to think dh and i can share breast feeding?

[Soleurmange]

Help
C section blood loss jaundice. I'm totally weak, still in hos.
Struggling to bf, struggling to move about with dd in such pain.
Dh got a month off work
Home not set up for me not to be able to walk , fees easily

I'm producing a lot of milk.
is it possible do you think for me and dh to completely share b feeding if I express? What equipment would we need apart from hospital grade pump? Would it work or is this too soon? any advice or recommended reading material you think might help... Really want to bf... thanks so much.

[BreakingDad77]

I would get DH involved so right off the bat to instill feeding etc is a shared responsibility, you can express and get some sleep!

[ithoughtofitfirst]

Someone awesome on 'infant feeding' told me to take each day at a time with BF and not give up on a bad day. I went into it this time with that in my head and it's been so much nicer. I have got through to harder weeks (which really weren't that bad) and now it's just really easy and lovely. That said i never found FF that much of a pain in the arse with ds. I enjoyed that too.

[calmexterior]

Agree with Winkly in the early days at least - I found expressing a bit of a faff and I only do it now and again so that DS will take a bottle when he's older. You could try Gina Ford I guess, she wasn't for me at all in fact her routine is ridiculous but her methods involve a lot of expressing and giving expressed milk.

[eurochick]

I am expressing and it is hard work. I ended up doing it because my daughter was prem and too tiny and weak to latch. She finally got the hang of it at four and a half months, a few weeks before I go back to work...

Expressing is a faff because it takes so long on top of feeding. In the early weeks I was stuck in an endless cycle of feed-burp-change-express. Plus you have all the bother of sterilising bottles.

On the plus side, my husband does half the feeds and he is very close to our baby.

[FraterculaArctica]

Congratulations on DD! I had a nasty CS too and felt horrendous afterwards so have some idea how you're feeling.

1. You will start feeling better soon, I promise. I know it doesn't feel like it now but you will.
   

1. Do you know when you might be discharged? Guess you might be in a few days more if baby has jaundice. Don't worry about how to manage when you are home yet - just cope with the hospital bit for now.
   

1. Get DH to be with you as much as possible in hospital (mine was there 8 am till 10 pm for the 5 day's we were in). Get him to do all the non feeding stuff - carrying and changing baby, getting you meals etc.
   

1. Agree with what other posters are saying - concentrate on getting feeding established. Demand the help of the postnatal ward staff, often! But pumping (even in hospital where they will bring you sterilized stuff) takes ages. Just spend the time. resting as much as poss.
   

How old is DD? I felt absolutely horrendous for 48 hours, thereafter still totally exhausted from sleep deprivation but definitely better. Don't look too far ahead!

Hope that helps x

[Georgethesecond]

I agree with lots of others - if you want to breasted then breastfeed: pumping, sterilising, washing bottles etc is a pain in the arse and making work for yourself. Let your husband do everything else while you stay in bed for a few days. EVERYTHING ELSE. He can soothe, pace, dress, bathe, nappy change. And cook, clean, shop, deal with visitors. Just like women do.

If you decide to bottle feed then personally I would use formula, ideally after bread feeding has settled down but if that is not possible, then sooner. And I say that as someone who did breastfeed. Don't beat yourself up about this, just do your best. But I really wouldn't faff about with expressing if you want to breast feed exclusively - just don't do ANYTHING ELSE.

[BertieBotts]

Post on the "infant feeding" section too, you'll get more traffic there from experienced people althouth it looks like you've had a lot of responses already :)

For me personally I can't see how it would help because surely you'd spend as much time expressing as he would spend feeding, so you haven't gained any time. Better IMO to get him to do tasks around breastfeeding for you - giving the baby a bath, bringing him to you for night feeds, doing winding, taking the baby for a walk after a feed, doing the pacing up and down etc, preparing easy one-handed food for you to eat when you're stuck on the sofa with the baby all day (plates of sandwiches are good).

Plus bear in mind introducing bottles can be problematic this early, it's possible to do it while keeping BF going, but I would think jumping straight to 50/50 would be problematic. You'll also be spending more time expressing while you get the routine set up so in the short term more work.

