AIBU about wedding dresses

[chelle792]

I am really hoping you will all tell me I am BU.

I'm getting married in November and am going wedding dress shopping with my Mum and my Auntie on Saturday.

Tbh, I'm dreading it. I have quite a low tolerance for shopping on the best of days. I'm worried that I'm not going to enjoy it, am going to look stupid in all of the dresses and that it's going to be a horrible experience.

This is supposed to be the fun part of wedding planning but I just imagine that it's going to be awful.

Please tell me I am BU and that I really will love it :(
I just want to be married!!! :)

[DottyStripes]

Oh good point re the hair- and make up too tbh

Just pretend your a mannequin

[Jewels234]

Agreed with the poster that said don't just go for the one that makes you feel skinniest, that's what I did and am regretting it (I have a thread in S&B at the moment!)

Not sure if you have seen blogs like Rock My Wedding? They showed me that absolutely anything can be a wedding dress. There are so many options, and some great high street choices. Do what makes you happy!

[IceBeing]

The best part about "dress shopping" for me was telling the assistants the wedding was 3 months away.

For some reason this sent them all into hilarious flap mode.

WHAAAAAAT! No WAAAAAAAAAAAAY

every single shop.

In my case it was true, but there is nothing to stop you from generating a little entertainment to keep the afternoon passing by claiming something similar...

[EducateTogetheralumnus]

Do you know how long it took me to find my wedding dress? 40 minutes. In one shop.

It was the 5th dress I tried on and as someone said upthread, the staff were very good at filtering out Mum's godawful choices.

In the 5th dress I came skipping out of the changing room, my sister burst into tears and the manager said to Mum "when they start skipping, that's the one!".

I wasn't particularly looking forward to it and it was actually really fun - but I couldn't have done the "every bridal shop in London" thing. I also made sure that I liked the staff when I made the appointment on the phone. I remember calling a posh shop on Bond St and they were really sniffy on the phone so I went someplace else!

You'll find a way of doing it that suits you!

[WestEast]

I don't enjoy shopping. So I went by myself , tried a couple on, asked the shop assistants what they thought and bought what I wanted.
Much less stressful.

[Skeppers]

AmyElliotDunne I think in the only full-length one I have I'm looking particularly sweaty (after having danced for 4 hours solid), I'm also wearing DH's waistcoat and a pirate hat, and carrying an inflatable shark!

It was a good day.

[chelle792]

You ladies have all been amazing. Thank you so much for putting my mind at rest! I will make sure I take time to do my hair in the morning. I read that I shouldn't wear makeup as I can get it on the dresses but will think about my hair.

I'm looking forward to it more now :)

It's annoying that I'd love to lose a stone before going to try on dresses but that's not going to happen before Saturday.

We've only got five months to go and a couple of places have said "oooh not long then" haha - we only got engaged a few weeks ago :)

[Skeppers]

It's a lot more fun than I'd have thought and I'm glad I went through with it rather than just ordering something in or getting something on the high street- although I totally get why some people do that; my cousin and my brother's fiancee both did this because it suited them. The dress shopping actually turned into one of my favourite bits of the process which I would have NEVER thought would happen.

No doubt they will get you to try on some which look minging, or don't do up, etc. etc. but then you just keep on until you find something you like. It is pretty exhausting climbing in and out of dresses, but that's what the staff are there for. The ladies at my shop were very helpful at getting large, heavy dresses over my almost 6ft frame!

I still hate shopping though. But that's mainly because of other people and crowds. We had the wedding dress place to ourselves as it was on an appointment basis. Could be a good option if you're a bit shy?

Hope you find what you're looking for!

[changenaming]

I hated shopping for traditional wedding dresses and felt uncomfortable and ridiculous when wearing them. I settled on a sequinned evening gown for my wedding dress which was much more 'me' and it gave me a balance of feeling special and comfortable.

Go and try on the traditional dresses but don't feel like these are your only option if you don't find anything you like.

[Whatisaweekend]

I loved shopping for mine but then that's my sort of thing iyswim. I found my dress in the 2nd shop I visited - all quite easy really so try not to build it up into a big thing in your mind!

I do find shopping quite knackering though which does suck the fun out of it so my top tips would be:

1. make sure your undies are ok to be seen in - you dont want to be trying to dodge out of the view of the assistants!
   
2. make sure that what you leave the house in to go shopping is really comfortable and very easy to get on and off, no fiddly buttons/tight stuff etc
   
3. snack in your bag to boost flagging energy levels
   
4. can you do a (slightly) boozy lunch beforehand to take the edge off a bit?
   
