To be annoyed at what my 3yo just said..'I'm white and you're black''

[squiggler]

My DC has been saying "I'm white and you're black and friend 1 is black and friend 2 is white...'. Obviously I'm not annoyed at DC as he's only 3 but it turns out that this was a conversation that they had had at pre-school with one of the teachers.

AIBU to think that by the time kids are in pre-school they should be able to understand more than just 'black and white' based on what people look like?

I can see that the teacher was probably put on the spot by one of kids and didn't really think about what she was saying, but I would have thought that it could have been handled in less 'black and white' terms, especially as there is quite a mix of kids in the nursery.

Perhaps I should have already discussed this with DC but so far the question of 'race' as such hasn't come up. It's been more a case of 'so and so's mummy/daddy/whoever is from here'...and not in terms of race, just country of origin.

The black/white thing is a personal bugbear of mine because I'm a mix of ethnicities and back when I was a child there was still quite a bit of (what we would now class as) racism about so not sure if I'm just being over sensitive.

[TheFriar]

I don't think that the OP is unreasonable either. Why on earth is it ok to say the skin colour us either white or brown??? Why should you make a separation between white as a group and all the others including let's say the Chinese who are certainly not white nor brown??
Having a discussion about the difference in skin colour should be more than white and non white but to show how much difference there are in the world.
And I agree with talk g about where people are coming from but maybe more on a 'this is where their ancestor came from' rather than where the person herself comes from. Eg I know someone who is born in the UK but her maternal grand parents are from Thailand and her paternal grand parents are from Africa. Did he us from the uk but her origins are from Thailand and Africa.

[Oakmaiden]

I think what I thought really sad was when a class of 7 year olds were talking about differences between people, and the teacher asked what was the big difference between the way she looked and they looked, they were really worried about suggesting she had darker skin. The stammered and looked embarrassed. But it is just a fact - she is Kenyan, so yes, she has a darker skin tone.

[Bulbasaur]

Could be worse, at that age I went around pointing at random people announcing which set of genitals they possessed.

"He has a penis so he's a boy!"

My poor mother.

Anyway, I wouldn't worry about it too much. He's just announcing differences because they're different, not because they're bad.

[Waltonswatcher]

My dd chose the black soft doll from ikea when she was one .She used to love playing with him . Lately he never gets looked at. I asked her why and she said 'Because he looks weird'. I assumed she was referring to his racial difference and felt perturbed. When were in ikea today I picked up the white ikea doll and asked her if she wanted that one instead. My dd looked at it ,pulled a face and said 'That one is weird too'.
Sometimes we over think things!

[riverboat1]

I remember having a conversation with DSS about people being 'black' or 'white' when he was about 5. I pointed out that some people were mixed black AND white, due to having parents of different races. He was having none if it, adamant that it wasn't possible and he had never seen anyone like this. I remember trying to explain about inheriting half your genes from one parent etc etc...still no. I pointed out his cousin was mixed race, he was insistent he was just black even though his mum was white...

Turns out he thought I was saying some people have literally half a white body and a line down the middle with the other half being black. Or that someone could be white with black spots, or black but with a white arm or half a white face...

[Itsfab]

When my son was 4 he saw George Aligiah on the news and commented on him having brown skin. Actually, it has just come to me he said chocolate coloured skin. It was different to him as he hadn't seen many people that weren't white at school and around. He hadn't noticed he lived next to a lady who was black as he saw her as Jenny, not as a colour iyswim.

My younger son goes to a school where there is many ethnicities and he has never described any of the children to me by the colour of their skin.

[ghostspirit]

where i live its a big mix of everyone. I have never really had a chat with my kids about peoples colour/race. i think its are just accepting. accepting is totally the wrong word! the kids just dont know any different since they been born they have seen all different people what ever their colour.

Anyway i think the kids have it spot of. its adults the mess things up.

i wonder would it also depend on where people live? im in london so big mix of people.

when i lived up north for a short while there was me. and another family the family were mix raced.. we had both moved there from london. it was durham-crook very country to me anyway. I felt like i was an outsider and never settled came back to london after 6 months. The mix race couple got out as fast as they could as well. they had the N word painted on their shed and people called them blacky. and people i did speak to there seemed to find it odd that i mixed with them :/