To think this cat sitting is a bit much to ask

[Italiawithflair]

Ndn is going on holiday in June. We have previously cat sat for her which only involved going over 1x per day to check that the food machine had dispensed of the cat's dry food. This was no bother and I happily did this for the two weeks she was away.

So ndn came over a couple of days ago and asked if I could cat sit again as she was going away on holiday this week. I thought this was rather short notice (4 days before she goes away) but said yes immediately as I like to help out.

Yesterday she came to tell me that the cat now only eats wet food and that I will have to go over twice a day, morning and evening to actually give the cat food rather than just checking that there is food I the bowl. This involved washing the cat bowl and opening the can with yucky content and Will take much longer than what I thought I signed up for. I am a bit miffed that this is more committed net than what I had in mind.

Is she bu to expect this sort of service without flagging it before and without telling me what's involved?

I will do it this time but please tell me how to decline politely in the future.

[PeaceOfWildThings]

• she even came with us to a luxury hotel at new year, and an apartment holiday in the country where she managed to escape and worry me silly. My pets and my children are not my neighbours' responsibilities!

[KoalaDownUnder]

Actually, despite what I said before - twice a day is a bit rich when someone's doing you a favour. Normal cats don't need feeding twice a day.

I'd tell her I'm going over once a day and putting out double the food.

[logicalfallacy101]

I've got 2 cats and canned cat food gives me the dry heaves. Ask ndn to buy sachets. She's started to take you for granted. It's not just the 2x a day time factor, its the commitment involved. Possibly dead birds/mice to clean up!! And puke too. You need to be honest with ndn. I can sense resentment growing.

[HoldMeCloserTonyDanza]

I don't get the problem with it being "short notice". Surely short notice is best?! Because if you have already made commitments you are free to say "oh I can do this week but at the weekend I'm gone for two days visiting my parents".

I'd be raging if somebody wanted me to commit to being around to catsit in the summer, months in advance. There's a big chance we'd end up having to forgo something fun for it.

[Gabilan]

I'd be raging if somebody wanted me to commit to being around to catsit in the summer, months in advance. There's a big chance we'd end up having to forgo something fun for it

In that case I think I'd just say "I can't commit that far in advance as I don't know what my own plans are. If nearer the time you still haven't found anyone, ask me again and if I'm free I'd be happy to help".

I got caught out once, years ago when I was lodging with someone. We had agreed that in principal I would look after her cat and dog whilst she was in Australia for 3 weeks, a tripped planned for about 10 months after I moved in. However, in the meantime I got a job in another city meaning I was doing a weekly commute. It was a very good job and well worth the commute. It was only because it was a short term contract that I didn't move altogether. I worked things out so that she was covered for all but 3 days, by making sure my holiday coincided with hers and I gave her several months notice about those 3 days.

Cue a massive, enormous OTT strop with me. I was allowed to look after cat and dog whilst she was in Australia but after that, oh no. Whilst I was lodging in her house and freely available she would pay other people to stay in the house to feed cat and dog as I was apparently too unreliable.

What she doesn't know to this day is the number of times I bailed out her alternative pet sitters and had to get back to feed the pets and check on them. On one occasion I realised that if it weren't for me the dog would be on her own for 10+ hours so I sacked off down to Exmouth beach for the day. I got a plaintive phone call from the pet sitter at one point saying she was stuck in traffic + couldn't make it back. "Oh" I said "no problem, I'll do it" not bothering to mention that the dog was at that point on a train with me and begging a group of teenagers to feed her their KFC.

[missymayhemsmum]

Ask her to get some dry food in the dispenser as before as backup so if you can't fit in a second visit in the day the cat won't go hungry. So you visit once, put down wet and dry food and clean water, then check in if you have time later.
If that's not to her/ the cat's liking she needs to get a plan B.

[Andylion]

I once asked a friend-of-a-friend to cat sit, that is, stay at my place and "live" with my cats. This was years ago, we were younger, and she was living with her parents, so it would have been advantageous to her to have a place of her own for ten days. The day before I was leaving I called her up to ask when she was coming round so we could go over everything. She told me that she had changed her mind. Fortunately, my parents were able to take turns coming over, one, before work, in the morning, the other, after work, in the evening.

