was for those named only?

And now they say it was a 'mistake'?

Sounds like they've been called out on their rudeness and are embarrassed. I'd be hurt as well OP and I don't think I would be able to go.

How did you find out it was a mistake?

[PaintedTshirt]

DH mentioned it to family member A, who told B...etc. we are all related so it doesn't take long for the word to spread!

I do believe it was a mistake now I've had time to reflect, because it was so strange for me not to be invited (me and DH are clearly joint at the hip ). Also I really do like the bride and don't want to cause any tension, so I'll most likely go.

[Jackie0]

Did your dh ask them?
How did you find out it was a 'mistake'?
I'd still not go but that's just me.

[Number12]

That's a shame you've got another wedding that day haven't you! !

[Mrsjayy]

Oh just read on awkward what are you going to do

[MissDemelzaCarne]

How did you find out?

[AliceAlice1979]

You name them. Ah ffs, big fingers, small phone.

[AliceAlice1979]

I'm pleased you are invited op. Do you know what happened? Oversight on their part? Change of heart? They read MN?!
Is it just me or does anyone Els think the printed card is rude. If you invite people you bane them on the invite, you don't add a note to say oh a btw no one else can come?

[Mrsjayy]

Thats strange i get they might not be able to afford everybody but its a night Do a dance a drink and a sausage roll is what happens night time is usually a free for all ime

[Shapebandit]

I expect the card was meant to make it clear that only the 2 of you were invited and not the kids.

[Nolim]

Maybe the bride and grooms are mumsnetters and changed their minds

[LilyMayViolet]

Well, in fairness people do make mistakes and weddings can be a bit of a nightmare. I'm on the fence about it but I think on balance it is unreasonable to do this. I say on balance because I can imagine if someone is only having a tiny wedding and they don't even know the partners of some of the guests, have never met them even. I know it's a celebration of marriage but it's their marriage not everyone else's!

I'd probably feel upset in your shoes too though op. Will you go?

[clam]

How did you hear it was a mistake?

[LondonLady29]

Hmm it's awkward and weird now but what can you do? Just go and put a brave face on. I wouldn't forget it though I think they regretted it and changed it last minute.

[MiddleAgedandConfused]

I'd just take this at face value - accept the invite graciously and go and enjoy yourself.
I'm glad this has been resolved - this is the best outcome to avoid a family argument.