Genuinely interested in responses, this is not an AIBU where I think I'm absolutely right 
I don't like my XH and don't think he prioritises our child (though he's not awful and neglectful, more lazy)
We only have the one, and she's Y1 so we don't have nativity fatigue yet!
She didn't have a major part, but did have a song and dance with a subgroup of 12. It was only 45 minutes long.
I know loads of people miss them because of work.
So, he went drinking with his mates. A local group, but which meets for an all day session in another city about once every 6 months. So not the only time he can see them, but not on this kind of event all the time. If it makes a difference, 2 of the 6 are pretty flakey and drop out often from things, 1 wasn't there. So in my mind not massive deal to drop out.
It will have been arranged before he knew the nativity date - though not before he could have looked it up on line. He had 3 weeks in which to ask them to re-arrange as that's when I texted to ask if he wanted me to get morning or afternoon ticket (I had the form in school bag).
She was disappointed he wasn't there, though not upset - she accepted his lie that he had to work as a customer needed something and had been waiting a long time.
So if this was your husband and you loved him and he was a good dad (so none of my backstory! )
Would you expect him to re-arrange or even cancel, and go?
The other guys are all fathers.
Ultimately, she didn't care more than fleeting disappointment and it is his loss not mine.
Am I being PFB / bitter over harsh ex? or was that pretty poor from him?
AIBU?
AIBU to expect XH to go to nativity not out with mates?
Cabrinha · 22/12/2014 00:20
It wouldn't bother me at all and, being perfectly honest, I loathed all the endless, tedious nativity plays at school (nursery ones were quite sweet) - I did go, purely out of obligation, but used to seethe with irritation at the absolute awfulness of them - particuarly the 'contemporary' versions 
. I used to offer to organise the refreshments to try and get out of watching them. .
I would also get in a totally irrational rage at the number of parents/grandparents/general hangers on who go to watch but never bother to support any of the school fundraising or more formal events.
Rant over, I know that makes me sound a grumpy old woman and I am so grateful that my DS is now at secondary school where none of this stuff happens.
Ugh, I don't want her to go through discovering that 
Let's hope he's a father that grows into the role when the child is older.
Thank you, everyone, for your comments. It is really useful to hear that there are mixed opinions on it. It makes me feels that mine are not unreasonable - but also that I'm right not to get worked up that it's the crime of the century.
I'm going to leave my thread now. Not because I'm flouncing off it in disgust that he hadn't been roundly condemned
But although this has been helpful, it's not helpful for me to give an XH too much headspace.
Thanks all!
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