..to think a Body Shop stall at a baby group is exploitative?

[PurdeyBirdie]

I'm a new member at a baby and toddler group and on their fb page yesterday a mum posted to say she would be setting up her Body Shop stall for 'all the mummies to take advantage of the massive 30% sale which finishes Saturday. I can also tell you more about how easy it is to earn a bit of extra money yourself (on average about £250 a month), and all the benefit of hosting your own Body Shop party.'

I commented that I thought it was inappropriate to flog yet more stuff at new mums who assemble at baby groups to engage with their babies and make friends. I was told that the group is happy to support new businesses for mums and I should basically shut my gob (that was from one young mum). I asked if there was a line to be drawn: would hairdressers be able to set up a chair? A spray tan booth? Nail bar? The answer was: 'Barring health and safety issues I don't see why not. We are all about supporting new mums with any ventures to better the lives of themselves and their kids'.

Another mum popped on to say that her bread company took off massively after she began selling it to this group and she would be forever grateful, blah, blah..she went on to say 'After seven years on the baby circuit I find it can all get a bit 'yawn'. Bring on the Body Shop stall, I say!' I said there was a difference between selling home made wares (perhaps for charity or to raise funds for the group) and flogging beauty products from a massive organisation like Body Shop.

In response to this another mum came on to say: 'The body shop although a massive organisation has excellent ethics and stays true to those ethics and original beliefs. The company also does a lot for charity and environmental issues around the world, help one mum.... Help the world!'

Am I being an unsisterly turd? Do I have a point at all? I'm just uncomfortable with the notion that anyone can set up business at a baby group and target assembled women who simply want to make friends and play with their babies.

[Blueblueblueblue]

Lovely pic OP

Of course you can have an opinion without being on the committee and without having been a member for years but be very careful how you do it.

From personal experience being in these types of committees is hard work and the members giving you the hardest time and making life really difficult are always, always those who would 'shudder' to be on the committee (or PTA etc).

Without the committees the groups won't run remember...

[Blueblueblueblue]

Ps you do realise that at least a proportion of the group will be in MN and reporting back?

[RainbowFlutterby]

Sorry, but I think you were rude. It's not up to you to decide what other people do and don't like, and to declare yourself to be "boycotting" the group indicates that you have an over-inflated ego!

I'm sure you not any of those things - but that's how it comes across.

[Clarinet9]

I'm with you I went to one that did this (run by NCT if I remember rightly) it was pretty odd and uncomfortable and we phased out of the group fairly quickly.

i used to feel sorry for the seller because they often seemed to sell nothing, it doubled the nightmare of keeping older sibs away and I too question that this is really a 'business' felt more like trying to embarrass friends to part with their money.

[nunkspugget]

I agree op, why is bounty so different? Mums can say no to that too
I once worked in a place where the boss would make us all file past the stalls set up in our office every week! He obviously took his cut and wanted to squeeze every penny out of us

[Clarinet9]

Mind you where I am now I felt obliged to point out that the PTA shouldn't sell discounted out of date formula at the fair and got an odd combination of ignored/insulted and semi-racist comments.


(One of the two things that has resulted in me basically opting out of it all this year)

[Henbur1702]

Is that bareminerals from qvc? if so I'm insisting that they shut down the tv channel as you are being brainwashed

[Summerisle1]

I think you have a point, OP but I think you've made it with all the subtlety of a concrete elephant. I don't want to be sold Body Shop products, regardless of where anyone attempts to sell them to me but certainly, I wouldn't attempt to wade in on behalf of the allegedly oppressed women in this group when there's clearly no evidence that you are anything but in the gobby minority here.

The thing about baby groups is that you can opt out. Attendance isn't compulsory. So if you really dislike the way things are organised you go elsewhere.

[squeezycheesy]

I'd have sniffed you out like a pig after a truffle if you'd been in my group.

These groups are just auditions for new friends, aren't they? You'd have passed with flying colours for me . . .

[PurpleCrazyHorse]

If you wrote what you did in your OP then I think you probably did come across as rude. You said you've been a few times before, how to you know that the Body Shop stand doesn't do a roaring trade, how do you know there aren't mums there who enjoy pottering at the stand while someone cuddles their baby? I think you're wrong to assume that all the other mums are exploited and need you to step in and protect them from a stall.

It's not what I'd want every week at a baby group but if it was popular with the other mums and the group wanted to do it, I'd either find another group to go, avoid those weeks or simply not buy anything.

[Gobbolinothewitchscat]

I like some make up bits and bobs from the body shop and would be quite happy to see a stall there. Would save me from gavi g to brace the local shopping centre with a double buggy or ordering on the Internet

I'm quite grown up enough to say, no thanks to anyone trying to sell things to me that I don't want and don't need someone else to stop me spending £792.37 on unwanted face cream. I've had two babies in two years but not lost my marbles and can still be trusted to make responsible decisions whilst out in public.

