AIBU to think that charging rent from a child whilst in finL year of A-levels is not on?

[Pony74]

Is this normal? Thank you.

[Bunbaker]

I don't MrsCookie. Unless the family are in dire financial straits it is grabby. We spend most of our lives as adults and having to be responsible. I really think anyone in full time education shouldn'r be expected to pay their way.

[museumum]

I would never ever take "rent" from my son.
If I was really struggling financially and he got a job I would offer him the opportunity to add some luxury to our food shop or similar that we previously hadn't had. But tbh I think them taking over more of their own expenses (clothes and toiletries and travel) is a better approach.
I'm very about the idea that "secret saving" teaches anything about the value of money. If you want to teach them to save then be honest about it - make them put a third into a savings account. Knowingly.

[twinkletoedelephant]

From 16 college I had to pay 100 a month ( I was earning 2.22 an hour . It went up each time I got a payrise at 17 and 18. I still had to pay during my a levels so still had to work till 9pm day before exams ect..

I didn't do as well as I was expected to and didn't get into uni :-(

Went into full time work straight after a levels as needed to pay my way mum took 500 a month worked out it was cheaper to leave home so I did that at 19.

Twin didn't have a job so no money was expected from her....... Then went to work in carding profession and as it was helping people and low wage didn't pay rent.... Eventually moved out at nearly 30 and had been financially assisted by parents ever since..


I still think back to what I could of done if I had the extra time to study instead of working on an express check out...

[Arrowminta]

No it's not on.

CB and tax credits if needed are still paid up until age 19 at level 3 study. Different if left school and working full time.

[WeAllHaveWings]

oddfodd 'to teach me a lesson' isn't always negative, it depends on so many circumstances. I would only ask ds to contribute if it would be a positive influence.

Each family will make its own decisions on the matter and neither is particularly right or wrong, but for posters to infer it wrong/financial abuse/grabby because it isn't their own decision for their dc, now that is wrong.

[fiveacres]

I feel to take money from someone earning very little (which they will be) when they are in full time education when you do not need it yourself does equate to abusing and manipulating someone's finances.

This is not someone working full time and living at home. That is different. This is someone studying full time and working on top.

It is not (I assume) a family really struggling and desperately needing every penny. Demanding someone who earns little yet works hard hands over some of it either due to well intentioned 'teach them about money' (by taking it off them) or just meanness, is abusive in my book.

[amybear2]

for posters to infer it wrong/financial abuse/grabby because it isn't their own decision for their dc, now that is wrong.
..but people have come to the decision they have because they have decided that is the right thing to do, and therefore the opposite choice is wrong.
Taking money from your child in fulltime education just feels wrong to me.The reason the human race (or any species come to that) survives is because the adults invest in their young not vice versa

[gronwyn]

It's really crap. We wouldn't dream of charging rent to our children while they're still at school. You have to be pretty damned tight and mean to pull that sort of stunt with your own children.

What next? Charging friends who you invite to stay overnight for the extra electric and use of hot water and laundering of bedding FFS

We'll encourage our DCs to get part time jobs if possible once they turn 15/16. And we'll expect them to perhaps chip in towards their clothes (but not uniform), phones, shoes etc from time to time.

But we are happy to foot the bill for their basic living costs, and even a few treats. It comes with the job description of being a good parent.

[TheNewStatesman]

Things are financially bloody hard for young people these days, and are likely to get worse in the next decade or so. Unless the family as a whole is skint, this sounds pretty awful.

I would wary of having an A-level student doing a part-time job, too, unless it is VERY part-timeshouldn't she be focusing on her studies? I juggled a second stint at university with two jobs but I was 24 at the timenot sure I would have had the maturity at 17; study would have got sidelined.

[TheNewStatesman]

I have known a couple of people who had jobs alongside A-levels, and thinking about it, none of them did terribly well at those A-levels. I am sure it depends on the teenager and their personality. But as my cousin admitted to me "You finish your shift, you're knackered and there's a little money in your pocket, so what do you do? You go off down the pub. You don't want to go home and study, that's for sure."

[bereal7]

but it's their home ! Wow. Tbh I was still receiving 'pocket money' and phone bill paid by the time I left for uni as well as having a Weekend job . My parents would be offended at the idea of ME paying THEM (even when I'm 30+)

I would never charge my children unless it was literally the difference between eating and starving - in which case I completely sympathise.

YANBU

[bereal7]

Oh and no. We are not rich. My parents just believe it's their job to look after their children -as do I

[Mehitabel6]

We didn't charge DS anything when he was on his apprenticeship. It would hardly have been fair when we were supporting the others through university.
I wanted them all to have a good start in life and not charging them. They got the reality when they got jobs and moved out.
I certainly wouldn't when at school.

[fakenamefornow]

The reason the human race (or any species come to that) survives is because the adults invest in their young not vice versa

Actually, I think until very recently and only in certain parts of the world, is this true. In much of the world and in our very recent past it's the children who havehad to 'invest' in the parents, money has flowed up the generations, not down.

[livedtotellthetale]

DD2 is working and doing her A levels, she has cut her hours down in the the last 2 months and is juggling both well, I would have preferred her not to be working while studying, but she is saving to go inter-railing over the summer, and I dont have the income to fund that. I dont charge her rent and wouldn't dream of it, (although I am sure some months she has more disposable income then I do) but she does work in a watrose and brings me nice reduced food home on a sat night.

[NobodyLivesHere]

'It's her home too'

Precisely. So she should contribute to it. You have no idea of their finances.

[NobodyLivesHere]

I worked a full time job as well as doing my gcse's and a level's. I had no choice as I had a flat to pay rent on. I passed them all very well. It's not impossible.

[amybear2]

shouldn't a parent support their children til they leave school at least?

[amybear2]

you get 10 a*s and worked full time, really?

[beezlebop]

My mum never stinted on financial support for mine nor my sister's education. Both my DP had low paid jobs. We were very lucky but didn't know DM was building up huge debts as a result. Which wasn't brilliant. We only found out when she passed away . All I'm saying is maybe they need their child to earn, the ema is gone, no financial help is available. What do you do as a stony broke parent with no line of credit.?

[Bunbaker]

If some posters could bothered to RTFT most people have said that it is unreasonable unless the parents are in dire financial straits.

[amybear2]

The EMA has been replaced by a 16-18 bursary.

[amybear2]

I would be so ashamed to charge my children rent until they were working fulltime.I would feel I had failed as a parent

[Newbrummie]

No you've failed as a parent if you don't teach them independence. It's not the parents fault that being a "child" has been extended to mid thirties these days, I never signed up for that, I'm sure others didn't too.
I started work at 16 and really if kids want to study beyond that it's a choice they are making to improve their long term position. Parents can choose to support that but it shouldn't be expected by anyone, certainly not the government.

[Bunbaker]

"I started work at 16 and really if kids want to study beyond that it's a choice they are making to improve their long term position"

You are wrong. They have no option. Children have to continue their education until they are 18 now. It can be at school, 6th form college or an apprenticeship.

Details here