To ask someone sitting in my reserved seat on a train to move?

[walterwhitesgf]

Yesterday I boarded my train home, which was full and found someone in my reserved seat. Not unusual in itself .There were two young women, obviously together in the pair of seats, one of which was mine, the window seat. I said 'I'm sorry I think you are in my seat ' to the one in my seat . Much eye rolling and huffing on her part and she said snappily 'well you may have a reserved seat but in which coach? I replied 'in this one, Coach C '. More huffing but she did start to get up and squeezed out past her her friend in the aisle seat. She didn't get up for me to get into my seat just turned sideways and indicated I should just squeeze past. Anyone who travels by train will know its almost impossible to do that so I had to ask the young woman to get up so I could take my seat. She was very unhappy about it and they both started moaning about having to move again. Then someone else came along who had reserved the seat next to me i.e. the one the second young woman was settling herself back down in. You can imagine the result ... she did move for this man but was very very unhappy about doing so. Anyway the reason I am posting is , a few minutes later I overheard a man saying to his partner that he didn't think we should have asked them to move as they were settled in their seats. His partner disagreed . All the seats have a display which indicates if the seats are reserved or not and from which station to which destination, so these young women knew they were in a seat that someone else had reserved. I have never felt bad before about asking someone to move but the overheard conversation made me feel uncomfortable , I am not sure why. Minor wrinkle in a day I know I just wondered what other people felt

[BabyFeets]

Nope YANBU you reserved the seat, if that was me I would of said sorry, moved and not made a fuss. She wants a seat she can reserve one

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

When I was a student, I was getting the train down from Crewe to London, to see dh (then dfiance). I had reserved a seat, because I knew that train was often very busy - and when I got on, someone was sitting in my seat - the forward facing window seat of a group of four - but the forward facing aisle seat was empty, so I went to sit down in it.

The person in my reserved seat told me I couldn't sit in the empty seat, because they had reserved it - there were three of them, travelling together from some management conference, by the looks - and they had clearly decided that if they left one of their reserved seats empty, and used mine, they might not have to share with a stranger.

Anyway - I put my foot down - I'd have had no issue with sitting in the aisle seat, but the fact that the chap wanted to use my seat AND keep his own reserved seat empty, made me see red, so I told him he was in my reserved seat, and I wanted him to move, please!

He did get out, and let me sit in my seat - and from overhearing their conversation during the rest of the journey, I learned what sort of management conference they'd been on - it was an Assertiveness course. I did wonder about suggesting he asked for his money back, since I, a student travelling alone, had clearly managed to be more assertive than him and his friends, without benefit of Management training!

[manicinsomniac]

YANBU

I don't think people should sit in reserved seats until the train has started moving either - even if they do intend to move. I don't tend to reserve seats but, if I did, and saw someone was sitting in it, I wouldn't have the courage to ask them to move so the other person wouldn't even know I had got on the train. I'm not massively shy so not sure I'm that unusual in that.

Someone said upthread that very often they don't get on the train - how likely is it that hordes of people would pay for a seat and not catch the train? I think it's more likely that they see someone in their seat and quietly slink away.

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

how likely is it that hordes of people would pay for a seat and not catch the train?

It's not that they have paid for the seat - they have reserved it. Generally if you buy train tickets in advance it will automatically reserve you a seat - if your ticket allows you to travel on a different train (and most do on the return leg) then people often travel earlier or later, but their reservation still exists.

[Icimoi]

If people don't want to move once they have settled into a seat, there's a very simple method of achieving it. Just don't sit in a reserved seat.

[dixiechick1975]

YANBU. No idea why they don't book a seat.

3 of us were travelling together. 2 women, one of them in one of our seats. So DD and I sit and DH politely says to woman you are in my reserved seat.

The electronic display wasn't working but we had the ticket showing it was reserved. The woman rudely argued the toss. DH tucked in to a seat behind so he wasn't blocking the aisle whilst the conversation went on. A man then came up and said to DH that is my reserved seat - DH said yes i'm just waiting for woman to move out of mine.

She did then move with much huffing, moaning and filthy looks. Her friend looked mortified and said nothing.

Part way into the journey I noticed a small boutique bag had been left - looked like it had something expensive in. DH said ignore it but I walked down the train to find them. Woman gave me a filthy look as I smiled and said I think you left this.

[AlpacaPicnic]

YASNBU to ask them to move...

I had this last week - unusually I had to do a bit of travelling with some colleagues so had reserved seats on every train as we didn't want to turn up to our appointments tired and scruffy.
Almost every evening, someone was sitting in our seats, so we'd politely ask them to move, and in fairness most people did. One woman got the arse with us, and tried to blank us. We had to get quite pointed with her and in the end she moved into an empty, unreserved seat in front of ours. (We had a table of four booked as we needed to do some work together on the way home, otherwise we might not have been so pedantic)
Oh, how we enjoyed listening to her getting fined for having an invalid ticket and travelling without her railcard!

[echt]

OP, your only error was in saying " I'm sorry" to preface your saying she was in your seat. You had nothing to apologise for.

[MorrisZapp]

Of course YANBU, as you know.

I always reserve a seat, but often sit somewhere else if I can find a double seat or a seat I prefer. So my reserved seat goes free.

