To ask someone sitting in my reserved seat on a train to move?

[walterwhitesgf]

Yesterday I boarded my train home, which was full and found someone in my reserved seat. Not unusual in itself .There were two young women, obviously together in the pair of seats, one of which was mine, the window seat. I said 'I'm sorry I think you are in my seat ' to the one in my seat . Much eye rolling and huffing on her part and she said snappily 'well you may have a reserved seat but in which coach? I replied 'in this one, Coach C '. More huffing but she did start to get up and squeezed out past her her friend in the aisle seat. She didn't get up for me to get into my seat just turned sideways and indicated I should just squeeze past. Anyone who travels by train will know its almost impossible to do that so I had to ask the young woman to get up so I could take my seat. She was very unhappy about it and they both started moaning about having to move again. Then someone else came along who had reserved the seat next to me i.e. the one the second young woman was settling herself back down in. You can imagine the result ... she did move for this man but was very very unhappy about doing so. Anyway the reason I am posting is , a few minutes later I overheard a man saying to his partner that he didn't think we should have asked them to move as they were settled in their seats. His partner disagreed . All the seats have a display which indicates if the seats are reserved or not and from which station to which destination, so these young women knew they were in a seat that someone else had reserved. I have never felt bad before about asking someone to move but the overheard conversation made me feel uncomfortable , I am not sure why. Minor wrinkle in a day I know I just wondered what other people felt

[DowntownFunk]

I had a table seat reserved and the woman sitting in it initially refused to move. I said "either move or I'll get THE MAN". She moved. Of course I was left for the rest of the journey sitting with her 3 friends who gave me daggers the whole time. I thought it was funny.

DH and I were on a train where a couple came on and moved a mother and her 4 year old from their facing table seat. The mother argued, but it wasn't her seat. The 4 year old then had the daddy of all tantrums, chucking his Lego everywhere. He continued screaming for ages because he'd lost some of his lego. The bloke from the couple collected some of the bits from under his seat, bumping his head on the table in the process. The kid then totally blew his top as it was the WRONG LEGO. Then he spied DH's chips (we were hungover and had brought a cheeky burger king on to the train) and started screaming for chips. The trolley came round and the child was refused a snack as it was apparently too expensive. Mum did get herself a coffee (surprised she didn't go for vodka). Packed lunch came out but the sarnies and apple just weren't cutting it. It was an interesting 3 hours on the train.

The problem is two fold, rude people and the train companies not putting on enough carriages. I once had to stand for over two hours in a space with another 17 people by the door. We'd paid over £200 for the tickets all in. One guy had brought a folding chair as he said the train was the same every week.

[Hygge]

We booked train tickets on-line and reserved the seats. We were going to a city we'd never been to before, and had to change at one station to travel to the side of the city we wanted to be at.

Someone was in our reserved seats on the second train, DH told them, they moved. I was just muttering to DH that since we weren't going far we could have let them sit there when we arrived at the station we wanted to be at!

Our journey took less than two minutes from the one station to the other. We thought we'd be traveling for a lot longer than that.

The man across the aisle was overjoyed that DH had asked people to move, so we could sit down for mere seconds of train travel. He was still laughing as the train pulled away and gave us the biggest, most cheerful wave.

Other than that one cringy moment, YANBU to ask people to move from a seat you've paid to reserve, especially if other seats are available.

[SayThisOnlyOnce]

There is always someone sitting in my seat. Every bloody time. I always tell them they are in my seat but I never say 'I'm sorry' because quite frankly, I'm not!

I reserve lovely table seats, forward facing with a power socket. MINE ALL MINE.

[morelikeguidelines]

Yanbu .

I think this had long been an aibu consensus though.

[TheWernethWife]

If the man you overheard was so bothered why didn't he offer one of them his seat. No, thought not - what a knob.

[GoblinLittleOwl]

You are lucky they moved; twice I reserved a seat and twice the person occupying it refused to move. I told the guard the second time and he upgraded me to first class, but I think he should have made the occupier move; I was with a group of people and would have preferred to spend the journey with them.

