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AIBU?

AIBU of a massive overreaction...

72 replies

Misshatter · 27/06/2015 09:08

Long time lurker first time poster, could be long...
I very very rarely drink, due to a rather awful medication that I have to take. If I do decide to drink it is quite literally one drink.
I went out last night with a friend, been out just the two of us many many times with absolutely no problems. Last night however some of my friends friends were also out.
I had decided earlier on in the night that I fancied a drink, one drink and at about 11pm ordered myself one single vodka. After my one vodka I went back to drinking lemonade/water whenever I went to the bar.
My friend however decided that when going to the bar to purchase a round they would buy me a vodka anyway. The last thing that I remember is having a huge rant at my friend for spiking my drinks.
I really don't remember leaving the pub or getting home.
I've had a text message this morning about what a great night it was and just how funny I was, I'm absolutely livid and the more I think about it the angrier I get! I keep thinking that if my friends friends weren't out then they would never have spiked my drinks.
Aibu to think that you don't spike a persons drink, nevermind someone who isn't drinking for medical reasons!

OP posts:

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WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 27/06/2015 11:48

Because they thought thats what she wanted, that was meant to say!

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WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 27/06/2015 11:47

Lots of conclusions being drawn here, its quite possible that OP's friend knew she has been drinking vodka and therefore bought them a vodka.

If you say can't drink for serious medical reasons and then you are seen with vodka, understandbly people will imagine you actually can drink vodka. Because you are

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DoTheDuckFace · 27/06/2015 11:42

I am confused too?

Did you drink the second drink after you knew there was vodka in it?

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WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 27/06/2015 11:38

If your friends deliberately passed off a vodka and lemonade as a lemonade then you are quite right to be fucking livid with them.

It sounds like it could have been a cock up. It's happened to me (was bought doubles not singles - should have realised they tasted a bit strong).

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ASettlerOfCatan · 27/06/2015 11:22

As someone else mentioned it could also be that someone else got a lemonade and was too pissed to notice it didn't have vodka in it...

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ASettlerOfCatan · 27/06/2015 11:21

I wasn't trying to victim blame ffs. Spiking drinks is NOT ON but I don't think there is enough information. It could have been spiking or it could have been an honest mistake as the OP had drunk a vodka that night. If OPs friend was drunk herself when she bought the drinks she may not have thought. It does mention that this is quite late on in the night.

I was also misquoted as I say she can't AUTOMATICALLY call spiked as like I say it MAY have been spiked or it MAY have been a mistake. How is trying to look at BOTH sides victim blaming?

I have been a victim of spiking AND I've been victim to an HONEST MISTAKE. (I don't drink btw, it makes me very very very sick, even just a sip which yes I can totally taste in any drink.)

In the OPs circumstances EITHER of these could be a possibility. If the OPs friend has NO history of spiking her drinks why automatically assume she did it on purpose? Really we have no idea if this was just a bunch of friends getting drunk together laughing about it later. If they were all drunk the OPs friend may not even REMEMBER giving her a second vodka. She may have thought the OP got so drunk on ONE and was just joking in a "weren't we all so stupid last night" kind of a way that so many seem to do.

I did ask if the OP had been told the drink was just lemonade and say that if this was the case then she is absolutely right to be fuming. If she didn't ask/wasn't told then personally then you cannot really say for definate if it was a drunken mistake or a deliberate action.

Regardless I would be firm in saying "I didn't realise the drink you bought me had alcohol in it. It may have seemed funny to you BUT I am now suffering X. Please do NOT ever do this again. I can only cope with ONE drink."

Hope you are ok OP as it's NOT fun to have had alcohol when it has such a bad effect.

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Jessica2point0 · 27/06/2015 11:17

YANBU. Spiking drinks is very wrong, regardless of any medication. In fact, isn't it illegal?!

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Earthbound · 27/06/2015 11:06

So they bought you a vodka and passed it off to you as lemonade? Is that right? Fucking hell, that is all kinds of wrong. I would send Sylvanian's text too.

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IAmAPaleontologist · 27/06/2015 11:06

Amazed that anyone thinks it is the OP's fault, that her having had one drink means it doesn't matter that her "friends" slipped her a second one, or blaming her for not knowing that a virtually flavourless spirit that she wasn't expecting had been put into her drink. Is it that is was a joke amongst friends that leads people to forgive? Would you be so quick to blame the victim if it were a man slipping a little something into her drink?

And so the perpetuation of victim blaming and non belief in women lives on.

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JohnCusacksWife · 27/06/2015 11:05

Has your friend actually admitted she did this on purpose? I can see how it could be a mistake - it would be v easy for a lemonade to inadvertently get mixed up with a vodka and lemonade.

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MasterchefIwish · 27/06/2015 11:03

I can taste vodka in everything because I have been ill on it. However, if I have one gin I can no longer taste gin in my drinks. It may well be that way with the OP.

