To think my friend should not have snatched a toy from dd?

[squishinglittlefatcheeks]

I was at my friends house and both her dd (22mth) and mine (20mth) were playing alongside each other nicely. Friend's dd started playing with a kitchen set - mainly a saucepan in which she had cooked 'food' and was emptying some of the food onto 2 plates.
My dd loves kitchen sets. She wanted one of the plates which I thought was fine so I asked friend's dd if my dd could have a plate and then allowed her to take one. At which point friend's dd started getting upset (tears) and my friend literally tugged the plate out of my dd's hand to give back to her daughter. My instinct was to stop my friend as I found this quite upsetting for my dd.
Of course my dd was upset. I distracted her with other bits of the kitchen set. My friend later said to me her dd had recently spent a lot of time with a family member's child who snatched from her a lot and now my friend is trying to teach her dd not to just give up her toys if another child takes it.
I agree with not letting another child take a toy if the first child is playing with it. But in this situation I can't see that this was applicable - my dd wasn't taking her toy, she just wanted one plate. In my mind this is sharing a toy. In the reverse situation I would have explained to dd that she can have the saucepan and one plate and let her friend share the other plate.

So AIBU to be annoyed that my friend tugged this toy out of my dd's hand? And if I am NBU then how would you tackle this situation (bearing in mind this is a friend whose house I am at, playing with her daughter's toy)?

[TheWitTank]

I think a lot of posts here say that she shouldn't have snatched back even though YWBU?
Anyway, no harm done. It was a fleeting moment during playtime which the children have probably forgotten already. You did wrong taking in the first place, she did wrong snatching back. Your toddlers did nothing wrong at all. Leaving them to it would have probably been the better idea!

[Fairenuff]

You did wrong taking in the first place, she did wrong snatching back. Your toddlers did nothing wrong at all

Haha is does sound funny when you put it like that. True too

[Coyoacan]

Yeap, it sounds like both you and your friend should step back a bit more and let the children sort it out, as long as there is no violence, that is.

I say this as one who ended up completely falling out with one of my friends over our daughters, while the daughters were fine together a minute later.

But also because one of the major skills children have to learn is how to resolve these problems. We still teach them what we can but a lot of their learning has to be trial and error.

[Bettercallsaul1]

Agree with previous posters who said that these little ones - both under two! - are too young to understand the concept of "sharing", despite the wishful thinking of their mothers! Children of 20 and 22 months are, in the main, impervious to both reason and altruism - they will be much better in even a year's time. At the moment, their play is individual rather than social and they really cannot be expected to understand or sympathise with another toddler's viewpoint. It is definitely best for them to play with equipment or toys that one just can't pick up and run off with - a park or playground is ideal.