I would say stick with BF and get DH to concentrate on making it easier for you by rearranging furniture, bringing food/drinks, get him to chase down breastfeeding support groups etc as well. It will get easier, the first few weeks are really "boot camp" but their tummies get bigger soon enough and they go longer between feeds.

[ithoughtofitfirst]

Bottle of expressed milk* i should say. Although formula would work too i just want get use out of the pump that cost an arm and a leg!

[ithoughtofitfirst]

I have a 6 week old and i do a bottle for the evening and sleep from 9ish til midnight and then sleep in her room with her while dh sleeps in our room. That's worked for us quite nicely. She sleeps so well the rest of the night that it is just much easier to just pop her on, wind her then put her back down. If i have a rough night with her i just stay in bed all morning, get ds to join us and watch disney movies.

Mind you ds was a different ball game and this would never have worked for him.

Good luck finding out what works for you op and congratulations

[Notmuchhaschanged]

I haven't read everyone else's posts because I didn't want to be influenced. I think if you can breastfeed you should concentrate your energy on that and let him do everything else. If it's working well you don't need to do anything else and it will be lovely bonding time.

If you want to do 59/59 then you will have to be expressing all the time and newborns feed quite often.

I know you are probably knackered and looking for a way to make it easier but if you get the hang of it then breastdeeding is the easiest option and he can come and do the burping for you mid feed so you don't have to get up.

I had a section four months ago and whilst rest would be lovelyx fretting about supply etc in my humble opinion isn't worth it and you wihld ben ether off doing feeding yourself x

[GoodKingQuintless]

Careful there Fairy, dont you dare mention mixed feeding here, you will have the wreath of certain posters fall upon you!

I am convinced that topping up with formula saved my sanity. I found it so difficult, and painful to express, that it was breast or formula. My babies both got a formula top up around 11 each evening while I slept.

I get what people say about establishing a supply, but if the entire breastfeeding is in jeopardy, it is better to top up a feed a day, than only do bottles.

[MrsJossNaylor]

I had to pump exclusively for the first 10 weeks of DSs life, as he couldn't latch but I wanted to bf. I hated it. Even with a double, hospital-grade pump, it took forever to pump enough milk for a feed - plus all the sterilizing etc.

When he finally began latching, life was much easier as he could suck out in 10 mins what took 40mins to pump.

I would say it would be far easier - and quicker - for you to do the feeding and DH to do everything else. Plus you are more likely to establish bfing if your baby is used tp just your breast and isn't switching between that and a bottle.

Good luck.

[waterrat]

The problem with sharing it is that you will never get a break - every time your dh takes the baby you will be pumping ! And if you are there and pumping it would be much easier to just feed te baby!

I hated pumping it got no milk out for me - I used a hospital grade pump and still nothing - my milk supply was fine I have ebf for te last six months

Personally I would focus on establishing breastfeeding and within a few weeks you can space the feeds and I would then mix feed if you want a break

As others say - get your dh to do everything else while you rest and bf

[magpieginglebells]

I personally found pumping a pain in the arse and found it easier to let my husband do the cooking and carrying of the baby and me do the feeding, but that's only my experience.

It is definitely doable, you'll need bottles, steriliser and a pump. I'm sure you'll find what's easiest and best for you! Good luck.

[divafever24]

I was in a similar situation to you. I was quite unwell post c section, I was in hospital and Dh was at home with dd. I used the breast pump on the maternity ward to send milk home to dd, intending on breast feeding her as soon as we were reunited. Unfortunately once she had had a bottle a couple of times she wouldn't breast feed. The upset and stress of it all caused my milk to dry up and I ended up formula feeding. I put far too much pressure on myself. Trying to breast feed after a section is really hard, you are so sore and need time to recover. If it doesn't work out don't beat yourself up over it. As long as your baby is fed that is good enough. Good luck

[Sleepyhoglet]

I have a 4 week old and I wanted to do what you are suggesting but out of choice. So glad I didn't as breast feeding so much easier- no sterilising bottles of waiting for feeds. It's all there just plonk baby on. Slather your nipples with lanisoh after every feed for first week though.

