Why can't I find a nanny?!

[BooChunky]

I've been looking for a nanny for four days a week (Wednesday's off) because I'm going back to uni. Every nanny we've spoken to we've stressed that I'm not sure what my schedule will be exactly so we're happy to agree to a daily rate now, so that if I end up home early everyday and let them go, they're not going to be out of pocket. We do have a dog but I'm putting him in doggy day care every nanny day so he won't be an issue for anyone and she won't have to take care of him. We've been really informally interviewing, and during the interview had agreed to 10ph and four weeks holiday, all bank holidays etc... So we really loved 2 of the nannies and invited them back to meet our 2 children and see how they got on. (Though I know this could go badly just because children are unpredictable!)

So, we loved Nanny 1. She was so sweet, my youngest child really took to her (nearly 2, and very clingy to me) and she agreed to the money.... I wanted to offer her the job on the spot, but we had already arranged to see nanny 2 the next day.

So Nanny 2 arrives (after me raving about her to DH about her 10 years experience and how easy it was to chat to her) and it was completely awkward. Then she started on her demands... She wants her 4 weeks holiday and all bank holidays, but also Easter holidays and mid December until January 3rd... Paid. We need someone 4 days a week with Wednesday's off, this was specified a lot and mentioned in our profile, on the phone and at her first interview. Well, she doesn't want that. She's decided she wants Fridays off because she just loves to take long weekends. And if she 'liked the family enough' she would agree to their schedule but she doesn't feel she can at the moment - oh dear! She won't use her own car (although her profile says she will), and needs to authorise the car we want her to use, as we may not have considered it's safety for children. She also wants to be paid 45p a mile for local driving even though we would have to cover all car expenses. She reminds us how great she is, and how wonderful a nanny she would be... A lot. She tells us she's going straight off to another interview so we need to hurry if we want her.

Well, um, we don't anymore!

So Nanny 1... she's very young, she only has 8 months experience and her spelling etc on her cv was awful! But she was so so sweet and lovely and we really wanted to give her a chance because she was just so likeable. She already agreed to 10ph and 4 weeks holiday plus bank holidays and Christmas week so we called and offered her the job...

She comes back to us saying she's changed her mind. She wants £14ph. Minimum.

Fuck.

We really like her so we write a long message saying that my oldest will be at school all day, My youngest will start nursery next year and the following year full time school, so as a long term job it will get easier and easier, the children loved you, we loved you but financially we just can't do £14... We can look to review it in 6 months but for now we can only do 12ph but we've got to look at some finances.

She comes back to us saying that actually, even 12 - 14 wouldn't be enough.

Back to the drawing board.

It must be me?! What are we doing wrong? Is this ridiculously cheap for a nanny? Is 4 days a week weird? Is the 2 meeting process odd?

[SuperFlyHigh]

Could you not pay less but have nanny 5 days a week including Weds to make it a bit more appealing for another nanny? offer £10 p/h then.

I know it would mean that you wouldn't get the Weds with the kids swimming etc but otherwise you could spend forever and a day after the nanny not working Weds. Or get an au pair.

also I have a childcare GCSE (yes I know that's not a Norland nanny qualification!) but I also have Red Cross Safety certificate too (kids too) - so if I were to go for nannying etc jobs then I know about stuff like reflexes etc in babies which au pairs would probably not know about. So yes, don't compare to a cleaner who generally are not qualified or not relevant to their jobs!

Sounds like you have kids though, so is a nanny really essential? A great au pair would be a far better solution and is what my friends with school age kids have. And also varied schedules as both work in film/TV so are away/not away from home etc

[chasingtherainbow]

Blimey.

I'm a nanny and I think nanny 1 is bonkers.. 8 mo experience and demanding £14 net! Ha!!


No2 sounds like a nightmare. I'm betting she's a more mature nanny who "knows best" for all her years caring for children, you silly parent you..


I'm sorry you're having a rough time here OP. Fwiw I love part time work but I've a young family of my own.

The job sounds like bliss tbh! Right down to the dog in doggy day care. Hope you find someone soon.

[SomewhereIBelong]

sounds complex and not a professional arrangement - too flexible...

Just say £12ph, 4 days Xam to Ypm(not Wed) 4 weeks hols + bank hols. You will be their employer not best friend.

• £10 net is much harder to understand when comparing to most jobs paid gross.

[Lolimax]

I need to move! 45 yrs old ready for a change in career but (was) a fully qualified nursery nurse! Flipping heck I'd do it! And I've raised my own 2!! Why is it so hard to find nannies? Is it more the cost of living of the area then?

[WonderingWillow]

The OP said that any early finishes would be a bonus; not unpaid.

A 4 day working week and still earning that much per hour? Er, yes please!

I employ au pairs and in my experience; people try and get all they can out of you. They want to take, take, take and the interview stage can be very wearing. We offer gym membership at David Lloyd as an added extra; we had one interviewee email and ask if we a cash alternative and also another tell us that she wanted a Sky box in her bedroom. I don't have Sky in my bedroom!!

I've found my best results from using an agency, although maybe not the same for nannies. I know a lot of people source their own au pairs but the agency has always been excellent and have saved me around a month's worth of searching each time, and provided really high quality candidates. I've only had piss takers on au pair world.

[SquinkiesRule]

Have you tried advertizing in www.lady.co.uk/ in the jobs section.
Heck I wish I was closer I'd do it, it's more than I earn a year.

