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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To still not know whether or not to go for interview?

94 replies

elderflowerlemonade · 01/07/2015 11:18

I have an interview for a teaching position.

If I were to be offered the post, my salary would effectively be wiped out by childcare costs. I would have two very young children (both under 2) in full time childcare. There would be few if any financial benefits as a result.

But there are all the usual arguments for going back to work - I am a crap SAHM; I am bored; my pension and so on.

But DH keeps saying why don't i just leave it another year so DD has some free hours and I will in his words make a profit and I am reluctantly seeing what he means.

WIBU to pull out? It does seem a bit stupid ...

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1stMrsF · 01/07/2015 12:53

Interview always worth it for the experience - could be a good confidence boost, help you explore whether you want the job or not, which could help decide the broader do I want to work question? Good luck if you decide to go.

Original poster
elderflowerlemonade · 01/07/2015 12:54

Oh - him staying at home did you mean? Sorry - it's not you, it's me!

I said that to him a couple of days ago and he said that we couldn't do that because I'd change my mind after a few months and want to be home again and would expect him to sort out the mess I'd made.

Plus he earns a lot more.

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Original poster
elderflowerlemonade · 01/07/2015 12:54

I'm leaning towards going because of you lot Smile

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NinkyNonkers · 01/07/2015 12:55

The only thing I would say is that teaching interviews are hard (as I'm sure you know), and if you are offered it it tends to be there and then which could put you in an awkward position. Equally, schools put a lot into an interview. I wouldn't go unless I thought I would take it if offered.

NinkyNonkers · 01/07/2015 12:57

But your DH sounds like a bit of an arse (sorry), I'd probably go for it to annoy him if nothing else.

Original poster
elderflowerlemonade · 01/07/2015 13:02

I know Ninky, that is why I posted really as if I go I definitely want to know I want it, if you see what I mean (and Grin)

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ASettlerOfCatan · 01/07/2015 13:04

If its teaching childcare may not be as much as you think. Check childminders rather than nursery as you may be able to get care that finishes at 5 instead of 6 and which allows bigger unpaid breaks in holidays.

Work is about your mental health as well as money. Also keeping experience up to date. Go for the interview.

JassyRadlett · 01/07/2015 13:07

I said that to him a couple of days ago and he said that we couldn't do that because I'd change my mind after a few months and want to be home again and would expect him to sort out the mess I'd made.

After hearing that twattish comment, definitely go, and definitely take it. What a twattish and infantilising thing to say.

DorisLessingsCat · 01/07/2015 13:07
  1. Pension benefits.
  2. Reducing career break and therefore increasing future promotion chances.
  3. Increasing financial resilience for your family (what if your DH died / was unable to work / lost his job).

All great reasons for going back to work. It's shortsighted just to look at childcare costs.

Plus, working full time, your DH should do 50% of the household and childcare jobs. So his motivation in saying you should stay at home may not be entirely financial.

whois · 01/07/2015 13:10

If you don't absolutely 100% want to be at home, then you should go for the interview. It's only a year of the money not being worthwhile but all that time you are paying into your pension and climbing the ladder, so reaping future benefits. Also easier to go back to work with a short break compared to a longer break.

Original poster
elderflowerlemonade · 01/07/2015 13:11

Thank you.

Ive been exploring the possibility of a live in nanny as the babies are so young and because it would help a bit with the house (DH won't.) So it would be expensive but childcare has to be what's best for them and to be honest the cost is much the same as we have a school age child too and he's lovely and helpful but still too young to be just left.

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redsquareyellowsquare · 01/07/2015 13:13

If I were you I would just do whichever option makes you happy! There is no right or wrong. I might be a bit surprised if you were suggesting working ft and lowering your overall monthly income (although there are people who do that too!).

On a separate note (and I know its not what you asked, so feel free not to answer me), have you previously worked as a teacher? As in, do you know what you are letting yourself in for hours wise?

Good luck at the interview!

Original poster
elderflowerlemonade · 01/07/2015 13:24

Yes I've worked as a teacher. I didn't seem to experience the work/life balance struggle much.

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redsquareyellowsquare · 01/07/2015 13:35

Its not that I think the hours are particularly bad, rather that (in my opinion) it is worth having some paid for childcare after school (in the 3-6ish) slot, if you can. Anyway, seems like you have it covered.

All the best - sounds exciting!

fastdaytears · 01/07/2015 13:49

DO IT!!

Treats · 01/07/2015 13:54

So - if the same money is coming in to the house regardless of whether you're staying at home or working, it's not a financial decision.

If your husband's daily routine carries on pretty much as it did whether you're staying at home or working, it doesn't affect him, so it's not his decision.

So it comes down to whatever YOU want to do. Hurrah!

Although, regardless, I'd be having some sharp words with him about the lack of input to the housework.

Original poster
elderflowerlemonade · 01/07/2015 14:07

Yes, it's just always been what I do, as he works longer hours, but I am not very good at it Blush I used to be Hmm

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hibbledibble · 01/07/2015 14:18

Could you get a cleaner as you will be slightly better off working?

It would be pretty exhausting otherwise. I certainly never wanted to clean when I got back from a long day of work.

OOAOML · 01/07/2015 15:16

Have you worked out the figures post-tax? Have you factored in pension impact (eg making contributions now rather than in a year, any tax efficient savings)? is it full time or would they be open to part time?

If you want to work even if for few (initial) financial benefits then do it. In fact, even if you're not sure do the interview - you can always decline if it doesn't feel right.

Original poster
elderflowerlemonade · 01/07/2015 15:27

I'd be chancing my arm with a cleaner but in all honesty it's mess rather than dirt that's the issue which a cleaner wouldn't solve.

I doubt the post would be considered for part time - they'd have said otherwise.

We'll see Smile

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JassyRadlett · 01/07/2015 15:51

I'd be chancing my arm with a cleaner but in all honesty it's mess rather than dirt that's the issue which a cleaner wouldn't solve.

My cleaner is a whizz at tidying when we've been a bit slack. And knowing she's coming makes us a bit tidier anyway!

Honestly, your DH is coming across as a bit of a bully. He has a choice here if you decide to go back to work. Either he picks up 50% of the housework, or he agrees to a cleaner coming in.

JassyRadlett · 01/07/2015 15:55

If you want to work even if for few (initial) financial benefits then do it. In fact, even if you're not sure do the interview - you can always decline if it doesn't feel right.

And remember as well that from September instead of childcare vouchers the new system kicks in, which pays 20% of your childcare costs up to £2k contribution per child. That might make a difference to your calculations if not already factored in.

JassyRadlett · 01/07/2015 16:16

Argh. Except I've just seen that due to a legal challenge by the childcare voucher companies, the implementation for tax free childcare has been put back to early 2017. The Supreme Court upheld the new system but it's obviously caused a delay. Fuckers.

Original poster
elderflowerlemonade · 01/07/2015 19:06

Thanks.

Oh, I don't know.

It seems quite cruel to put a 5 month old in FT childcare when i don't really need to?

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Original poster
elderflowerlemonade · 02/07/2015 16:13

They have offered me the post, if anyone was interested, but I'm so unbelievably exhausted and drained.

I need a sleep.

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