   Good luck - I am sure you will find the one easily and look divine!!

[gonegrey56]

A friend bought some totally mad over-the-top shoes , then the simplest and plainest dress she could find . She looked absolutely fantastic and original - it was her style and she was so happy and it showed .
Do hope you have fun and choose what YOU want !

[chelle792]

gonegrey I love the shoes idea. I'm getting married with no shoes :) it'll take the pain out of the process and it's definately me

so - undies. That's the big one.

I'm actually starting to look forward it a little more now!! :)

[chelle792]

I've been looking at loads of pictures and kind of like a few styles but I'm keeping an open mind. It's a relaxed wedding so I don't want to feel too formal but kind of like the A-line ones. I'm conscious of my hips though so will just have to wait and see how they look

[Momagain1]

You might get lucky. My dd is not a clothes horse, and doesnt enjoy shopping. we live on different continents and time zones, so the plan was that she and her sister would go to several shops, email pics to me, ideas and styles would be discussed, and the process repeated weekly until the chore of dress shopping was done.

She bought the second dress she tried on. She couldnt be convinced to even try on more than two more before declaring she was done, would take dress 2, and her sister should call and cancel the rest of their appointments while she was sorting out the ordering and fitting appointments etc.

Then they went ahead and started the recovery from dress shopping drinking plan scheduled to begin 8 hours later.

[tindel]

I was dreading shopping for my wedding dress, but agreed to do a day with my Mum. I had exactly the same fears as you - that I would look stupid (am not very girly at the best of times) and that the shop assistants were going to be horrible to me.

I was advised to book an appointment with a dress shop that a couple of people recommended, which I really didn't want to do, as I was going to get something either from the High Street or something completely un-weddingy. I then grudgingly spent a bit of time on the shop's website looking at their stock and wrote down a list of ones I thought were ok. I also got dragged to a department store in Oxford Street by a friend who made me try on ridiculously expensive and massive dresses, which was highly entertaining and took some of the fear out of it.

On the day, it helped that the ladies in the shop were lovely - they were particularly impressed I had a list - but the fact that I had seen what they had in advance really helped me to relax. And, I did enjoy trying on dresses and I did end up with one of their dresses, which I loved. I made it a bit less conventional with brightly coloured shoes and a massive flower in my hair.

It's only one bit of the whole wedding preparation, but I hope you do enjoy it.

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

Do you have any photos of you in outfits that made you feel (and look) gorgeous? As that may help the assistants help get a "feel" for you. For example all my favourite clobber has v-necks. And I like simple plain colours with no "fuss".

[Justmuddlingalong]

When my friend and I went shopping for my dress, we had a brilliant day. With regards to wearing make up, in one store I was given a gauze bag to put over my head, so as not to mark the dresses. I didn't like any of the dresses on, but asked if they had a head bag in a size 10. Cue lots of snorting with laughter from us.

[ebwy]

research! check the shop out online - do they have anything you might like? phone them - do they have anything in your size in the shop? (nothing worse than a larger size being made to try on a size 8 dress and told that they can get the idea of how it will fit - no you can't, and you'll feel awful)

look for alternatives - if a traditional wedding dress isn't "you" then don't have one!

(I'm not-quite-eloping on friday in a goth top and black skirt... much more me!)

[ItsADinosaur]

None of the samples in the shops I went in were a size 8, more like 14+. They have to be an average size.

[chelle792]

I'm a 10-12. They'll look ok wont they??

[chelle792]

Ebwy that sounds amazing!

[LizardBreath]

I'm another that hates normal shopping and trying on. It's SO much easier in bridal shops though, they bring them to you for one thing, and there's loads more space to waft around in. Good ones will pick out your good bits and emphasise them, rather than getting you to try ones that clearly won't suit on.

I'm going again on Sat, hope you enjoy your visit

[EducateTogetheralumnus]

Glad you're feeling better about it. As to the time thing - they all say "ooh you need at least six months."

Bollocks.

I was engaged to married in six months and still managed to get the frock I wanted. It's all hype!

[Notso]

I just bought the first dress I tried on, I asked for off white with no hoop or big skirt. It was simple.

[ItsADinosaur]

I'm a 10-12. They'll look ok wont they??

It'll be fine. If they're too big they'll just use clips to pull it in to give you an idea of how it's meant to look. I had a sponge down my back in one shop.