[seaoflove]

I agree op, why is bounty so different? Mums can say no to that too

Bounty harrass vulnerable women, having JUST given birth, in their hospital beds.

Can't really see the correlation with mums at baby groups.

I'm not saying I agree with it. Like I said, I would (and indeed have in the past) find it annoying. I didn't feel exploited.

[PurdeyBirdie]

So I shouldn't voice an opinion about the baby groups I attend, ever. What the bloody hell is all that about? I wasn't rude. I gave my opinion on something I feel strongly about. They're grown women who replied honestly and in their own opinion. I wasn't demanding they stop what they are doing and nor did I harangue or hector them. I said my piece and I said it without claiming to be trumpeting the rights of other women.

I like concrete posts.

[Blueblueblueblue]

Purdey I've tried to politely respond to your posts and explain another point of view but you are persisting in being belligerent.

You have not been told by anyone that you can't express an opinion just that you should do it diplomatically if you wish to avoid upsetting the atmosphere in an established group.

I'm not sure why you can't appreciate the difference.

[RainbowFlutterby]

I really think it's up to the other mums to decide whether you were rude or not.
You might not think you were, and you might think that "saying your piece" is fine regardless of whether it upsets anyone or pisses anyone off but if you read the MIL threads on here you'll see that that attitude is not really acceptable.

Sometimes is better to keep your opinions to yourself.

[bigbluestars]

purdey- I think you are right. Not sure I would have had the guts to, but I hate the idea of being sold to at a baby group. Especially if the rep was another mother- many feel obliged to buy something is business is slow. That in itself is pressure I wouldn't want.
We had a mother in the school playground who was an AVON rep- we knew she was just another Mum with small kids trying to supplement her income, but other Mums would avoid her.

Selling stuff to friends is an uneasy area.

[MrsHathaway]

I am on the committee of a toddler group that has selling people in (typically similar to the one in the OP). We take a cut, usually 20%. This happens a couple of sessions a term.

I. Fucking. Hate. It. My opposition is well minuted.

I think it's inappropriate and puts pressure on people. Also, if we're taking 20% for group funds, you're paying at least 25% more than it's worth which is hardly supporting the target group.

I also think that if your first ever session (we are a drop-in) includes a salesperson, you're unlikely to return, even if the normal group would have suited you very well. So we miss out on you, and you miss out on us.

That said, I wonder whether the FB post was the right place to discuss it. Perhaps it would have been better to approach the people who run it and state your objections in a more measured way.

[BaffledSomeMore]

Why the ?

[nunkspugget]

I hate the captive audience part of it, yes.....we can just say no but I object to being put into ever increasing situations where I have to say no! Where next!? Will there be trial samples put into my child's school bag and I have to send it back if I don't want it?? Will the natively play stop for periodic sales opportunities???

[IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes]

I would of been tempted to tell them if they shop directly with body shop they can get extra 40% of sale items. Grab a real bargain

[longestlurkerever]

I think exploitation is putting it way too high but annoying is right. It is hard-sell by it's very nature if there's social pressure to help a new mum's business and if they interrupt the group to give a spiel it just leaves an awkward silence if no one wants to buy - more pressure.

I also disagree that you can't express an opinion about something unless you've been going for years. Surely it's new members that are best placed to judge if something is off-putting? No wonder people find these sorts of things cliquey.

[PurdeyBirdie]

Thanks for all the responses. You are right - exploitative is the wrong word. I'm not sure what word suits the nature of the discomfort I feel about the whole business. I just don't like it.
Regarding keeping my trap shut: It was never going to happen I'm afraid. Just as I would complain if the restaurant I went to served up something not described on the menu - and not to my taste - I would make my feelings known.

[QuintlessShadows]

Lol, purdey will be the mil from hell.

[Martina37]

When my children were younger they had these at one of the mums and tots groups we went to. They had Usbourne Books, Forever Living, The Book People and as it got nearer to Christmas mums who were into crafting would do those clear baubles for Baby’s First Christmas. They were once a month. I bought from the Book People and Usbourne books as it was a good time to get some really nice children’s books. Didn’t buy all the time and it was set up in a corner away from the children. I would still go to the mums and tots group, you voiced your thoughts on it and the majority are happy with the situation so you either go or find somewhere else. Personally I would go to the group 😊

[PooWillyNameChange]

I agree with you wholeheartedly. And artisan bread is completely different. No MLM pyramid crap. I don't want to be sold to in that setting. Especially if I'm paying a few quid to be there. If I wanted to kill time shopping I'd just go into a shop...