They are looking after ds today and apparently have left him nappy free because he will tell them when he needs a wee. Apart from he didn't and he wee'd on Sil (no kids, not immune to it like me!) He is 2.9 and we've tried to train him twice before. I know he needs to be trained but hes recently had a new sibling and I want to leave it a bit longer. AIBU to think this sort of thing needs prior organisation/discussion? Should I say something when they drop him off?
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AIBU?
bubalou ·
17/02/2015 22:26
I remember one little boy who wet himself at nursery and I found him crying in the bathroom shaking trying to hide the fact he had wet himself.
He said it was because he had an accident and was now going to get a smack. This is what was happening whilst 'training' him at home. 
Poor little thing. I don't think I've ever hugged a child so much in all my life.
I did then work shamelessly hard with him with loads of encouragement, stickers and special rewards etc to get him potty trained quickly as I couldn't bare the thought of him continuing to be smacked for such a thing at home.
Luckily it worked and he was almost completely accident free a week or two later.
tobysmum77 ·
17/02/2015 21:54
My friend has 3 dc and a mil who is obsessive about potty training. with dc1 she was 
when mil did exactly this. With dc2 (newborn dc3 was just there, dc1 still bit at school) she barely noticed. Dc3 she says she's going to send round for a week as she has no idea about potty training at all 
.
But yanbu to find this level of interference irritating. It's not their call pure and simple.
fluffyraggies ·
17/02/2015 21:44
Oh god my mum would have you believe that i was P.trained by 14 months. (Every time MIL tells me about DH his walking, talking, P.trained age it gets a bit younger. Last time the story had him walking a mile up the road and then back when he was 1 
)
Anyway - YANBU to want to deal with this in your own time. I did my older 3 DCs p.training in the summer time nearest to them having turned 3, and it was done with each time within a week. I'll be doing the same with DD4. So much easier to wait till they are old enough to understand ''in there now from now on darling please, yes? Well done!!'' and they do it to please you
MrsItsNoworNotatAll ·
17/02/2015 21:11
I would be pissed off with this. I could've done without my pil's interference when I was trying to train dd1. It was like trying to nail jelly to the wall with her and they just ignored what I asked them to do. But of course they knew it all didn't they, what with Dh being trained at 18 months old. Poor dd1 was considered to be behind
She got there eventually and no thanks to them.
Have a word op
bubalou ·
17/02/2015 20:17
Completely agree Knitted!
Of course I'm not saying wait until they're 5 to suggest it to them if they don't themselves but there's ways to let them know what to do - if and when they want!!!
We had sooooo many bad examples of horrid ways parents dealt with this issue at nursery.
Some parents used to have a go at us if their child wasn't potty trained in a month. Were they doing it at home - no!?!
Of course we were there to help but it wasn't up to us to do a parents job!
When DS had an accident I never said a word. Merely took off wet clothes, cleaned him quickly and put on dry clothes. Less fuss the better.
I'm not going to lie - I wanted to punch some of the nursery parents in the face! 
KnittedJimmyChoos ·
17/02/2015 20:06
dissapointed interesting article.
My dh and his DS were bed wetters until ten, so bad they had alarms in their beds.
Which is why I want my in laws to stay the fuck away from my dc's loo training.
Bub because of my DH experiences, ^ I am hot on things like this - and believe we impose so much on children as if they wouldn't have done it without our help, when actually, its natural for us as a human to want to move forward and develop.
As said, seen too many traumatized children, left in middle of room, toddler group or friends house, stripped naked, told off, while Mum dashes off to get towels, tells child off and so on. Unpleasant but unnecessary.
bubalou ·
17/02/2015 19:52
Knitted jimmychoos - when I read your first line repeating what I said I was sure I was in for a scolding for over reacting etc!
I'm glad you agree.
I saw it happen MANY times. Even had parents make us train their just tuned 2 year olds who were no where near ready and having 10+ accidents a day. We knew they weren't ready, told the parents and we knew they weren't trying at home! Just expected a poor 2 year old to do it at nursery as they were too lazy to put any effort in.
Also had some asking us to 'tell them off or give them time out' if they had an accident as this is what they did at home! 
With my own DS literally the month he turned 2 I bought a potty and a toilet seat in the latest Disney craze (think it was Cars).
I didn't ask him to use them, I left him to ask me questions - I explained and answered them with no pressure.
He went in phases of sitting on them and preferred weeing standing up in front of the toilet (as I think he thought it was fun)!
By 2.7-2.9ish he was in pants and nappies just at night.
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