To wonder if this was little bit underhand and unfair? Work related.

[NeonDoll]

I've name changed for this as it is potentially outing.

I currently work in a school, mornings only till 12.30. It's only temporary at the moment proving maternity leave cover, but I've been happy here until today. When I got in today all of the teachers and staff were wearing Christmas jumpers, everyone except me because I hadn't been told about it. So there I am in my smart (ish) work clothes, whilst everyone else was dressed in casual clothes, but I presumed it was just a genuine oversight...

Then at break time one the TA's who I work really closely with asked me if I was staying for Christmas dinner today. I didn't know anything about it, I know that usually you have to book and pay in advance for school Christmas dinner so I said no, because I hadn't been told about in advance! Then at lunchtime I had about four other members of staff ask me why I hadn't had a Christmas dinner with the staff or children, I gave them the same explanation. Two of them even told me I should just go and get one anyway, but I couldn't do that could I? There wouldn't be enough because they only cater for so many don't they, and I'd not paid in advance, although I'd have happily paid up tomorrow.

I felt really awkward and out of place. I suppose a pushier person than me would have just gone and had a dinner. It seemed quite an underhand way to behave, why didn't they ask me beforehand if I wanted one? Or tell me that it was wear a Christmas jumper to work day? Should I maybe bring this up with the teacher I work with (who said nothing to me about it, even today) or forget it? Or a I just over thinking things?

[DoItTooJulia]

Oh, I'd be upset too, even if it is a genuine oversight.

Raise it with your line manager next time you have a one to one, or just speak to them about it next time you see them.

If you've been in the receiving end of workplace bullying you know ho afoul it makes you feel. If this isn't bullying, but an oversight, straighten it out now.

Hope you feel a bit better though, it's a horrible feeling.

[alpacasosoftsnowgentlyfalling]

My DS says you can have his sprouts !

Don't worry too much OP ,in your past job those that excluded you deliberately were nasty bullies.
It happened to me once and luckily management came down on them like a ton of bricks.
Don't let your past experiences sour your future .

[ShadowKat]

Yes, I'd discuss it politely. Your manager would probably be the first person to ask? I would assume that staff not mentioning some things is more likely to be an oversight and an assumption that you automatically receive general staff e-mails etc, and would go into a discussion on the basis of how can we improve communications in the future.

Ideally have some suggestions for how to improve communications up your sleeve, some of the posters above have made some useful suggestions for that.

[MrsPepperMintonCandyCane]

Years ago I once turned up in my summer floaty skirt and sandals to be asked why I wasn't ready for the trip! I was off to the farm and they forgot to tell me. After borrowing tracksuit bottoms and the football socks I had a lunch in a brown bag from the kitchen and off we went.

I understand how you'd feel after the previous unpleasant experiences but I think this is just poor communication at its finest.

[happystory]

I understand why you feel upset but I don't see it as underhand or unfair. Schools are massively busy places, especially at this time of year and the teacher was probably fretting too much about the end of term show to remember to tell you! I think it's up to you to be more proactive in finding out what's going on.

[MidniteScribbler]

I really doubt it was deliberate exclusion (or why would someone have even asked if you were going to lunch?). At our school, things like this are mentioned at staff meetings and put up on the notice board. Staff who do not attend the staff meetings are expected to check the board themselves. I genuinely don't have time in my day to chase up a part time employee to make sure they know about silly sweater day, I hear about it in meetings, scribble in my diary, then forget about it until the night before myself when I check my diary. I would expect someone who was not in meetings to check up on the board themselves and speak to whomever is coordinating whatever event it is. Working part time and not attending staff meetings means that you have to be proactive in chasing things like that up.

[JubJubBirds]

I'm sorry that happened OP. To me it sounds like simple miscommunication rather than anything more sinister though.

It really isn't the teacher's job to double check you've got all the general notices, they'll have enough to deal with. It seems your school isn't good enough at displaying information (eg on the whiteboard in the classroom).

Sign up to get the email notices then, if you want to be really proactive, go to your line manager and suggest weekly/termly notices are displayed in the staff room, you could even offer to be in charge of it if you want - a responsibility guaranteed to ensure you never miss an event again!

[allypally999]

I get this too (part-time also) as some of the staff think I don't have the same entitlement that they do (I do)

1 member of staff tries to tell me things.

Unsurprisingly I am thinking of leaving after 6 years of this rudeness. I don't care what they or anyone else thinks anymore.

Totally understand hwo OP feels - playground mentality at its worst!

[happystory]

Playground mentality implies you think it is deliberate, allypally I'd be very surprised if it was, just an oversight in a very busy environment where everyone has a million things to deal with in the autumn term esp at Christmas

[SpringBreaker]

Do you never instigate conversations yourself with your colleagues? None of your grievances sound as if they are deliberately done, just a lack of communication, and an assumption on your part that people will tell you and you dont like to ask.

[GoldenKelpie]

OP, I work in a school too, a support assistant, and this sort of thing does happen from time to time. Please believe that it's not personal, but communication does not always work effectively.

Our staff xmas lunch is tomorrow (the pupils is Friday) and there has been a staff list in the staff room for a couple of weeks with tick boxes for choices of main and dessert. A member of support staff has asked everyone to fill it in and asked those who haven't to tick their preferences on the list.

You could have gone to the kitchen and asked if they could fit you a lunch in, I bet they could have. Part time staff do have an added difficulty because you can't always attend meetings or read emails in time.

[Summerisle1]

I really would put this down to a lack of communication rather than assume there's any sort of motive behind it. It's unfortunate that both events occurred on the same day but if you aren't on the email list and don't attend meetings, it might well be that in a busy school, your lack of knowledge about jumper day and Christmas lunch simply got overlooked.

However, I do think that it would have been sensible to have gone and checked out whether you could have lunch rather than do nothing and treat yourself as a victim of underhand and unfair behaviour. Only I'm certain that there would have been enough food to go round because Christmas lunches really aren't so portion specific usually.

It might be sensible to mention to your line manager that you were sorry to miss out on both lunch and jumper day and ask what would be the best way for you to inform yourself about future events like this. Don't start by coming across as a victim though since there's really no evidence to suggest there's any campaign of exclusion going on.

[allypally999]

point taken happy that must be my own stuff taking over lol