I do laugh though at groups of four strangers sharing a table in an otherwise empty carriage because these are THEIR SEATS.

I want the best seat I can get. I sometimes move three times between Edinburgh and London :)

[barbecue]

YANBU. If you took the trouble to reserve a seat, you get to sit in it. Ignore any huffiness.

It makes no difference if "there are other seats you could take" (why don't they take them?) The train may get busy later and you might get asked to move later by someone who's reserved that one, or you might leave the seat for a short time and return to find someone in it. So it's definitely best to take your reserved seat from the start.

[Meanandlow]

Well I reserved seats but someone was in them so sat elsewhere. Bad move! These seats too were reserved and we were forced to move, although train was near empty

[WannabeLaraCroft]

YANBU at all!!!

I truly don't understand why anyone would get arsey about this??

If I was sitting in a reserved seat I would apologise and move, even if it meant having to stand. It'd be my fault for not reserving!

I really don't get some people.

[frosch]

YANBU.

I experienced this a couple of months ago. Normally, I don't give two hoots where I sit but on this occasion, was flying out of London at dusk and reserved a window seat so I could see the city all lit up as I left (I miss London). Bloke was sat in my reserved seat, got huffy when I asked him (politely!) to move to his allocated seat. "It's just a seat," he grumped. "Then you won't mind moving, will you?" I replied. Grr.

[BarbarianMum]

YANBU

Generally, I'd always ask someone to move (unless there were lots of unreserved seats around). However, a couple of years ago I found an elderly lady sitting in my reserved seat on a very overcrowded train (think queues in the aisles). I did not ask her to move - I couldn't even ask the guard to find her/me another seat as he couldn't get through. Instead I stood and sulked for 2 hours.

[LamppostInWinter]

YANBU.

I got on a train recently, a bit frazzled, DS in sling, and sat in my reserved seat only for the person across the aisle to ask me to move because their friend was sitting there but had nipped to the loo. Don't think so sunshine.

[motheroftwoboys]

This happened to me on Sunday when travelling back from Huddersfield to Newcastle (two trains). First train fine, second train there was a child sitting in "my" facing window seat next to his mother. Two unreserved seats facing them. I politely asked for "my seat" . Much huffing and she said I could sit opposite. I pointed out that I had deliberately booked a FACING seat. However there was an empty facing elsewhere so I sat in it but why didn't they sit elsewhere when there were seats available. Odd!

[TriJo]

YANBU. Gets on my wick if I get on a train and someone sits in my reserved seat, I'll ask them to move every time. Their fault for not reserving their own, and it's incredibly selfish to take someone else's reserved seat.

[Angel1983]

I once had a 'discussion' with a power suited man on the 7.24 Newcastle to Kings Cross. I had reserved a seat weeks in advance and was careful to take my allocated seat.

Mr Suit loudly proclaimed that I was in his seat and demanded I move. I showed him my reservation and he looked at me like I had forged the document. Turned out his PA had booked him on the train in two days time! I even offered to move to another seat (as there were plenty spare) but he just seemed to want to humiliate me.

How I laughed when he had to buy a new ticket.....

[Pseudonym99]

Go to the buffet, buy a cup of tea, go back to your seat and accidentally spill it over them.

[RachelRagged]

YANBU

This happened to me once .. On a a long train journey, booked seats. Somebody sat in it when I got on train. He was fine though, no issues.

Glad you got your seat .. You paid for it, it was lit as reserved for you.

[JeanneDeMontbaston]

YANBU.

Isn't one of life's smaller pleasures turfing someone rude out of your reserved seat?

I had someone a while back who looked me up and down (I was a bit of a mess because I'd been running to get the train) and said in a very posh voice 'you can't reserve a seat' as if I'd bagsied it or something. I took far too much pleasure in getting the ticket bloke to explain to her that you definitely can! Cheeky sod.

[RachelRagged]

He did get out, and let me sit in my seat - and from overhearing their conversation during the rest of the journey, I learned what sort of management conference they'd been on - it was an Assertiveness course. I did wonder about suggesting he asked for his money back, since I, a student travelling alone, had clearly managed to be more assertive than him and his friends, without benefit of Management training!

ROFL

[RachelRagged]

Agggh never bolded again

[Orangeisthenewbanana]

YANBU. I wouldn't mind people sitting in a reserved seat, as such, but they have to be prepared that they could be asked to move at any time. I'd be more embarrassed than huffy if I'd taken someone's seat. What on earth did they think would happen? It's quite clear which seats are reserved.

[RedandYellowandGreenandBlue]

In the past year I have used Trainline twice to book advance tickets with reserved seats. First trip was London to Coventry returning same day for myself and DS1 to view the university. Both ways our reserved tickets were not showing (or had been removed) and the Virgin Rail staff refused to move the occupants. I was fuming as I had booked facing with a table for a specific reason (DS1 has ASD and cannot cope with rear facing seats).

Virgin never replied to email complaint.

Second time was beginning of this month, London to Cardiff return with DD1 to see 1D. Outward train had been ticketed in reverse format by mistake. Announcements were made that this meant that all reservations were void!! Luckily we were first on the carriage so we had the pick of seats, but it was chaos.

Return journey, again train was ticketed in reverse, but no announcement was made. We gave up and sat anywhere. Meant that somewhere on the train either our seats were empty or someone was sitting in our seats.