[Balaboosta]

So interview more people. Finding help of any kind isn't easy and there is an art to it. You just have to keep going. I made the mistake once of advertising for an evening nanny and a cleaner on gumtree at the same time and had to wade through - I kid you not - four hundred emails. I wish you best of luck, which is what you need, and encourage you to persist, which is what it takes.

[Balaboosta]

£10 per hour sounds okay by the way. £12 also okay.

[WonderingWillow]

balaboosta I feel your pain; I had 90 applicants in 20 minutes when I put our profile on au pair world.

[stillsingingintherain]

£14 net is crazy especially if shes inexperienced; she's just trying her luck! Between £8 & 10 net is normal in my area (SE london - Bromley)

[londonrach]

Wow. Thinking of change of profession here...

[flora717]

Fup me, I'll do it! (Having just realised registering as a childminder may have been futile given the direction of education and the seeming lack of people wanting childcare).

[Threesoundslikealot]

We're in SE London, in quite a nappy valley area, and £10 net is entirely reasonable pay here for an experienced nanny, so £14 is just taking the piss.

Have you thought about a possible nanny share? It would ameliorate your Wednesday issue as the other family may well want the nanny that day, and it works out cheaper.

[SoleSource]

I'd do it for £6 an hour, take the Wednesday off, would want the dog at home for walkies too.

I'd not charge anything else extra.

I'd do free babysitting at night so you both could go out.

[fiorentina]

We pay 10ph net. For 2 days per week 8-6pm. We found that when we were offering 4 days a week most nannies were keen for longer hours. Eg 7-7pm for 4 days so they earned a full time wage and could have the one day 'off' or do some other work. It sounds like you are saying they only get paid when they are there though? Eg if you get back early they get paid less, maybe I'm misunderstanding but that doesn't sound great for them?

Keep looking and perhaps advertise via childcare.co.uk your specific requirements? Or consider a nanny share to reduce costs?

[BooChunky]

I wouldn't pay them less if I got home early... That's why I was agreeing a day rate from the start so that even though I don't know my hours, it wouldn't mess them about financially, and if I got home they could go and know they would be paid regardless.

[bedraggledmumoftwo]

I am absolutely stunned that a newly qualified nanny expects the net equivalent of a £40k a year job. Wow.

And four days at ten hours a day is a full time job for most people!

It isn't that nanny 1 is inexperienced and doesn't realise it is net that you are offering?

I would agree maybe look for someone five days at ten pounds an hour- maybe with a short day on Wednesday but say a46 hr week- be cheaper than putting your net rate up and incurring more and more tax and Ni. And then if you had essays to write or errands to run you could have cover to do them. I'm a bit concerned that you haven't thought about coursework if you are planning on letting the nanny go home if you have a half day of lectures?

[Aermingers]

I have to say I recently turned down down a job. It was in a public sector organisation which has had a lot of bad publicity. Working for the person who has come in to sort out all the crap. The staff of this organisation are very resistant.

They offered me the job but I knew it would be hard and quite unpleasant. I had a figure in my head which I would have done it for and they wouldn't match it so I walked away.

I wonder how you are coming across to the nannies? If you're not coming across well they might feel like they don't want to do it for less money.

I mean, that was how I felt, the money just wasn't worth the hassle.

[BooChunky]

Well, I hope I'm coming across well

I've been offering tea / coffee and biscuits, chatting informally in my kitchen and being friendly (I think!)

[Justusemyname]

I think a Wednesday off would be quiet nice actually.

When I was a nanny I got most of my jobs through the lady magazine. Given parents should check all references anyway I do wonder why they pay extortionate rates to an agency.

I'd love to go back to nannying but my youngest is still at primary school so it isn't going to work for a while.

[Aermingers]

BooChunky, it's standard even with childminders that you agree a working day and pay for that. If you finish early then that's up to you, but you have agreed a working pattern.

Could you imagine if you worked in an office and you were just sent home and not paid if your boss decided they didn't have anything for you to do that afternoon?

I don't think any decent employer would expect an employee not to know how much they were earning that week depending on a whim. They certainly would struggle to find or keep someone on that basis,

[Aermingers]

I'm just trying to think, because that is normally the reason people ask for more money. Are there any extra chores that aren't nannying jobs? Like cleaning? Or do either of your children have a special dietary need or anything like that? Or are you asking for dog walking? What kind of dog is it? Not a pit bull or anything like that? Do you have any requirements for when they can take their holidays? It just seems strange that two of them both made excessive demands.

[Aermingers]

Alternatively do you think she could have seen any sort of online exchange between you and nanny no.2? Or heard that you had seen her?

I'm just thinking if her nose had been put out of joint by knowing that you were going to see someone who wanted more than her she might be pissed off.

[Heels99]

Boo, £38k is more than newly qualified teachers get, even experienced teachers. You have messed up in the net! Pay gross! What are you left with if you pay the nanny £38k plus NI?

[legolegolego]

I'm a nanny, and I cant see the issue with this job either. I'd rather work 4 days with a Wednesday off than work 5 days! Wednesday off wouldn't bother me at all as long as the wage is enough that I wouldn't need to find another job that day. I would probably be looking for £10/11p/h net in your area. (7 years experience)

A lot of people say that you just 'know' when you've found the right nanny though, so don't be defeated just yet. Most people I know interview 7 or 8 before finding the right one. Are you advertising in a few places? Nannyjob.co.uk is a good one