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MasterchefIwish · 27/06/2015 11:02

If your friends purposefully gave you vodka in your drink and told you it was lemonade when they knew you did not want to drink then they should be getting the full force of your anger. Disgraceful enough to do to anyone but doubly so knowing that you were on medication. With friends such as these, you really don't need enemies. While the text above is good and would certainly give them pause to think, they would try to turn it on you when they found you speaking falsely. I would amend the text to

I am glad I amused you. I cannot remember the night due to the alcohol mixing badly with the medication you knew that I was on. I'm quite ill as well as very upset at not being able to remember what should have be a lovely night. I am upset my friends would think it funny to spike my drinks despite knowing the reason I couldn't have more alcohol was because of my medication. I do not wish to see or speak to any of you right now. Not only did you betray my trust but you put me at a great risk by spiking my drinks when you knew alcohol does not react well with my medication. I don't feel I can trust you given this, especially as you today-while sober- you see it as funny. I am very disappointed in you and now must call my doctor to check that no damage has been done.

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tabulahrasa · 27/06/2015 11:01

I don't think it's the OP's fault, I'm just genuinely surprised that there are people who can't taste vodka in lemonade.

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redshoeblueshoe · 27/06/2015 10:57

I drink but I wouldn't be able to tell if lemonade had vodka in it - I'm amazed people can.
Your friend id a bitch
I hope this has no long term effects on your health.

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spanky2 · 27/06/2015 10:57

How can it be op's fault? Really disappointing that some posters think it could be!

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Jux · 27/06/2015 10:54

I think ethelb was referring to asettlerofcatan 's post; asettler's post was victim blaming, and I hope this doesn't reflect he way people generally behave in bars these days as imo what she said was outrageously stupid and thoughtless.

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chewymeringue · 27/06/2015 10:45

My brother had this happen to him years ago op, "friends" spiked his drinks because they thought him not drinking was weird and stupid. I don't blame you at all. They behaved inexcusably. Like you I can only drink a very small amount occasionally and if someone did that to me I'd be so ill.

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MyVisionsComeFromSoup · 27/06/2015 10:39

DD2 is 17, can't drink because of medication she's on, and wouldn't know what alcohol tastes like, particularly not vodka if it was mixed with lemonade. The first sign to her that it wasn't just lemonade would be when the paramedics were carrying her out to an ambulance . Not so unusual to not be able to tell I'd've said.

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BuildYourOwnSnowman · 27/06/2015 10:39

I don't really drink through choice. I might have one glass but rarely more. I get really sick of people trying to pressure me into drinking more and buying me drinks I didn't ask for because they think I should drink. The fact you have a medical reason makes it unforgivable.

I find some mixers mask the taste of the alcohol and some vodkas have a stronger taste than others too.

So yanbu - and all this 'well you had one so why shouldn't they assume you have more' - totally wrong - would you apply that to other things?

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Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 27/06/2015 10:37

Your 'friends' are idiots.

I'm on an immunosuppressant drug and can only have one, maybe two drinks. Any more and I will be very ill, but not till the next morning and for some days after.

Someone giving me more alcohol could also cause me permanent liver or kidney damage, even if its a small amount, because of the toxicity of the drugs I'm on.

I hope you are OK op, and I think you should let them know how serious the consequences could be for you, giving anyone drugs or alcohol without their consent is always wrong.

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NoArmaniNoPunani · 27/06/2015 10:35

I would also send Sylvanian's text.

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Lulu1083 · 27/06/2015 10:30

Ethelb WTF?

So because she had one vodka and they saw her drink it they're entitled to give her another without her knowing? Please look up what victim blaming is as I don't think you know what it means.

I think this is the relevant part of the OP - 'we've been out just the two of us many many times with no problems'.

The friend would know her attitude to alcohol, and the reasons behind it but decided to pull a stupid prank in front of their friends.

OP I'd be furious, in fact I'd never go out anywhere involving alcohol with them again, as you won't be able to trust them, and if they weren't extremely apologetic it would probably be the end of the friendship.

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Jux · 27/06/2015 10:28

I would send Sylvanians' text. I don't care whether they saw me drink vodka once, when a round is bought you get the drinks you're asked to get.

Your friend is either stupid, nasty, or 12 years old.

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Bunbaker · 27/06/2015 10:27

"Bit surprised that some of you seem to think it wasn't a big deal or that it was the op's fault for not tasting a pretty much tasteless alcohol diluted in a sweet drink when she wasn't expecting it to be there"

This ^^

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sallysparrow157 · 27/06/2015 10:24

A single vodka in a reasonably big glass of lemonade will basically taste like lemonade.
' I would never go to the bar and buy everyone a drink EXCEPT you, because that would be mean I would never go to the bar and buy everyone a drink EXCEPT you, because that would be mean' - what's wrong with just buying a soft drink if that's what the person you're buying for wants? For whatever reason - they might be driving (many people would be happy to have one small drink early in the night if they're driving), on medication, have plans for the next day, whatever. Surely when people are buying a round they ask what everyone wants?
OP has also said it was her friend (not the friends of friends) who decided to buy her more alcohol. The friend she has been out with many times before who as such knows she doesn't usually drink, the same friend who sent her a text this morning saying how funny she was which suggests to me it was done for entertainment rather than a genuine mistake.
I would be very unimpressed at the friend and wouldn't feel all that comfortable going out with them again.
Bit surprised that some of you seem to think it wasn't a big deal or that it was the op's fault for not tasting a pretty much tasteless alcohol diluted in a sweet drink when she wasn't expecting it to be there