Some posters have said that you can get away with feeding cats once a day if you leave enough food out. One of mine couldn't eat like this (vet's order); I fed him twice and anything that wasn't eaten within an hour was removed.

[BertrandRussell]

"I'd be raging if somebody wanted me to commit to being around to catsit in the summer, months in advance. There's a big chance we'd end up having to forgo something fun for it."

Why would you be "raging"? Why wouldn't you just say "really sorry- we haven't made plans for the summer yet, I'm not sure where we'll be that week"?

[DosDuchas]

thats the norm with cat sitting surely?
twice a day

[Alisvolatpropiis]

You're being a bit weird.

[Andylion]

Just a thought, as the OP doesn't feel comfortable saying no, the suggestion that she ask NDN to provide sachets and paper plates to make it less gross might make it even more difficult for her to say "No" in the future. Nest time the NDN might approach her with, "Could you feed the cat? I've bought the sachets and paper plates so you can do it the way you prefer to."

[AdeleDazeem]

Our ndn asked us to mind their dog for them while they were away for a week. We agreed. They came back three and a half weeks later!

[ratsintheattic]

I don't feel comfortable asking neighbours for favours and our cat needs her litter tray cleaning out as well as feeding therefore I pay someone to come in and look after her.
Just say it's not convenient next time.

[QueenOfTheAlley]

YABU to only go round twice a day. If servants are selfish enough to bugger off the stand ins should at least wait on the poor moggy hand and foot.

[CatherineOfAbdomen]

I get you Op.
I'm amazed at some of the responses.

[ZaZathecat]

Italia I would give a lot more notice if asking for this - at least a month but usually more.

[ragged]

We were away 4.5 days & asked the neighbour to come in & refill the bowls.
I don't clean the bowls every day, more like once a week.
Neighbour offered to check the litter trays, too (cats could also go outside when they wanted).
For 4 visits & just keeping an eye on house for us, I paid neighbour £10.
Did OP say she's being paid (I think not)?
Our 4 days away cost a bomb & I saved a fortune on cattery fees.

YADNBU.

[BrowersBlues]

Italian, please say no. I like the sentence you have drafted it. Either drop a note through her door or tell her face to face. If you do the face to face option just say it aloud and then say have a lovely holiday and walk away.

I am curious to see what you will do. I cannot believe the temerity of her asking you to commit yourself for two weeks and more than anything I can't believe she told you four days before she is scheduled to go.

If you can't face saying no, just knock on her door and say you have decided to go on a last minute holiday yourself and can't do it. If she asks where say I am going to book on the day so God knows. When she comes back and ask how your holiday went say I never went. Simple.

Please do not do this for her. She is taking the piss out of your kind nature.

[Trickydecision]

I can't bear washing cat dishes myself so always use pouches plus dried and paper plates and I would not expect a cat sitter to have to do it differently. Just ask her to get the right stuff in.

[Sparklingbrook]

I am a cat owner. I put my cat in a cattery when I go away. Easier all round.
Sparkling Cat has a routine that revolves around us and a stranger coming in twice a day and chucking some food down wouldn't cut it.

[1Morewineplease]

Ditto Sparkilingbrook!!!
A Cattery is the answer... Just tell NDN that you were really sorry and that you found it hard to make all those commitments... She is being utterly unreasonable and incredibly selfish..

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

That's what feeding a cat involves OP, what you describe isn't even cat sitting .

[awombwithaview]

I feed my friend's cat in the next street when she goes away...it can be a bit of a PITA as I've got two young DCs and need to time it for before DH goes to work, but she's my friend so Im happy to help her. If she was my ndn it would be much less of an issue as would take a fraction of the time. it must be very hard to say no to your ndn without causing a future issue. The cat I feed has wet and dry food, I go in once a day and fill the bowls to the top to last him 24 hours. Could you do the same? You're doing a favour after all.

[redbinneo]

OP
We give our cat sitter the cash it would cost us to put the cats in a cattery. Perhaps you could suggest this to your neighbour.

[Fishlaar]

Be glad you don't live near my neighbours. When they had a cat I was expected to defrost and cook chicken breasts for it.