[Pumpeedo]

Unless the reserved seat was occupied by a cripple, elderly person, expectant mother or a frazzled mother with a child on her lap then I'd evict them without giving a second thought. Cheeky bastards.

[lushilaoshi]

YANBU. There is something about train travel that brings out the selfishness and rudeness in some people. Like when I used to get on the train every morning on my commute to work in London, and the vestibule was packed but the aisle empty yet people REFUSED to move further down the aisle to let people on. I used to announce loudly 'could the person in the green jumper please move down the aisle' and they would usually look a bit ashamed and shift.

[walterwhitesgf]

I shall be more assertive and less apologetic if I have to, politely of course, ask someone to move again. Its true that the seated man who thought me and the man next to me were wrong to ask the girls to move didn't offer his own seat . Its quite depressing to know that this happens so often. Why do people argue the point when they know they haven't reserved their seat? I know that there is always at least one coach on my train that cannot be reserved but I suppose the crux of the problem is overselling of tickets. I don't know how you solve that especially on a route like mine that travels between large cities and has many stops

[ChuffinAda]

Yanbu

But in my youth I used to remove the reservation cards and feign ignorance, shrug my shoulders and say 'what can you do?'

I cringe looking back

[railwayworker]

Just to be clear, seat reservations are free so all of you mentioning the seats you've paid to reserve have either got your wires crossed or you've been fleeced somewhere!

That said, yanbu at all to ask someone to move from your reserved seat. only if the reservation system has failed do I not enforce seat reservations if asked (nicely!) for help.

[SycamoreMum]

I think they mean they've paid for a seat and requested it be reserved not actually paying a separate price for it to be reserved.

[SqueezyCheeseWeasel]

YANBU. That's the whole point of reserving your seat.

[railwayworker]

Sycamoremum hopefully, but I've had people yelling at me about why on earth they pay to reserve a seat when it can't be honoured, so some definitely get it wrong.

[ProcrastinatorGeneral]

I was proud of my twelve year old on a journey from Edinburgh to York over Easter; she had the tickets and the toddler, I had the luggage and the child with ASD. She found our seats, turfed out the seat stealers and got the toddler sorted with the tablet before I even got down the carriage. I doubt she'll ever have problems :o

[Yarp]

YANBU

Nowadays, though, I don't say 'sorry' and I don't say 'I think you are in my seat'

They know full well and they should be sorry. So be polite, smiley, but assertive

[CordeliaFrost]

Procrastinator - is your DD available for training purposes?!

[RandomFriend]

YANBU. The young women knew that the seats were reserved and should have moved with good grace as soon as you arrived.

[Katisha]

Personally I find the whole seat reservation thing a PITA. Every Single Stop on a long journey involves people getting on, becoming anxious, having to ask people to move.
I don't think the seat reservation system adds to the sum of human happiness. Just get on the train and sit where you can and without fear of someone coming along and trying to move you later on..

[PickleSarnie]

YANBU

But as far as the assumption that "everyone can reserve a seat so thats what they should have done" goes, that's not true. People with season tickets costing thousands of pounds a year can't reserve seats. Yet people paying peanuts for a cheap advance ticket can't. But that's a whole different grumble. If you've reserved a seat then you've got the right to sit in it.

[PickleSarnie]

"advance ticket can" not "can't"

[LottieMumofWilfJenkins]

I always make people move out of my reserved seat. Last year i was travelling with ds2's best friend (also autistic) we got on one stop into the journey and there was a man asleep in one seat with his bike helmet on the other. There was one empty seat behind us so he moved with much huffing and puffing !

[SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker]

I think it is a little tiny bit unreasonable if there are lots of empty seats that are the same on the carriage e.g. you and the person sitting in your seat are the only ones there and it isn't a forward facing table seat on the side where you can see the city lights. Otherwise no, go to town.

[CocktailQueen]

Yanbu, and I did just the same on a recent train trip. The woman said about 8 times that she didn't see the electronic reservation sign. Tough. My seat. Reserve one yourself!

[ProcrastinatorGeneral]

Cordelia apparently all you need is your sassy pants.

I don't speak fluent twelve year old, but I'm led to assume that means something:o