[GoodKingQuintless]

In your shoes I would not share the feeding, but let your dh do all the housework and look after you. Just go to bed with your baby and stay there. You recover, and baby work hard on being a newborn: sleep, feed, and fill her nappies. The nappies will be your dhs job, as well as feeding you and supplying you with drinks, etc. Help you to the bathroom, and what not. You may want to express and let him do a night feed if that helps.

[ShadowKat]

My DS1 was fed mostly on expressed breast milk after we failed to establish breastfeeding.

DS2 is breastfed. We had some problems getting breastfeeding established (partly due to jaundice & partly due to difficulty finding a position that was comfortable for DS2 because his head got quite bruised being born) - but once the initial problems were resolved i found breastfeeding so much easier than expressing. I got great support from the hospital MWs with DS2 too, which made all the difference in getting breastfeeding established.

So I would recommend getting as much breastfeeding support as possible while you're still in hospital - they should have some specialist breastfeeding support staff. Get info on local nct / LLL breastfeeding support for after discharge.

And get DH to do everything when you're home, including bringing you the baby for feeds, so that the only thing you need to do is lie in bed and feed the baby.

Hope all goes well.

[Waffles80]

If expressing then definitely a double pump. I had the medela swing and was pretty pleased with it but a hospital grade one ought to be better (ask where you are, or call NCT or La Leche League).

I mix fed my twins and found that expressing was, although successful, really draining. Someone here suggested cutting slits in a sports bra to hold the pump in place leaving my hands free.

[MrsGoslingWannabe]

Why would OP want to consider mixed feeding when she has stated that she wants to bf and has lots of milk?

What Tippytappy said is good - just concentrate on bf for now and resting as much as possible OP. Is is your first?

[anothernumberone]

Here is how it worked for us DH did everything changed nappies, cooked, cleaned brought me baby and I fed the babylying down often asleep in bed. Needless to say that only needs to last a short while until you are fit for more but it really helps. Expressing creates a lot of work and still there is a baby who needs to be fed at the end of it IMHO. Congrats on the new arrival and do take it really slow for a few weeks.

[ChristmassyMe]

Definitely possible, give it a try and see what works for you. With my first baby (dd) we tried expressing and dh bottle feeding the expressed milk at night for a break for me, haha! It was a nightmare tbh! I couldn't express much, so that took a long time to get a feed's worth of milk, and at night she's cry so loudly and desperately while he was heating the milk etc that I found it was just so much quicker and easier to just shove her on the boob - that was nobody really even had to wake up properly (we co-slept). SO we gave up on that idea pretty quick! With second baby (ds) we just co-slept and bf'd from the off, for 2 years! - Never bothered with expressing/bottles or getting out of bed at night, as it all seemed to be more of a hassle than it was worth. Good luck, hope it works for you - or you find something that does. x

[Annarose2014]

There are plenty of people who didn't find it remotely easier to "lie back in bed & breastfeed". It depends what the OPs problem with it is.

Join your MN Postnatal group (under Parenting). Its a lot of support from people who have babies the exact same age.

I bf and it hasn't been painful, but I still express every other day to give myself the odd break so DH can do it. I find it brilliant. I have a double electric Medela pump and it only takes 10 mins as I have a lot of supply. Its really not that big a faff - especially with microwave sterilizers these days.

Plenty of people express throughout their whole bf journey & find it works very well for their particular situation. Best of luck!

[DayLillie]

I was quite ill and anaemic after my first, due to PPH. DH used to do the winding and nappy changes, laundry, cooking (ok - heating up pizza - it took me years before I liked pizza again ). He did beautiful ironing, but this is also the time during which he managed to gain control of the washing machine

The next time was twins in SCBU. I did a lot of pumping and they were tube fed, so it worked quite well during that time. Once home, it was better to just feed them and hand one over to DH whilst I fed the next. He became very efficient at winding. DS1 had been such a difficult baby, we had a strategy worked out between us to maximise sleep. We have lots of photos with him, looking half asleep with a spaced out baby on his chest and a muslin cloth over his shoulder (they were sick on him a lot .